You are here

Who claims kids.. HELP ME PLEASE

Monica's picture
Forums: 

Ok, I am so mad. That's not even the right word. The word is freaking LIVID.

History...

I was married 5 years ago to a manipulative liar/cheater. He began cheating on me while I was pregnant with first daughter. I found out. I gave up... he kept doing it and didnt hide it. I left him after baby was born, was gone for a year.

Somehow, dont ask me, he talked me into coming back. I got pregnant again and he moved his girlfriend (same girl) into my house with us, I had no say. Lovely hmmm? After baby was born I left again.

He was married before me and had 2 kids with her as well. He owes her ALOT of money in back child support and it comes from his check every week.

We are currently going though a divorce. We've been seperated 10 months now. He signed an agreement saying that he would not contest the divorce papers he was served with that MY lawyer drew up. (He is unrepresented but claims to have a "lawyer friend" looking into things for free)
Now that he has the paperwork he has found every excuse for the last 3 months why he cant sign them. HE IS FREAKING ENGAGED TO THAT BITCH AND HE STILL WONT SIGN.

Anyhow.... first it was that he didnt agree with having to have a life insurance policy on my two girls because he already has to have one on his other 2 kids from first marriage.
Then, it was that he didnt feel he should have to pay me child support if he works overtime or gets bonuses.
NOW... son of a bitch. Now he wont sign because he says he should be able to claim the kids on his taxes at the end of the year since I claim them DURING the year. Well, excuse me mister see your god damn kids twice a month and dont pay for a MF thing!!!! I pay for EVERYTHING. When they go to doctor, i pay co-pay, i pay medicine... ALL OF IT.
But that was another thing, he HAD TO HAVE joint custody. Yea, so he can control me.
So, point of this... the reason he wants to claim them and get that hefty tax check is because since he owes arreages to ex-wife #1, the government will send that tax check straight to her, to pay it off. Which means he gets off quicker, his payments go down, he has more money for new wife and new kids (she has 3, one of them his, fucker has 8 kids now and takes care of only the ones in his house) and his 2nd set of kids have to pay for his 1st set of kids child support. Anyone want to tell me WTF????!!!!

I can't afford to fight him. I have no freaking money to pay any more to my lawyer, and he knows it. Its either he doesnt sign and I'm stuck married to his sorry ass (which FH is getting pretty tired of) or I give in to what he wants and basically get it right up the ass.

UGHHHHHHHHHH what the hell do I do???!

sparky's picture

If the kds are living with you then you don't need his permission to claim them on the taxes. The IRS accepts the return they receive first where the dependent children are concerned. Unless he has an agreement with you in writing he can't claim the kds unless you sign the release form. As soon as you get the W2 rush to H&R Block. If you have low income you will probably qualify for EIC which means that you will get a big return. Don't delay. He does not have a leg to stand on as far as contesting it is concerned.

Monica's picture

I do have low income, and that's why he wants the return... he does too, but he has 2 live-ins(his fiance, and their room mate/slave) so that means 3 incomes to split the household bills. I pay for everything for me and the 2 kids on my own, besides for his measley 60 a week in child support, which he told me he wants lowered as well.

He wants that EIC to pay for his back child support to other kids.
thank you for responding... I'm starting to be able to breath again

"It's always darkest before it turns absolutely pitch black."
- Paul Newman

Judy L's picture

They will pay for the first returned filed, so do yours quick, after that, he can contest it if he wants to. Regardless if its joint custody, the person who physically has the kids more than half the year is the one that can legally claim them on their taxes. Also, if you've been claiming your two kids all year, but when you file you don't claim them, you will end up owing the IRS money. The ex did this. There was a big blowout b/c F had the kids majority of the year. We had school and daycare records to prove this. She continued to claim the kids on her W-2 even though they were with F, and when F told her that he was claiming 2, she freaked because she would have to owe a crapload. Needless to say, he gave in, and they agreed to that he will get them this year. This is in writing.

need2vent's picture

Monica , have you filed for state help, such as food stamps, also at this time of your life , ahve you considered school, I bet you could get grantrs to cover child care, etc. My cousin did that and it has helped a lot!!
"We don't understand life anymore at 40 then at 20, but we know it and admit it" Jules Renard

Monica's picture

I get food stamps, but not alot because I guess I make too much even though I can't live on it. I mean, $11 an hour for me and 2 young kids. I also get help with day care, which helps alooooot.

I can't go back to school though because I have no one to help me with the kids at night and FH usually works nights too, and I cant quit my day job... so I'm stuck... I would love to tho, I've looked into it many times before.

Thanks for the advice Smile
"It's always darkest before it turns absolutely pitch black."
- Paul Newman

TheSaneOne's picture

giRL - DO WHAT I DID - you have the control now, don't give up. period. refuse to give in. where there is a will there is a way
say NO, not no but HELL no. don't rush to divorce this guy to marry the next, if he's the one, time will work in your favor, if you give it up now, it's hard ot get it back. eventually, he will want to re-marry or move on. file a pendente lite and get temporary support, bet he signs those papers then.

steppie1999's picture

Don't know what state you live in, but some states have default divorce and after a certain amount of time, the divorce is final without his signature.
Also, check divorce laws in your state for joint parenting/claiming children on taxes. Sounds like you may be able to prove to a judge that it would be in your children's best interest financially for YOU to claim kids on taxes every year.
I knew my son's bio dad well enough when I divorced him that I had a clause added to my divorce papers....We're supposed to alternate years claiming our son at tax time BUT....if he's more than 4 weeks behind on his child support during the tax year he's supposed to get to claim our son....he's out of luck and I get to claim him.
So far (in 11 years I have ALWAYS claimed son on my taxes because he's NEVER caught up on his child support.

smurfy1smile's picture

My ex has to be paid in full for the year on the 31st of December to claim our daughter any year. Out of the 7 tax years so far he has only claimed her twice. 2005 owed a couple hundred dollars, 2006 owed 37 plus dollars, 2007 12 plus dollars. I haven't claimed her the past 2 years cause I have 2 older children I claim and her exemption would not have done anything for me. BD wanted to claim her in 2006 and when he found out he was behind - they get statements every month showing what is owed - he freaked out and threatened to take me back to court. He talked to child support and was told he has the statement so he knew he was behind. Same will happen this year.

Sorry to say this but if he was nicer to me and used more of his parenting time and didn't cancel so much I would have let him claim her anyway. Her exemption, the 2 years he claimed her, only gave him about a hundred bucks more of a refund. I have copies of his taxes from child support hearing where he had to provide copies of his income.