DH and ExSD cookout
DH is still some what friendly with BM's daughter (not his daughter). When XSD is in the mood or wants something, he becomes "DADDDEEE" to her. She invited DH to a cookout over the weekend at her house. DH told her he would go but he didn't really want to go. I am not sure why he just didn't tell her no, or that he had other plans. Oh wait, I know why he didn't. He didn't want her to be upset with him. He was complaining about her children or should I say the bad behavior of her children and her messy home. He was literally "praying" for rain. I didn't say anything.
His prayers were not answered so he had to go to the cookout. On the way out the door, he ask me if I wanted to go. Why in the heck would I want to subject myself to 2 to 4 hours of THAT? I declined politely. He starts grumbling and complaining under his breath that he visits my grandkids with me and that I will NEED to visit his grandchildren with him. I ignore him. I always ask DH if he wants to go see my GKids but he knows if he declines, I don't mind. I really do not see her kids and his grandkids. He is gramps money bags but not grandpa.
She invited some of her friends but really wasn't sure why she invited DH. DH calls me after he gets there and says he is going to the store.. They didn't have any drinks or ice so she ask DH to go buy some. She doesn't give him money to do it, she just expects that he will buy it for her. While he was gone, they ate and saved him a small burnt burger. I just said wow and changed the subject. She wanted him to come to bring drinks for the party.
A few years ago, she invited DH to her son's birthday party and gave DH a sad story, she ordered pizza for his party and couldn't afford it. DH bought pizza for all the kids and adults at the party. He spent over $100 on cheap pizza (Little Ceasars $5 medium pizzas) I tried to inform him that she didn't need pizza if she couldn't afford it. She had cake and that was more than enough for a kids party. I also think that DH paid for her son's bicycle that she was giving him for his birthday which is another $100 or more.
She will call him on the weekends because she wants to hang out with him. He will take her and her 4 kids out to eat and sometimes a movie too. I always decline these visits. She isn't coming to my house. She has been banned years ago and I am not going to be miserable in my own home anymore.
We have separate checking accounts so he isn't spending any of my money.
Good thing you disengagef
I agree, it's disgusting. Reminds me of some of the crap SD60 has pulled. I remember the BD parties when her 2 youngest were little and she was separated from her DH. I always brought multiple wrapped gifts and she would maneuver things around so the kids thought the gifts were from her since she had so little $, or to be more truthful, because she had blown her own money on hair extensions, makeup or clothes.
What do you think happens…
When these Narcissistic Adult Leeches lose the only one who'll tolerate their thieving lying deceitful behavior? Truly - what happens to these senior skids???
You got it!
Daisy, it sounds like you have it figured out. I'm sure you have clued DH in as to why you have no desire to accompany him to SD's house. And who could blame you. If she treats her own father like that can you imagine how she would treat you? Oh wait! You banned her so you already KNOW how she would treat you. Tell DH you gave up masochism a while ago. If he wants you to go he needs to do the work so you feel comfortable going.
Stupid is as stupid does.
Stupid is as stupid does. Does he tape a "kick me" sign to his back when he goes to these get togethers? At least you know better than to go along as your H's emotional support pet.
Takers take, and will continue to do so until givers say enough.
Good for you for not
Good for you for not subjecting yourself to any of that. It's really hard to know and to have to watch our DHs allowing themselves to be abused by these manipulators. It must have been really hard to have to bite your tongue when he shared the details of the day with you, especially the "burnt burger part". So pathetic.
I wish they could see what we see...or at least not be in denial about what is really going on.
Door dash
He can order something to be delivered and save himself the time and energy...
Ex SD
My DH has an Ex-SD too. His ex cheated on him & while living with her much younger boyfriend, she became pregnant with his child & then when the boyfriend found out she was pregnant with his child, he dumped her & left town. It was then that she came crawling back to my DH for him to take her back. He did since they had 2 older children together, for the sake of the kids he said. But when his Ex -SD turned 18 months old, he left his ex wife. They had been separated about 18 months when i met him & we started dating. He got his divorce, & we got married. He stayed in touch with the Ex-SD over the years, when he got his kids for a weekend, he picked her up too. He let her grow up calling him dad & all. She is now 44 yrs old & she knows better than to ask him for money or anything, because she is a Drama Queen & has caused drama with us off & on over the years. She is Bipolar with us so she is back & forth with us. She don't come around, so we don't see her, she does call him on the phone every once in a while, not often. He is not close to her, hadn't been since she was little. I have unfriended her on facebook, she is drama on facebook too, just does spiteful stuff. I have 2 stepkids that IS DH's children, ages 47 & 50. The 50 yr old daughter has cut him out of her life a long time ago, The 47 yr old son is the only stepkid that see us & talk to us. We have no issues with him. He loves me & my bio kids that is his half brother & half sister.