If your sister was more aligned with your father from an early age or at least she took his side in the divorce. And did your father encourage it?  I know these things happened with my SD.  She still has a poor relationship with her mother.  Think how hard it must be to try and hold on to your father who is dating or has the nerve to have a SO?

So DH's miniwife called last night right at 630. Forget it's Valentines Day!  Lol. She knew I'm sure and DH did to his credit spoke in the kitchen while I was cooking. He didn't run off like he usually does. Of course she ended with " say hello to Mary".  DH had to say how see how she thinks about you?  She always says that!  
the man is deluded because he says she is coming for a visit to our home after two years.  I said when???  He replied "she said whenever you want". Meaning my DH. I laughed and said you've begged her every holiday so why now?  She tells you what you want to hear but won't do it and she knows you never pushback. 
 

We were having a nice VD night. We were both cooking an extravagant meal drinking wine and talking. Of course that ended with SD call and DH only hung up when she ends call after at least 20 minutes. I smiled and said nothing. Normally I would have rolled my eyes and pointed to my watch. We kind of have a rule no cell phones at dinner. 
But yes in his family interestingly his ex has a SO who does not have any children and two other SD have SO who only have sons. I think these women pick guys who don't have competition?  Could that be possible?  I think so after observing these women over 15-16 years. They hated me from the get go. Competition. 

I think sometimes the situation must come out of a sense of protectionism for their parent.. 

I recently read an article talking about how their father and step mom had entered into a trust that her father had relayed meant that she and her sibling would get shared in to the inheritance of the trust after the stepmom died (along with stepmom's kid).. well dad dies and mom changes the trust.. legally or not.. that was the question.

So.. sometimes there are "new" people that try to come in and take advantage to an extent.. and it's hard to know 100% what people's intentions are.. and for better or worse... kids should be wary of the new spouse getting full access to redistribute their parent's estate.. when I think in MOST cases.. a bio parent expects that what they leave behind will ultimately go to their children.. unless their spouse had a need for it.. (like the family home etc.. ). 

Also.. I think that someone stepping up and filling the "man of the house" woman of the house roles happens too.. and a parent reeling from divorce could easily allow that to happen I guess.

If you go on another forum-type site (rhymes with Beddit) and look under the Stepparent tab, there is actually a 2-year-old announcement by moderators stating they would delete any postings that use the term "mini-wife" because it is highly derogatory. 

Gimme a break. I'd be willing to bet no moderator ever did that whenever the word "wicked" or "evil" appears before stepmother/father. Or any other adjective that assumes a person is toxic simply for marrying someone with kids. That kind of bigotry is perfectly acceptable.

Anyway, Mia, back to your point of mini-wives. (Hurrah!  We can still use that term here on STalk!) 

I believe that there is a psychological condition where a girl develops an unhealthy relationship with her father and sees any other female as competition for him, including her own mother. Jung called it the Electra Complex.  My sister is much like yours, and IMO she had a very heavy hand in my parents divorce.  This continued well into adulthood. 

She then interfered with my father's subsequent 2nd marriage and viciously told him (in front of her) if he stayed married to "this golddigger" she would never speak to him again. The woman decided (smartly) that this was a battle she would never win, and she agreed to a divorce. 

I do think my father had significant blame as he should have shut her down when she was younger, as my mother often requested him to do. I think my sister's behavior was compounded by their marital problems. My sister saw that as her entry into full-blown mini-wife status, which she wielded like a weapon up until my father was terminally ill. Then she conveniently was nowhere to be found and the rest of us siblings took care of him.  

At that point, my father finally had clarity and realized what a manipulative and nasty person she was. By then it was too late. 

But I don't think a parent is entirely to blame for this situation. I truly think my sister has a significant personality disorder or is just fundamentally an evil person. I could go on and on about the horrific things she's done to manipulate people, and she learned it at a young age by doing it to her own father. 

Interesting take. Just curious - did your older sister have what would be considered a full life of her own (job, friends, husband, kids?) Was your father a strong-willed man or did he tend to go along with what others wanted? 

Is that an allowed term?  Enmeshed?  That describes the relationship. I think enmeshment is a life long dysfunction. my mother and brother were and are enmeshed and that created a monster. My brother. A man child. Different from mini wife. He actually hated my mother. But used her for everything. 
 

Sadly, dirtbags can often take advantage without much anyone can do about it.  When we listed out home last summer origninally we did not want a for sale sign in the yard due to some reading we had done on scammers trying to take homes that are listed, or squat in them delaying sales in some cases for years.  

After a few weeks we decided to have our agent put up a sign.  Within a few daysof the sign going up we started getting credit denial letters at our address for people we had no idea who they were.  Applying for credit at the address for a listed home is an early step in scamming ownership in the home.  

We closed on the home a few weeks later without incident.  

Our car insurance renewed the end of January.  The insurance company sent the renewal contract in early January.  The individual who had applied for car loans, bank loans, credit carts, etc... at the address of the recently sold home was on our car insurance.  Our premiums more than doubles.  We lost our ever loving minds.  As a 20+ year licensed insurance professional, in a prior career, I engaged calls to our insurance company.  They said to send in the form that came with the renewal policy and they would remove the individual from our policy.  I instructed them to immediately remove the individual and put a flag on our policy stipulating that the individual has been fraudulently added to our policy.  The paperwork did outline how an insurance company can add drives to a policy if additional residents at that address are identified in a background/credit check.  Last week we went to print our new insurance cards.... the mystery driver was still on our policy.  Having already failed to get the insurance company to deal with it effectively, I called out agent.  They were extremely helpful. I told them that when they cann the insurance company to let them know that we have engaged an attorney to address any financial, credit, or reputation impact of the insurance company's failure to do as we had instructed weeks earlier.  20mins later the agent called back, the. driver had been removed, and a credit of 50% of our annual premiums had been applied.

When it comes to inept crap and fraudsters, making the risk far exceed any reward can be an effective.  Including exclusion to inherritance for anyone who contests or who is not specifically named, putting it all in trust for distribution per the terms of the trust my a 3rd party trustee, etc, etc, etc,,,,  Making it as easy as possible for legitimate heirs and as painful as possible for those playing games.

Even if you are in the Will, play a game, lose everything you would have otherwise received.

The only solutionf for the type of POS your OS is, is for parents to not tolerate growing shit spawn.

Once htey are grown, the solution is for no one to tolerate their crap, go full zero tolerance destruction on them, and tolerate not one spect of fecal behavior from them.

Sadly, far too many parents and far too many in the family that spawns this kind of shit will ever effectively do anything about it.

I know my IL clan avoids addressing my POS SIL like she has the plague.  Not that they purge her from teh family, they actaully embrace her. All whilesmiling like she isn't the shit that she is.  Everyone ignores her noxious emanations, thieving, lying, rip off crap. Except... for me.  I have always called her overtly on her crap.  When she is building up people start looking for me to see when I am going to cut her off at the knees.  Sadly, my DW also does not tolerate her own sister's crap any more.

Sadly, my BIL1 married someone just as noxious as his baby sister.  She is anotherone that everyone smiles and ignores her crap.... Again... not me. And not my DW.

Their crap is cyclical.  It can go for quite some time with SIL and BIL1's bovine bride being under the RADAR with their crap. Though invariably they ooze out of their periods of less noxious existance and return to their pinacle of detestable stench.

Most irksome to me is that when that happens in breaks my DW's heart.  As the golden child of the IL clan, when DW gets upset my MIL freaks out, askes what is wrong, then... has to listen to the litany of crap perpetrated by her younges child and her eldest son's  Bovine Bride.

Then MIL gets all sullen and depressed.  And... we go through the brooding silence period followed by the "we miss you soooooo much come visit" cycle, followed by a period of reasonably enjoyable family interface periods, until.... SIL and the BB start their usual shit.  I have pointed out to the whole clan that if SIL's and BB's  was not tolerated by anyone that we would not go through the cycle of shit.

Nope, instead, everyone looks at me and DW with fear in their eyes.  We do say something.  No one else does.

Which is why things get a whole lot better when we are forced to call them out on the bullshit.... at least for a while.

What amazes me is that the whole clan seems to be of the mind that we will not notice the same old shit when it surfaces.  

My experiences with this:

SDnow24 Feral Forger, shes a mess anyway, but from what I was told by BOTH husband AND SD17 Powersulk, FF was a mini-wife. She was described as "happy when mom moved out and she could take over the house and demand money from dad, all she had to do was tell him what a bad dad he was and he would give her money."

I watched her treat her younger sister as her little slave. I listened as husband described the total b!tch that was Feral Forger as "the perfect kid" who helped him clean and take care of everything when it was just them.

I listened to her rant about me and listened more recently when she told me she had a "right" to have her old room back because the house belonged to her dad and she was the "child".

Eff that, I responded with "We bought this house together and we each pay half of everything, and you hate me and have called me terrible names, so I dont see how that would actually work..." click.

I think BOTH enmeshment and mini-wife syndrom are at play with you OS. What a horrible person.