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Summer visitation?

DazedandConfused19's picture

Submitted by DazedandConfused19 on Wed, 07/12/2017 - 9:56am

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Family Court

I am needing ideas for a summer visitation schedule for SD 13. My husband is the custodial parent, has been since SD was 4. SD's mom lives about an hour away and gets visitation every other weekend, spring break, and one week at Christmas. The current summer visitation schedule is BM gets two 16 day periods with the every other weekend visits ceasing from June 1-August 1. SD is very unhappy with the current summer arrangements. BM does not allow SD to see friends while in her care and SD is pretty much stuck in the house the whole time. SD wants to visit her mom but she feels that 16 days is too long. I am looking for suggestions, what type of summer visitation schedule is in place for others who are in this type of situation?

Acratopotes's picture

Submitted by Acratopotes on Wed, 07/12/2017 - 10:05am

Humm.. SD is 13 obviously she wants to be where she's allowed to hang around with friends in malls and enjoy live.
but she can't decide, she's a child. I would simply tell her NO... sometimes we all have to do what we do not like, such is life

DazedandConfused19's picture

Submitted by DazedandConfused19 on Wed, 07/12/2017 - 10:10am

We have had numerous conversations with BM and have gotten nowhere. BM works all night and sleeps all day and doesn't spend much time with SD while she is there. The current summer schedule was BMs idea.

DazedandConfused19's picture

Submitted by DazedandConfused19 on Wed, 07/12/2017 - 10:13am

I should also add that SD has athletic events during the summer as well, only a couple of days a week, no more than 3 hours each day. BM complains about having to take her, even though she is never required to take her to anything else all year long, we do all of that. BM thinks that none of SD's activities should occur during her time, which is impossible.

Maxwell09's picture

Submitted by Maxwell09 on Wed, 07/12/2017 - 2:44pm

It's not up to the 16 year old, follow the court order. If the situation was reversed (and there are plenty here who deal with this) you wouldn't want BM letting the kid skip visitation with her dad just because she can't see her friends. Stop trying to fix a problem that shouldn't exist-and it shouldn't exist because your SO should have told his daughter visitation isn't up for negotiation until 18.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Thu, 07/13/2017 - 5:35pm

Our visitation schedule was long distance for the entire 16+ years we lived under a CO. The NCP got 5wks in the summer ..... if he chose to take it which was not a sure thing.

SS never balked at any visitation so your situation is not one we have dealt with.

It may be time to get back to court for an adjustment of the summer visitation since SD is a teen. The supplemental County rules in the jurisdiction where our CO was issued were clear that for teens both parents were to be aware and supportive of teens wanting to spend time with friends and should work with the teen to accommodate their desires and adjust visitation accordingly.....within reason.

Check your jurisdiction for supplemental rules to see if there is anything you can leverage to help work through this. Don't violate the CO though. Take the steps to get an amended CO rather than violate.