You are here

SS and education

random169's picture

My SS11 lives with me 24/7 365. He has some learning disabilities and is in a special program. I wouldn't let them railroad my wife and tell her what he needed to do and I am aware of alot of educational rights. They got mad. I have been at all his IEP's I'm on his emergency paperwork ect.....Bio dad not in the picture just her and me. (thats a whole other blog) My wife is starting a new job and asked that the school call me with a problem he was having. They refused because I'm not his legal guardian even with wifes request. How they gonna block me out then try to use my income to determine his college financial aid? (SMH)

Orange County Ca's picture

Last time I went through financial aid and had I been married I think my income would have counted.

You're not going to be able to fight city hall as the saying goes.

Between you and me (ex-stepfather of two girls and bio-father of two boys) I'd be happy to stay away from all this legal stuff when it comes to a step-kid. Mommy is a phone call away and almost always problems will wait until she's on a break or lunch. Let her do the legal stuff while you advise and take care of more mundane stuff like transportation.

Don't be thinking of adopting or you could end up being the one paying child support for this kid. I know - trust me.

random169's picture

Iep in place. Had some resistance from school.therapist who.doesn't approve of our same sex marriage.
My wife ass designated me as a participator. They just won't call me. I'm home more and it's easier for me to deal than my wife.

Shaman29's picture

Grrrrr...that just fries my ass. There is a kid in need of help, which you're willing to offer. However someone at the school has their self-righteous panties in a twist over the fact you're in a same sex marriage?

What the hell are they teaching here? Advanced Anti-Diversity 101?

Do you have a friend that's an attorney? If so, I would have them write a letter on behalf of you and your wife, stating you both will take legal action and make the situation VERY public if they do not comply.

random169's picture

I agree. The therapist made our kid really uncomfortable when he was talking about his moms. She made a face and he asked to stop seeing her. It was a fight with the school. Luckily his IEP says he needs to meet with psychologist and we could circumvent therapist.

Maxwell09's picture

Your situation is unfortunate. I feel sorry for you, your partner and child. You have to deal with a whole different boat of struggles not only as a step parent--which has more than almost any sane person can bare--plus discrimination. Be strong.

derb84123's picture

this is ridiculous and probably completely based on your relationship. I am a full time stepmother, where biomom still has legal rights, and the school calls me usually before my husband. They know my job is more flexible, and my profession is really aligned with the schools. So IMO its bc of your relationship--- my advice? Well your wife could go to the school and cause a huge scene about their bigotry and how it is affecting your SS, or she could take a calmer approach and the two of you meet with the administration and have a serious conversation about your involvement. Or you could also get a lawyer involved. Do you have legal access to his information? No. But if she is requesting that you be included, they should. Its similar to kids who live with say grandma and mother, gma is often included in the educational decisions.

Sorry you are having to deal with this- in the end its only your ss who is suffering. I hate that.