We had a similar problem with our BM. She was claiming the kids lived with her full time and getting food stamps and other benefits (she has never ben the custodial parent). We only found out about it because in our state it automatically signs the kids up for free lunch at school. At first we reported it to the school and they did nothing. The next year we went to DSS with a copy of the custody order and talked to the fraud investigator. We think she got kicked out of her govt housing and maybe had to pay the money back but no charges or anything were filed. This school year, same thing AGAIN. But the letter about free lunch came addressed to me WTF! I'm the SM! This time we got our lawyer involved and he called a friend of his at DSS and we are still waiting to hear the outcome.

She's not going to have her parental rights terminated for fraudently collecting WIC. Even if she defrauds public assistance, the penalty for the first time offense is not being eligable for benefits for a period of 1-2 years, and possibly having to pay back any benefits she recieved.

If she is caught defrauding WIC, she will most likely be made ineligable for the program for a term, and ordered to repay benefits she used. You are not going to get in any trouble with WIC, although, in my opinion, it is VERY WRONG for you to turn a blind eye while someone takes advantage of a program fraudulently. You should absolutely report it.

However, if you don't have something in writing, such as a court order, be aware that it is your word against hers.

Yes you report her. And your BF should immediately file for emergency custody on the grounds of child abandonment and request immediate CS from BM retroactive to the date she dumped the kids off on WombGrandPa and WombGrandMa.

We learned very early in our blended family adventure that the only way to protect our son's (my SS) best interests were to smack the shit out of the SpermIdiot and the SpermClan every time they even thought about violating the Court Order. They eventually learned that every time they went whining to the court about how much the were paying in CS or how hard it was to raise the SpermIdiot's younger three also out-of-wedlock spawn the their CS went up.

Eventually all we had to do was roll the CO up and smack them about the head with it and they crawled back under their multi-generational entitlement mentality rock. Giving them basic reading lessons from the CO was always fun for us and demeaning to them. Which is exactly what I was shooting for.

If they got particularly lippy all we had to do was mention going back to court and they would shut the hell up.

Learn to enjoy beating the snot out of the blended family opposition with the CO and in court if you have to.

It sure beats having to cater to their idiot asses.

Best regards,

My thoughts on this are that if she is taking the WIC and using it for herself she is quite literally stealing food from the mouth of another child or her own child. She is also stealing from every person paying taxes - the money from these programs does not magically appear on the money tree in the back yard it comes from the tax payers. Report her not because you are afraid it could somehow bite you or her in the ass but do it because what she is doing is wrong on so many levels. Unfortunately this is not a case of just one person doing this you know this is being done by hundreds of thousands of people all over the country - if it was just one person doing it the financial stress would be nothing but when it is hundreds of thousands of people that money adds up.

I know you feel she should be in the life of your SS but I am not quite sure why - she dumped him on her parents - she steals from the government, she wants really nothing to do with her child I don't see this woman as being a positive influence in your SS's life and I know all the arguments about how children really need their BP's but I have to say sometimes I think they are better off not having too much contact with someone who has so little regard for anyone but themselves - then we wonder why when we force these parents to try and parent that their child starts to become like said birth parent - if you are a teenager and you have a parent that is responsible and works hard and abides by the law and is respectful to others and is not selfish and then your other parent does not work lives off the system, parties all the time, makes sure they have everything they as the parent want and need, respects nothing which parent do you think the teenager wants to be like of course the one that seems to have the fun and easy life not like the parent who gets up each morning and goes to work, who makes the kids do chores and have the homework done and wants to know where they are and holds them accountable.

People who are responsible did not suddenly wake up one day and say hey you know what I think today I am going to become responsible, respect others, become hard working, be honest and become a working member of society no these people were taught this by their parents who were responsible - I am not quite sure how parents today who coddle and let their children get away with everything because they are children of divorce think that their children are going to end up being responsible adults - it cracks me up when people say I am a hard worker and I really try to be a good human being but I don't know what happened to my child he/she are lazy, nasty to others and are so selfish well usually it is because the child was allowed by his parents to be that way - most people think well my example of being a good and responsible human being should be enough but if we do not reinforce that and make our child act the way we want them to then all of our actions say nothing unless we back them up with making the children be accountable for their own actions.

Failure to report a crime? I don't want to have any part of that. I am not going to participate in breaking the law for BM. You don't want BM to find out it was you who turned her in, but I'd be more worried about the WIC program finding out that you knew about it and didn't report it. Is it likely that they will find out - no. Is it possible - yes. If they did find out - what are the chances you'd be implicated? Low. Still, I'm not taking any chances just to help out a shitty BM. I'd consider it my civic duty to do what I could to prevent this kind of fraud. Our BM did the same thing - claiming the children on WIC when we had legal custody. As soon as we found out I badgered DH to call WIC and let them know we had custody. Even sent a copy of the CO. Nothing ever happened to her (as far as we know) but she was stealing from me - a taxpayer. I'm paying to raise her children and she's stealing from me? Not on my watch.

I think the bigger issue here is CS. You are paying it but for all intents and purposes she DOES NOT have custody. Why can't you go for it? Even if he stays with GPs while you work, just like millions of other kids.

I would turn her in and go back to court about the CS. If everyone just sits by and lets these people defraud the govt, then they are just as guilty as the ones doing the defrauding.

We turned BM in just yesterday for stealing food stamps. DH's business is doing terribly right now, and we went to apply. Low and behold, she has been getting food stamps for herself, her husband, her 4 kids, and his 2 kids. We looked up income guidelines and he makes about $900 more than that household size. But what's worse, NEITHER OF THEM have custody of the kids! We have the 4 from BM and DH, and her husband's ex wife has custody of the other 2!!

So, hell yeah we turned them in. And provided all the evidence they needed. Because of them, we won't be able to get much needed assistance for at least 2 months.

They are stealing food from 6 kids. And talking about their 'gourmet meals' and how they always have 4 different kinds of milk in the fridge and 6 different kinds of chips and salsas opened--on a freakin video they posted online. So not only are they stealing food from their kids mouths, they are gloating about it online. Bitches. Both of them.

Our problem was our BM was obtaining food stamps through two different states using the same social security number but with two different names (using my step-son's fathers last name in one state and using her maiden name in another.) To make matters worse she didn't even have physical custody of her son nor did she even attempt to visit him either. We received a letter in detail about it because my husband had just received full custody of him. We turned the letter into our local DFCS office but nothing was done. Someone within the office knows my step-son's mother and did nothing about the situation. This isn't the first time she's dismissed information we have submitted about the BM. We would have taken it higher up but all the evidence we had for it we have already turned in.

go in for custody, you can do it thru the family courts in your area. It is a PITA with the lingo, you have to submit your evidence to the judge and to her tho so be prepared for that.. our experience anyway..