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I love this phrase

Newimprvmodel's picture

I found on the internet. My new tenet. Don't cross oceans for people who won't even cross the street for you. 

grannyd's picture

So true, Hon, unless we create boundaries and enforce them, we're inviting evildoers to walk all over us. I'm impressed with your recent determination to disengage from your nasty SD and let her beloved daddy take up the reins. 

It'll be interesting to see how long his devotion lasts when he's the only one dancing attendance on his phony, entitled spawn. This is one visit that I'll be following closely because I'm convinced that the tide has turned!

And BTW, are there any private, somewhat embarrassing items about your husband that you can share with SD; enlarged prostate, weight gain, erectile dysfunction? Let him find out how betrayal feels. Perhaps it’ll teach him to resist sharing your private matters with a person you actively dislike, yes? Diablo

 

Newimprvmodel's picture

And I've been an enabler too. Keeping up the pretense.  No more.  I won't be mean at all but she will see what she should have gotten years ago from me. Disengagement. The cold shoulder.  
 

Harry's picture

We don't want to fight all the time so we allow thing to happen we don't like.    When we get tired of being kicked. We fight back.  It's becomes fun to disengage,  seeing SK  doing for themselves, walking ,  not coming over.   If SO just was a better parent and kept their kids in line. Things would be different.  

Rags's picture

They choose the fight. Not us. But, when they choose to fight, they choose to be destroyed.  Their choice.

Tell them that you don't want to fight but if they make that choice, they will lose and suffer.

Then deliver on the consequences of their choices with full vigor.

We used this very effectively with the SpermClan during the 16+ years we were under the Custody/Visitation/Support CO.  We never started a fight but we damned sure won every one they started.  They chose the fight, we chose to use very legal, financial, and social weapon available to end them when they did start a fight.

They never learned.  Even after the CO ended when SS aged out from under it on his 18th Bday. They tried to take advantage of him.  We had his back though he no longer needed us to confront them. He put them in their place and has kept them there for nearly 14 years living his life as a viable self supporting adult and a man of character, honor, and standing in his life, profession, and community.

They remain the trash walliowng in the effluent of their shallow and polluted gene pool as they always have been.  SS is the eldest and only of the Spermidiot's 4 all out of wedlock spawn by 3 different baby mamas who is a successful self supporting viable adult. #2 is on the dole, #3 is in prison, and #4 is not far behind the inmate.

frustrated78's picture

I love it, how true and appropriate.  I am going to  keep that one in mind.