Look.. I get that your partner wants to let their son "save up" for a place of his own.. but at this point.. he is at least 1 YEAR past turning 18.. maybe up till almost two years. I think it's time to talk with your partner about setting some real expectation for when her so will need to be out on his own. Of course it's fun now.. he gets his GF whenever he wants.. someone else provides all he needs to happily survive. He can spend what he earns on whatevery he wants..
But suffering in silence is not working for you. It's not like anyone else is going to magically change if there isn't someone who brings it up.
I would tell your SO that while you appreciate letting the boy stay here to help save... that you feel that the situation is being taken advantage of by the fact that the GF is around so much.. almost living there so to speak. and.. that you really feel like if he is adult enough to have that kind of relationship.. and want a place for someone to sleep over? Maybe he needs to get his own place.. Maybe the two of them could even get their own place together????
This isn't about you not liking him.. it's about the space being too small for so many people and it is no longer a relaxing home for you... and you need for your needs to be taken into account.. like everyone else's are.
I also read your post from last September. I would absolutely draw the line - no sleep overs and limit how often GF comes over for now. In my opinion, your SO's son is old enough and should move out on his own. If he wants to play house, he needs to get his own house. If he always gets his way (GF staying over, etc) and there are no boundaries, then there's no motivation for him to move out on his own. My SS never had his GF stay overnight, but he tried to get that started and I knew if I gave in once, she'd be living with us - he started with asking if she could stay the night once over the weekend. I said no. It pissed my husband off but my SS understood and surprisingly wasn't angry.
Take some steps to take back your home. I would set a move out date for him and set some boundaries for now until that happens. If she ends up pregnant, you might end up supporting all 3 of them and they'll never move out.
ALL THE TIME. I dream of taking a special pill that makes me dwarf in size and then crawl into the closest kleenex box remaining there until the visit is over. I've also imagined stuffing myself into a tiny cubbert and rendering myself into an eternal sleep until they have left. Knowing adult SS & DIL are crossing over from the bowels of hell and sliding into my house actually makes my skin crawl and I get a feeling of extreme anxiety knowing they will bring their pitchforks to prode at me and send laser beams out of their eyes hoping to fry me into particle dust.
I hope that gives you a clear sense of how I feel when they visit.
I feel lack of space without the need of SS having a girlfriend.
There is not one space in the house that I feel it is me. Your SS's girlfriend has obviously overstayed her welcome. Neither one of them pay rent so no she should not be staying like she lives there. I mean, does she help with house chores (funny, i know right)? They want to have their space they should get their own space.
I read your post from last
I read your post from last fall.
Look.. I get that your partner wants to let their son "save up" for a place of his own.. but at this point.. he is at least 1 YEAR past turning 18.. maybe up till almost two years. I think it's time to talk with your partner about setting some real expectation for when her so will need to be out on his own. Of course it's fun now.. he gets his GF whenever he wants.. someone else provides all he needs to happily survive. He can spend what he earns on whatevery he wants..
But suffering in silence is not working for you. It's not like anyone else is going to magically change if there isn't someone who brings it up.
I would tell your SO that while you appreciate letting the boy stay here to help save... that you feel that the situation is being taken advantage of by the fact that the GF is around so much.. almost living there so to speak. and.. that you really feel like if he is adult enough to have that kind of relationship.. and want a place for someone to sleep over? Maybe he needs to get his own place.. Maybe the two of them could even get their own place together????
This isn't about you not liking him.. it's about the space being too small for so many people and it is no longer a relaxing home for you... and you need for your needs to be taken into account.. like everyone else's are.
I also read your post from
I also read your post from last September. I would absolutely draw the line - no sleep overs and limit how often GF comes over for now. In my opinion, your SO's son is old enough and should move out on his own. If he wants to play house, he needs to get his own house. If he always gets his way (GF staying over, etc) and there are no boundaries, then there's no motivation for him to move out on his own. My SS never had his GF stay overnight, but he tried to get that started and I knew if I gave in once, she'd be living with us - he started with asking if she could stay the night once over the weekend. I said no. It pissed my husband off but my SS understood and surprisingly wasn't angry.
Take some steps to take back your home. I would set a move out date for him and set some boundaries for now until that happens. If she ends up pregnant, you might end up supporting all 3 of them and they'll never move out.
Take care of yourself and please keep us posted!
Your house, you make the rules.
Your partner needs clarity that live-in GFs/BFs of SKids are not subject to discussion. It is just no.
ALL THE TIME. I dream of
ALL THE TIME. I dream of taking a special pill that makes me dwarf in size and then crawl into the closest kleenex box remaining there until the visit is over. I've also imagined stuffing myself into a tiny cubbert and rendering myself into an eternal sleep until they have left. Knowing adult SS & DIL are crossing over from the bowels of hell and sliding into my house actually makes my skin crawl and I get a feeling of extreme anxiety knowing they will bring their pitchforks to prode at me and send laser beams out of their eyes hoping to fry me into particle dust.
I hope that gives you a clear sense of how I feel when they visit.
I feel lack of space without
I feel lack of space without the need of SS having a girlfriend.
There is not one space in the house that I feel it is me. Your SS's girlfriend has obviously overstayed her welcome. Neither one of them pay rent so no she should not be staying like she lives there. I mean, does she help with house chores (funny, i know right)? They want to have their space they should get their own space.