SS putting biological son in danger
I have a 14 year old SS and a 2 year old Son of my own. Stepson lives with us almost 100% of the time. SS keeps leaving his prescription medication out in the open where my toddler has access. At the end of my rope when I saw he left two sleeping pills on the edge of a piece of furniture within reaching distance. Have talked to him multiple times about safety and responsibility but he is not taking it seriously. Has also left knives, scissors, batteries and other unsafe objects in the open. If I weren't around following my 2 year old all the time, I am extremely fearful something very bad will happen. Husband refuses to give him a real ultimatum to show him the gravity of his actions. What options do I have? I dont feel like I'm being a good mother keeping my son in this environment. We have had years of counseling and law enforcement intervention as my SS has problems with anger and anxiety. Its been a huge strain on our relationship. I dont know what else to do but protect my baby.
Document everything w photos
Document everything w photos and leave.
Thank you. I am considering
Thank you. I am considering this. We actually live in my house legally that I purchased before we were married. I have asked his dad to leave with him and it is met with opposition. I am probably going to need to stay with family.
Consult w a lawyer. You may
Consult w a lawyer. You may have to serve him w eviction papers. Is he on the deed?
He is not on the deed
He is not on the deed
Do not leave. Serve him
Do not leave. Serve him divorce papers and eviction papers at the same time!
You ask him to leave and he says no? Wtf.
Do not heave your home. Rekey
Do not heave your home. Rekey the locks and put them both on the curb. Hand your STBXSO a RO/PO against his teen.
A troubled kid like him
A troubled kid like him shouldn't have access to his medication unsupervised anyway. Your H should be locking it up and giving it to him. That could be a CPS report (that H is letting him have possession of his meds), especially if he's had suicide attempts or ideation.
If it was just the medication
If it was just the medication, I'd tell him he had lost the right to handle his own medications and I would lock them up and dole them out myself. However, it's not just medications - it's other things. And locking up the knives and batteries probably won't work, because if it wasn't the knives and batteries it would probably be something else. There is no reason for a 14 year old to not be cognizant of risks to a toddler and exercise caution. My skids are 5 and 8, and in addition to keeping an eye on their baby sister to make sure she's not getting into trouble, they are very careful to keep their toys and belongings that are choking hazards or otherwise dangerous to a baby in their own rooms, and to keep their doors closed.
I know that I am not attentive enough with my little one to risk having her in a household where things that could be dangerous to her are left lying around. It's nearly impossible to be that vigilant. And I would never forgive myself if something happened to my child due to a skid I knew was careless or worse. My only option in your situation, if I had already tried to get my husband and the SS to be more careful without success, would be to live separately.
You should speak with a lawyer to find out what your rights are and to determine the best way to get your husband and his kid out of your house. If it will take some time, you might want to stay temporarily with relatives until they're out. You will also need to discuss visitation and what kind of documentation and evidence you will ned to try to keep your son away from SS during any visitation.
Take pictures. You have a cell phone
Those pictures should have a date and time on them. Keep them for future court battles. See a lawer get a 30 letter for DH and SS to move out. You have to start someplace
Gather evidence. Pictures.
Gather evidence. Pictures. Notes with date/time and actions/conversations/voice recordings. (Check state laws to see if you do/do not need consent to record before doing so.)
Get an attorney and get divorce papers drawn up - including the evidence of his son's behavior and your husband's lack of parenting. I would wager your "husband" won't want that evidence presented (and recorded for all time) to the court. Perhaps if he agrees to your terms and pays for a new set of paperwork, the unsavory details regarding his psychopath son can be removed.
Get both their worthess asses out of your home and life. Protect yourself and your baby!
I do not know how you feel
I do not know how you feel about your husband, but you should definitely give him an ultimatum. Things need to drastically change for the safety of you and your baby. If this kid has assaulted you and is bigger than you, that would be it for me. If your DH will not listen, then speak to an attorney about getting them out of your house. Do not leave them in it alone unless the attorney says it is okay. You do not want to give him a reason to stake claim (anymore than he already has).