DH knows who his princess is. SD's (27) boyfriend recently asked DH for her hand in marriage. DH told asked him if he was sure he wanted to do it because SD was: lazy, not friendly, a little rough around the edges, smart mouthed. Now, he told her boyfriend this . . . .but never mentioned it to me so I would know what to expect. DH knows exactly who she is and she's embarrased him on more than one occasion. He told me "I'm sorry I didn't do a good job of raising her."

My SO has recently decided that his grown adult children should support themselves. WOW. Such an amazing discovery! He has known this and wanted them to be self-sufficient but hasn't been strict enough for them so they keep getting bailed out by daddy. However, he has recently said...SD20 needs to get a job, I'm done supporting them they are adults and need to go off on their own without so much coddling. Um YEAAAAAAH! Thank God! Not that he's going to stick to this but at least it's a change from what it's been up until now!

I think they have to somehow come to this on their own and if it means they learn the hard way...that's how it's gotta be right? I hate seeing my SO upset or hurt but they have done this to him plenty of times. He gives them money constantly but when he left his crazy loser ex wife, they were pissed cause they wanted him to stay home and said that they "didn't even know him anymore" and that they were "ashamed to call them dad" WOW. That's kind for you to say after he has given up everything to take care of your dumb asses for more than 20 years. He lets you stay home and do what you want, you have it so easy but then you call him names as a thank you? Oh yeah these "women" are prizes...he must be so proud. I would be ashamed if they were my kids but then again...no child of mine will EVER act that way.

I can't tell you how many time DH looked at me with bewilderment after HIS daughter did something stupid. I always remind him . . . she's your daugther . . . mine would have known better. You have to raise them when they are young because when they're grown, it's much too late.

Yes, it took many years but husband now sees his sons for who they are. Oldest boy is extremely bright but smokes, drinks like a fish, parties and does not take on responsibility which at 29 with a masters in physics I find a little disgusting. He is a thief, unemployed, lives with bio mom. Does not contact his dad for anything. Husband sends him eCards to get nothing back in return. Last time husband saw him was 3 1/2 years ago, he told husband how he felt about me (we have been togethr 22 years), how I messed up, how I should not have said or did this and that, things he knew had never happened. Husband set his son straight and they have never talked since.

The younger boys, 27, was the apple of daddy's eye. From little (we met when boy was 5), he was always seeking daddy's attention, would break into tears in a heart beat, fall to the ground in pain if his brotehr barely touched him. The "feel sorry for me" type. Equally dishonest as much as his older brother, terrible temper. Husband just kept excusing and kept excusing. At 19, it was so bad it finally came down to me or him. Then we heard how we'd done him wrong, how I should have never played such a big role in his life (his mother was not around and I certainly didn't sign on as housekeeper and cook), I had never loved him, I favored my girls, etc.

A light finally went off when boy attacked his dad verbally instead of me like it had always been. He completely tore his dad down, this was this past Aug all because we refused to attend a b.day for his daughter which they had rescheduled so bio mom could be there. We had not been invited to son's wedding because of bio mom and then we were expected to celebrate a b.day with her? I don't know what they were thinking. Stepson told us both never to contact him again and I have not. Husband was mad, very mad for quite awhile but has recently made email attpemts only to be brushed off.

My husband sees his sons for who they are but tends to focus on any ounce of positive, he loves them regardless of what he has done to others and to him.

thank god my dh saw this a long time ago, knows that his oldest is a spitting image of her mother...will b interesting to see

I think DH is finally starting to realize what a mess he and BM made of their kids. They pretty much let them do as they pleased growing up. Neither parent wanted to be the "bad guy", and neither parent wanted to actually spend the time to discipline or correct them. Consequently, they have no respect for anyone, nor do they have ambitions or aspirations for themselves. They have no education because there was never anyone there to encourage it. It's very sad.

Since I've disengaged (and LOVE it!), every time DH says something about his kids, I just say, "well, that's what happens in the Land of Do As You Please". Then I walk away with a smug grin on my face! Bwahahahahahah!!!!!

Yea, but it doesn't change anything. He always says 'things are going to change" or whatever but he doesn't mean it. By the next visit he's calmed down and things are fine again. I think that is a normal parent thing, though. Most parents are blind to their kids faults no matter how big they are and continue to love them anyway. I think because the kids aren't 'ours' and they are skids then it makes it hard on us. Plus their actions affect our kids and us and that makes it harder. Dh and I talk about his entitled spoiled immature son and dh sees it and knows it. But at the end of the day dh allows his son to treat him badly. If that's what dh wants then what can I do?

My SO defintely has his eyes open about his adult D. His nearly 18 yr. old son is a different story. More to the point though, is that SO understands that he has played a significant roll in HOW they have turned out. He still holds out hope for change on their part and he is making some positive changes himself, so I remain hopeful albeit a little weary, lol.

Just this morning as DH and I were eating breakfast, we saw that SD (27) had moved something that she had no business touching. It wasn't anything major, but he wondered why she would move it. I told him she had issues and enjoys bothering other people's things. He looked kind of bewildered. We can't get her to not leave her shoes in front of the door, but she'll go out of her way to bother things . .especially if they 're related to me. I think it might be some type of ridiculous power play. It's this type of pettiness that I can't stand and I'm glad my DH also sees what's going on. I no longer have to convince him because he knows she has issues.