My SD is the girlfriend not me
My SD thinks that she is the one who is in a relationship with her dad and I'm a nobody..his kids are 22, and 21 and have absolutely no accountability for anything...they don't even have their license. We had plans to go do something for our anniversary and his daughter was conveniently upset about something and he said he couldn't leave her home alone all emotional but will ignore me and act like I don't exist when I'm upset...if she doesn't get her way she makes him feel guilty by ignoring him..they do nothing to contribute to the house at all its like I'm a servant to them and if I say anything his response is "Don't you live here too? " It's frustrating to do everything and not be acknowledged and they do nothing and get the world..why is she so clingy to the point that it is unhealthy...everything revolves around her...I can't stand it ...I think that they have boundary issues and he doesn't see it..I don't want to hurt anyone but I feel like someone needs to get things understood...
I doubt very much that you'd
I doubt very much that you'd be able to change their family dynamic. Your SO is treating his daughter like a child and, at the same time, putting you on the same level as her. If he can't tell the difference between his daughter and his girlfriend, well, why bother staying with someone who never makes you a priority and who takes you for granted?
I'm flabbergasted that he thinks he should sit and hold an adult's hand because they are "upset". Good grief! And it's so much worse because he threw away your anniversary for her. This guy isn't worth your time. You derserve so much better!
ask yourself
where you will be in five years. His problem isn't them, his problem is himself.
Boundaries
Lead the way on the boundary issue by establishing yours.
Boundaries and acceptance of adult children
I really think I do not have to restate what has been stated. You are reliving my past life, and it will not change! You will be the one who will have to change to find happiness. This unhealthy dynamics leads to infant adults, that are entitled. I am surprise they have not tried to physically undermine you? If they live in the same household, they could steal from you, like mail, personal items, misplace your property on purpose, even sabotage your automobile and pretend they do not know about it. The main proble is their father who will never change. You will realize you need your mental health to be positive and you cannot remain in the struggle. To top off my struggle I was in love with an emotional cheater, who did not think this type of affair was cheating. I chose to ignore the warnings, and eventually left it all for them to muddle in.
LEAVE
Dang I know that is an easy answer but according to the polls on here LOL guilty daddio + whiny mini wife = STEP HEAVEN NOT!
Be smart, dont be me. I hung in for ten years hoping praying my EX DH would see SD's manipulations . My prayers were not answered. I did finally realize that SD learned to manipulate from my ex DH. He was the master at that, until SD took reign. There was no room for me. I finally realized I didnt want room, I wanted peace. Now I have it.
why is she so clingy to the
why is she so clingy to the point that it is unhealthy..
Because he allows it and encourages it. And it probably will never change.
at the end of the day,
it is your husband who allows it and rewards it. He could shut that poop down but doesn't. Address that and you address the root of the problems.
Second wife
My H just had it out with his SD34 because she was getting demanding and using the old emotional blackmail card! She told him he needs to spend more time with his "blood' than his "second wife"
so you see, it does not matter to them! You are nothing! They are above you and he will not set them straight. My H never did until I left him...Only then does he finally stand up for me! Its like someone told me once...
if you are not first, you are last!