I have been feeling really sad and guilty lately because my daughter and my DH, now 20 have such a great relationship, (he adopted her after we were married and raised her since age 6) and he has no relationship with his kids. DH tells me that I need to move on and stop feeling this way, that my SK's chose to not have a relationship with us when they came of age to talk to BM. (We had custody with a no contact order, see From the Beginning Post) DH says my/our daughter is thankful for the fact that she has him and my SK's just want to blame me for trying to be the "mother" their BM did not want to be.

BM is still feeding them lies and even though they remember what she did to them, she turns it around to be my fault and instead of accepting the truth they believe her lies. SK are now 20 and 23. SS pretty much leaves us alone, SD however finds ways to harass us along with her BM.

SK's blame me for my DH leaving BM because BM tells them he was cheating on her with me. They know DH and I have been together for a total of 13 years and BM has been with her current BF for 17 years. DH and BM have been split up for 14 years, do the math. SK are also mad because DH never married their BM and married me, claims that their BM's feelings are hurt because he was with her 12 years and married me after a year and a half of being together. DH told them that BM cheated on him with many and he stayed so long for their sake and do not believe DH even though BM has been with BF longer than her and my DH have been split up.

DH says that none of this is my fault and if he married someone else SK's would of blame them. DH says I did everything I could for his kids, I accepted them as my own, fought for custody of them when BM would not and loved them like a mother should. He says my/our DD is thankful she has DH for a father, and instead of placing blame on others that her her bio dad did not want to be part of her. DD loves my DH and has never considered him to be anything else than her father. SK's chose to put blame on me for something that I had no control over.

DH told SK's when they started talking to BM again that if they try to come in between DH and I they will be on the outside looking in. That they do not have to like me, but they do have to respect me. SS move out at 18 and just slowly quit contacting his Dad. SD was still at home and did everything in her power to break her father and I up (went as far as putting me on a dating site so DH would think I was cheating). When SD turned 18 DH told her she had to move out because she can not live here and continue to treat me like trash. (What a surprise SD's BM would not let her live there either, but still her BM walks on water, so SD has been living with her friend).

DH said that he laid it out on the table and SK's chose to over turn that table, so now they can live their lives without him in it. DH said I have no reason to feel guilty that he has a great relationship with my/our DD.

I guess my DD looks at things different, she has no urge to know her bio dad. DD always says she has a Dad and he is all she needs. SK's could not accept how their mother was and still chose to turn a blind eye to her ways. That they need someone to blame, so they blame me.

I guess I just need to accept what it is.