BM is NOT allowed in my house! Period! It would have to take a court order and police supervision before I'd let her step foot inside our home. Unless she is paying the mortgage payment and her name is on the deed, she's on the outside looking in. If your DH's ex thinks your home is so bad, let her call CPS and let them come take a look. She'll look like the fool.

I have never heard of such a thing here in my state but those things go based on each states guidelines. Even if the law allowed her to inspect the house are you sure that it means "her" and not someone outlined by the court.

Heads up on this topic in my custody case involving my 4 bio kids their father "purchased" a psy. evaluation because he did not like the evaluation done by the court ordered therapist or the one done by the family therapist. This is how that "expert" described our home.

"the home a bit messy and cramped because of some major remodeling, but homey yet unplesant. There is a large hole in the wall and there are what appear to be garbage around the yard, creating an unsafe enviroment for the children. BM claims that the home will contain 4 additional bedrooms a living room, bathroom and large walk in closet area. She is clearly providing misleading information in an attempt to gain approval during this evaulation" "There are windows of the home that are out and there are numorous animals being allowed to run around".

Thank goodness the GAL had visited the home the evening before and I had also taken pictures of the house just prior to the "hired gun" coming to the house with our insurance agent so that we were covered for the new construction.

In reality the evaluator told the truth but this is the GAL version:
large hole in the wall = walk through from old portion of the home into the new living room.
garbage in the yard = rafters for the new portion of the house, roofing materials and all of the interior building supplies that had just been dropped off by menards that week.
misleading information = evaluator was told by myself and sf that it was not safe at that point to walk through that area of the home because they were putting up the roof.
windows out = Myself and sf were replacing some of the old portion of the home's windows, something that we can do ourselves. Had begun on the work prior to him arriving and finished after he left.
animals running around = our family pet an english bulldog had puppies just over a month prior and the kids wanted to show this man the new puppies and I allowed them to bring the mother dog and puppies into the house from the garage to show him, after they were shown they were taken out and any messes were cleaned up.

As for the Messy comment, I have no idea what the concern was. The dishes were done and the only thing on the counter in the insurance pictures were just a few boxes of snack boxes along with some cans of pop along with juice boxes. the floor was spotless, windows that were in were new so they were clean.

He was just an ass. You can make anything sound bad and why would you even allow the other parent to make the decision about suitable housing that is the job of county social services and coming from a person who worked in the social services child protection unit for 3 years it is very difficult to get a child removed for a dirty house. And trust me some of those homes are horrible - worse than the shows on the hording show.

Ok so if she gets to inspect your house, does dh get to inspect hers? oh wait ..noooo.. cuz she didnt give you the address..hmmm..
self rightous bm wanted to do the same here, had more of a feeling she just wanted to see what we had.. so instead of coming in she questioned kids on things we have.. now she wants her $3800 in arrears dropped and said that the $50 she pays a wk means more to her than to us.. its not the point, its the principal of it all.. you had them you support them even if it is $25 a wk per child.
I dont think a judge will allow her to inspect you home, or anyone else for that matter unless it is shown that you consistantly neglect the child.. no bed, dog shit on the kitchen table, no running water, no heat.. in that case child and youth services would come and inspect..
yep yep sweetie, see you in court.. let thejudge knock her off her high horse!

No BM can just demand a home inspection to be done by her. If that were the case, the family court system would be a disaster. If she wants a home inspection she needs to make a formal request to the courts, if they grant her request the court assigns their own home inspectors to come out and look at the home. She is not present when this happens. We are going through the same thing in NJ and the home inspector is really nice. He told us not to worry and he has seen some pretty horrendous stuff, so unless we live in a barn with a dirt floor and no electricity, we will be fine. Don't sweat her. I have noticed that she throws anything at us she can just to upset us. We have learned that tuning her out works best. Don't let her get to you. She is just a mentally ill person whom you, unfortunately, have to deal with until the skid reaches 18.

Ask the lawyer for a citation on that law. That's the exact paragraph in the exact law book that states that it is so. If it is the law then comply. Most likely they'll "get back to you on that".