First, I'm so sad about his passing. My mom and I love the Monkees' music.

I just read that his wife is 32, while two of his kids are in their 40s, and the others are in their 20s. That must be awkward to have a SM who is younger than you.

BUT...

That doesn't justify treating her like $hit. If she's a piece of crap, as difficult as it may be, you might have to walk away, or just learn that in order to have a relationship with your parent, you might just have to bite your tongue about the things you don't like about their spouse. If this woman truly was an abuser, they might have to walk away, as hard as that might be. Just like a parent would have to walk away, if, after so many times, their kid rejected their offers of help. My stepdad had to walk away from my stepsister for a few years because after so many rejects of offers of help to get out of her abusive situation and relationship. Those years for him were HELL. He was worried as hell about my stepsister and her safety. He didn't know whether she was alive or dead. She thankfully chose to get out of that situation, rebuilt her life and improved her relationship with her dad. It was hell for my stepdad, and for my stepsister. But my point is, she figured out on her own that her BF was a bum, and put his a$$ in prison.