Am I just jealous?
Or something more nefarious going on? Here's the setup. My 17 year old daughter is spending 3 weeks across the country at the home of her father's girlfriend. The girlfriend and my ex had an affair while she was with her husband and he with a live in fiancé. It led to the break up of both of their relationships. My ex has tons of money, so they are together mostly traveling the world two weeks a month at five star hotels. She herself has 4 small children and it seems HER ex cares for kids while she carried on a raging affair for years. They are now divorced and I can hear how this woman is alienating her own kids against their father.
My daughter thinks this woman is mother of the year. "Oh she is always home with them....it is dad who visits her. ". I can clearly see from Facebook that is NOT the case.
So DH wants daughter to attend college in this woman's home state almost across the country. Of course now DD wants to attend there as well. I have said nothing against this. So the arrangement was made for DD to spend 3 weeks with this woman doing "an internship." Clearly this woman hardly works and DD has been there a week already and I know she has been just hanging out doing lunch with the girlfriend. Ok, that is cool.
What hurt me deeply was DD's tweet today,..."long stretches of wishing this was my home and short bursts of missing my hometown." Really????? Now I wonder if their is an agenda to alienate me from my daughter. I have to say I have a good relationship with my ex and I am friendly with his girlfriend. I did cringe when her Facebook comment last week was that she was taking my daughter " home with her."
Am I just a jealous mom or could more be going on?
My ex lives near me and his
My ex lives near me and his GF lives across the country. But they are together at least 2 weeks a month.
Her children are very young
Her children are very young so likely she will not move for at least 10 years. I suppose they could break up, but honestly why would she give up five star hotels and traveling the world two weeks a month? Oh and her ex watches the kids whenever she globe trots. I feel bad hearing my DD tell me what an awful father the GF's ex is. She has no idea what a manipulator this woman is. I do try and give a more balanced picture. Like my daughter said he was awful because he forgot to give the kid water bottles for camp! Really? The guy is watching the kids AND pays for full camp all summer.
Wow. I'm not sure what to
Wow. I'm not sure what to make of that.
When I was a young stepmom, I honestly had NO INTEREST whatsoever in taking skids away from BM. My plate was full enough.
I'm sure it's innocent enough.
Ouch...yeah, that must have
Ouch...yeah, that must have hurt. But try and think of it this way...she is in a new place, experiencing new things. It's a vacation! The grass is always greener. You said yourself you have a good relationship with her. I wouldn't bother myself too much with the Lifestyles of the Rich and Slutty too much. It will make you crazy. Just tell her you are glad she's having a good time and you miss her. I'm sure she misses you too.
Oh I would NEVER tell her
Oh I would NEVER tell her that they had an affair. I think she suspects it. Her father was living with his fiancé and the finance's daughter, and the fiancé confronted my DD once, asking when her father was getting engaged again. My DD was in tears. She has been through a lot. She actually was very upset with her father's breakup and initially expressed fear at getting close to current GF. She remains very close with ex fiancé and her daughter. What will really be interesting will be DD's graduation next year. His current GF will be there as will the ex fiancé and her daughter. I would not want to be my ex then!!!
Yes I guess I am jealous. But seeing all the alienation around me with my DH's kids, I worry about that. I don't know this gf at all, or her motives.
I nearly killed my mother
I nearly killed my mother when we pulled into campus for the start of my sophomore year in college and out of my mouth came: "It's so good to be home!"
I'm guessing she's having fun and you really won't know until she's back if there's any PAS. Kids are always flattered and enamored of fancy places and fun people. I'm sure she'd actually be posting the other way around if she had to stay there for a long time.
Your DD gets along with her
Your DD gets along with her SM. Good enough already. Don't read all kinds of weird and wonderful things in her motives because it will only create negativity in your DDs relationship with her stbSM.
(Your daughter probably knows about the affair. If she can calculate, she can do the math on when SM got divorced and when your ex and SM were getting their groove on. I would caution your DD not to be judgmental about how bad a father the ex of SM is. SM and her Dad having an affair is fact, DDs view of the other guy is opinion. Her own dad has a couple of black marks next to his own name if she asked the ex about her own BF.)
Well I think this great kid
Well I think this great kid has been spoiled by her wealthy father and she really doesn't appreciate me. I work in one of the professions, which means years of education, training and loans. I work 45 plus hours per week and at my age, I am tired.
No, I can not do lunch with my daughter or hang out weekdays.
At 6 years old, her father was taking her for mani/pedis.
She has not had a job yet, other than to work for her father, and she complained loudly about that.
Her tweet has really hurt, I feel like good guys DO finish last.
Clearly the GF doesn't have much of a job/career other than to be supported by wealthy men.
Just very hurt......
Well step aside I think the
Well step aside I think the writing is on the wall, no pun intended. She IS closer with her father than me. For Father's Day she posted a few pics of the two of them with the caption, "my number one from day one!" .
I think that if she goes to college out there, I will rarely hear from her.
I do feel guilty about my career. It seems to have come with a high price.