Health insurance for adult stepchildren
My DH ex wife carries health insurance for step kids 25, 23 and 18. In the past we have reimbursed her health insurance costs with the child support payment. July was the last child support payment since youngest turned 18. Ex wife is wanting DH to reimburse 50% of health insurance including cost of ex wife being on policy. My DH told her that is he is paying her 50% of what it costs to add the children to policy. He is no longer responsible for taking care of her(ex wife). He told her to send documentation of what the difference is and he will pay it. We get this huge packet in the mail of documentation and she is still wanting DH to pay 50% of employees plus children.
I'm curious how other people in our situation has dealt with this. Since the youngest is 18 and ex wife is allowed to carry health insurance until 26, whatever we decide to do we are obligated for the next 8 years so I want to be fair and smart about this decision.
It's my responsibility in the household to pay bills/write checks (DH is responsible for bringing the money in, I'm responsible for sending it out correctly). I need to send her a reimbursement check today and I'll need to address how we came up with the amount. Which what we did was for example:
Employee+children $100
Employee only $50
Costs additional $50 to add kids. We ere responsible for half that amount so $25 is owed to her.
My DH and I really feel like this is fair but she is going to be PISSED!!!
Please tell me how you would handle this if you were in my shoes.
Yup, the Adult's can pay for
Yup, the Adult's can pay for themselves. Send her the $25 and she can just get the fuck over it.
Frankly, if they have all
Frankly, if they have all aged out of CS, I wouldn't pay squat. The adult "children" can all reimburse their mother for their portion of their own healthcare insurance.
Once a child turns 18 they
Once a child turns 18 they have "aged out" and there is no further legal obligation on either parent's part. I've had to actually call my attorney and verify this, because my exH tried to make me pay for some dental procedures that both of our boys had done after they turned 18. I refused. I told exH to make the boys pay for it, they both have jobs. ExH ended up paying for all of it. His choice.
The youngest is a freshman in
The youngest is a freshman in college. As long as she is in school, obtaining a college degree ,I want to help her to have health insurance. I agree with the older two who have already graduated college and have careers of their own. Although, with this particular policy, the cost is the same for employee+children. Doesn't matter if it's one, two or three kids.
I was thinking about when I write her check and mail it , just printing out from her employers website the cost difference page between the two and just highlighting the amounts and letting her do the math on her own.
Do you agree? Or should I explain and break it down?
Reminder- she is gonna be PISSED!
It's not so much that I care
It's not so much that I care if she's going to be pissed. I know that she is going to drag the three skids into it and I do love them and care what they think. My goal with this post is validation that I've made the fair decision on how to handle this situation.
Btw- I like your letter. To the point. My DH will like that.
She also sent receipts for
She also sent receipts for the 23 year olds copay and prescription wanting reimbursement. This particular stepdaughter has graduated college, lives with her mom and has a job as a bank teller. When I was 23 I was completely on my own. The BM's argument is that when my DH and her were young and first married that her parents helped them alot. Which is completely true. They even lived with her parents for some time.
This is just something else that is going to piss her off.
Tough, tough, tough. What's
Tough, tough, tough. What's she going to do, spank him?
I get where you are going and
I get where you are going and wanting to do the right thing. I would print off the cost difference, highlight it and send it with the check.
BTW, I bet she will LOVE that you sign the check LOL
Thanks for understanding.
Thanks for understanding. Would you reimburse for the 23 year olds copays and prescriptions? She lives with her mom, graduated college and works as a bank teller.
I'm sure she is resentful of me always the one signing her checks. My DH is self employed and his company has become very successful since divorcing her. My DH says a big part of it is having a wife that actually supports him has made all the difference. When they were married money was always a struggle and they fought over financial matters all the time. I'm sure she hates me even more because I don't have to struggle the way she did. ..... It's her own fault though really.
Personally, I think paying a
Personally, I think paying a portion of the insurance is more than generous. Kids that are grown and in a career need to pay thier own co-pays.
So for the three kids, their
So for the three kids, their portion is $50. 2/3 should be paid by the adult skids, the remaining 1/3 should be split in half by parents for the 18 yr old. By my calculations, he should pay $8.50 in premium. Parents split copays for 18 year old, adult skids are 100% responsible for theirs unless financial hardship and then THEY can ask whichever parent for money when they need it.
This BM is ridiculous.
I'm assuming CO means court
I'm assuming CO means court order. No legal obligation once the kids reach 18. Although my DH believes in still helping his daughters out financially as long as they are in college and making the grades. Once they graduate college though they are on their own.
Why is he still paying
Why is he still paying ANYTHING for kids who have hit 18? Unless it's court ordered tell her no.
Haha I like you!!!
Haha
I like you!!!
Is BM married? If so, and if
Is BM married? If so, and if her husband is listed on her insurance, she may not be paying anything for the skids to be insured. Please do not agree to anything until you have proof she is actually paying for the insurance.
She has since my DH been
She has since my DH been married and divorced.... Again.
Your math is exactly what was
Your math is exactly what was ordered in our CO. Either my wife or I provided coverage for SS under our employer sponsored health insurance. The Sperm Idiot had to pay 50% of the delta between EE+Spouse and EE+Family which was added to his CS obligation.
Your DH should never pay any of the premium to cover BM unless it is ordered in the CO. Since DH's CO clears him of CS responsibility when his kids turned 18 then he has no obligation to pay anything from age 18 forward. I would suggest that if he wants to pay for half of insurance coverage for SS that your DH cut his kids each a check for $100 for one years worth of half of kid related insurance premiums and tell the kids that paying their mom is now their responsibility. IF the kids do not pay BM then that is an issue that the kids and BM will have to resolve.
Your DH has no responsibility and should not be involved at all.
In our CO CS ended at age 18. However, if SS had continued on to be a full time college student in good standing then his Sperm Idiot would have had to continue to pay CS until SS turned 22 with the difference being that CS would be paid directly to SS rather than to my DW.