Adult Stepkids . I need advice
I have to deal with 3 Sk.They have never accepted me or my daughter(26).we have never been part of their family.They have always said bad things about us and I am sick of them after 7 years of turning the other cheek. My H had shoulder surgery and his kids would not come to the waiting room and sit with me and my family while my sweet husband had his surgery. Finally SD text me asking how her dad was doing. I wanted to text her back and say if you and your brother wants to know how your dad is come to the waiting room like the rest of us and when the doctor calls then you will know. I wanted to do that so bad but I didnt I text her back and told them what they wanted to know about their dad. I never saw them at the hospital until my H got back to his room and then his kids finally walked in the room about 3 hours after surgery. They never spoke a word to me or my daughter. I spoke to them but they stood at the side of my H bed with their backs turned us. They stood there about an hour and never looked or spoke to us. Here they are acting like devils in front of their dad that just had surgery and he saw how they were acting. Here is what I need to know. My H will be having another surgery in a few months and this time when SK text me asking how is their dad doing I am not going to text them back . I am not going to let them treat me like that. Pissed me off when SD text me and then wouldnt speak in hospital room. Im just sick of them and putting up with them. Last Christmas we went all out buying nice gifts for them like we always do and me and my daughter never gets a thing. Not that we want their gifts but actions speaks louder than words. It hurts for sure. H gets really mad but they dont care at all.In the furture when H has surgery I will throw my phone in the garbage before I tell them anything about their dad. Any advice on this. I think its time to disengage from this mightmare family.
good idea - just turn your
good idea - just turn your phone off. accidentally leave it in the car.
My FDH has 3 young adults-19,
My FDH has 3 young adults-19, 20, and 23. They treat him horribly, and call me all kinds of names. I feel your pain. However, I am not as nice as you. My FDH had surgery last year and one of them texted asking for a cell phone. While my FDH was in surgery. I let "the kid" have it. He still does not get it, but I had had it. I also did something that I never thought I would do-I went into FDH's Facebook and left a note on his wall saying that I would not tolerate anyone giving him grief while he was recovering from surgery. They left us alone as soon as they realized he would be out of work awhile and therefore would have no money. They are sick, nasty creatures.
DO NOT text back when your DH has surgery the next time. Ignore them, do not be bothered! I would stop with the major gift giving, too. They do not appreciate it, and it will only continue to cause you pain.
Thanks everyone for all the
Thanks everyone for all the advice. I will be treating them like they are treating me. I hope someday very soon I will get to tell them how i really feel about them and it wont be sweet and then I am done with them. I have to many family members that love me and respect me.They will be my main focus from now on. Life will be a lot better .Thanks again everyone.
My advice is to disengage.
My advice is to disengage. You have no obligation to them.
Better yet, do what you said
Better yet, do what you said you wanted to do. Text back and say, "if you want to know how your father is, you can start acting like a decent human being and come into the waiting room and wait for the doctor with the rest of the people in here who love him. I am turning my phone off now, since I hear they aren't allowed in hospitals."
Have been in your situation
Have been in your situation and that hospital thing is awful. My husband had prostate cancer and after his surgery his darling offspring sat in his room ignoring me and drinking alcohol out of softdrink bottles. It was a nightmare. If anything happened to DH again I would not tell his kids anything, nothing at all. I would not be turning off my cell phone if I were you though, other people may want to contact you, just don't reply to any texts from stepkids. Let them come in or phone the hospital if they like. One thing I have found out, the longer you put up with this treatment, the longer they will treat you this way. Hope your husband's health improves.
I wouldn't tell these spoiled
I wouldn't tell these spoiled ,inconsiderate idiots anything..he's your husband. you love him and take care of him..tell them to go to hell..and please no more gifts ..be happy..I hope someday I can tell my H's kids what I think of them..especially his rude son..his daughter is bad enough, but at least she would be there for her father..
Delete all texts. These
Delete all texts. These people are irrelevant. Switch DH phone off whilst he is on the ward so he can have peace and a good rest.
Also make sure your daughter
Also make sure your daughter does the same. This sort of person begins to pester the next in line if they can't pester you. Not that she can't handle it, but forewarn her as that will be their next step.
I have made up my mind to
I have made up my mind to stop putting up with them mistreating me and my daughter. I know I will have hell to pay when my DH has surgery again and this time i wont be the push over and answer them when they want to know about their dad. I reaally dont know what has come over me but I am just mad . The SK accused me of telling lies on them even the SDIL's stand by their men.I saw my( what use to be SDIL) out one day and I just walked up to her and said I want to know what lies I have told on yall. She gave me this look like she had been caught.LOL. She couldnt answer me.I said here I am now tell me what I have been saying.I cant wait to hear what you have to say. She started walking away from me saying I dont have to listen to this.As she was walking away I say well you know I havent said anything bad about yall and you cant answer me because there is nothing to tell. She hops in her car and takes off.COWARD.Then SS text me all mad about our one sided conversation with his wife.I told him if he has something.. to say and accuse me of he knows where I live and I would sure love to confront him. He didnt want to confront me either.Well I wonder why they wont confront me. Stupid brats.For 7 years me and my daughter has had to fight this family and we have been left out and called names etc. Now I guess I am in surival mode. Ready to challenge them.I dont give a rip if I hurt their feelings now . When they start trouble with me or my daughter well its on with me.I guess I have just snaped .Funny thing is they can dish it out but they sure cant take it when you try to confront them.Whats the deal with that? Im am done. }:) }:)
First off,i would not even
First off,i would not even respond to the texts,hate that crap !!!
Secondly,they are cruel,rude and self-centered,ignore them .
Good for you that you had the
Good for you that you had the guts to confront them. And you are right, they were too cowardly to discuss this with you face to face. They needed to know you will no longer put up with their crap. Now disengage and leave them alone to wallow in their own juices.
Like all bullies once
Like all bullies once confronted they turn and run. They only attack people they think are weak. Once you stand up to them, they soon back down. That being said, I would do as Sandye says, from now on disengage and leave them alone. But don't take any wooden nickels. I am sure they will come back with a false olive branch, tell them to stick that where the sun don't shine. These people will never want to be your friend, but they do like to stay close to daddy's wallet and have no shame in being hypocritacal if that's what it takes. I am so glad you confronted them, well done.