When I was 36, I married a man 7 years older with 3 kids (boy 18, girl 17 and boy 12). It was a horrible mistake then, and now, 22 years later, it's a nightmare.

In the beginning, I was naïve, assumed too much, and tried to be neutral with the kids, leaving all discipline and decisions regarding them to my new husband. Even so, the oldest has been hostile and rude since day one, creating a huge sore spot in our marriage, because my husband never steps in to defend me and correct his son. I had hoped to have at least one baby of my own, but it was impossible to consider when this hostile SS lived with us for the next 5 years.

Nearly all the fights my husband and I have had revolve around that oldest stepson. (My relationship is fine with the 2 younger kids.)

I've been only partially employed during this marriage, though I made enough to buy the lot our house was built on ($34,000) and invested all of my inheritance in the household when my parents died 10 years ago ($110,000). I worked more than fulltime hours for most of the 22 years, but much of it was unpaid volunteer community work, because I thought my husband supported this effort and I thought he agreed that he made enough for the 2 of us. I also tried to build an online business in the early 2000's, but was stopped by a bout with breast cancer and a bad concussion, followed by a hip replacement and depression over the past 5 years.

The medical bills created new financial pressures and problems for my husband, and he's had to work an extra year beyond his planned retirement (he'll be 66 in 5 months). Years ago, I invested too much in my start-up inventory (right before the 2008 crash, of course), which my husband resents. I gave up volunteer work 4 years ago and have been trying to gear-up to restart my online business, but it's harder now. Meanwhile, I've been trying another seasonal home-based fundraising project for the last few years, but have made too little money for a lot of work.

I've been pretty miserable, but a few days ago everything got much worse. I discovered that my husband has been secretly diverting tens of thousands of dollars from his savings, work bonuses, inheritance and pension accounts to his kids (and now grandkids, too).

I only first discovered it because he took himself to the emergency ward a few weeks ago with chest pains, and ended up getting 2 stents placed in blocked heart arteries. I've been trying to help reduce his burdens every way possible, so I started gathering all the year-end reports and receipts for 2013, so he'd have less work doing our taxes. That's when I discovered the hastily filed receipts for certified checks for $2,500.00 he'd written for each of his 3 kids on the same day he went to the hospital. Then ... I found similar checks to the kids for the same amount last summer. I’ve begun digging into a lot of mysterious investment accounts and other records that raise even more questions.

I feel sick wondering how much more there could be.

The last few years he's complained bitterly about barely being able to pay bills, saying I've ruined his life. Now it appears he's decided to strip me of as many retirement sources as he can without my knowledge ... to bypass me in his will and start his kids' inheritance early.

Can he do this legally? I'm terrified. I never dreamed it would end like this. He was a jerk when it came to his son, but I still trusted him and believed he was basically decent.