Stepsiblings sharing triple bunk bed
I live in CA. I am a BM to a 7 year old son and I have two SD's. My sons BF has him every other weekend and weds and we have the girls 50/50 on a 3-2-2 schedule. We have a two bedroom apartment and they share a relatively small bedroom with a bunk bed with a nice trundle underneath. It's been this way for 3 years now, but we want to move soon so my son can have his own room because they are not related and different genders and getting older.
In 2012, my ex and I went to court to modify custody and he threatened to take temporary full custody until I could provide suitable sleeping arrangements. The kids are still very immature but I was wondering if he would have a case if this came up again? It didn't happen in 2012 because we ended up settling luckily. I'm a great mother, I've taken him to all of his dr appts, dentist appts, teacher conferences, his dad never shows up to anything but he sure loves his visitation.
Thoughts?
^^^ I know, right? I grew up
^^^ I know, right? I grew up with three younger brothers, the four of us shared a room with two sets of bunk beds. I asked to be put in with them at age 9, and stayed til age 12. And the paradox? I was safer in that room than sharing with grandma, where cousin had spent two years abusing me.
I do not believe that there
I do not believe that there is significant risk that your XH can take custody on this issue.
We had to smack my SS's Bio Dad on a similar issue when SS was young (~4yo) during visitations. The visitation schedule was for a long distance situation in our case and SS visited Bio Dad's clan for 7 weeks per year. (5Wks summer, 1Wk winter, 1Wk spring). Bio Dad had a rotating door of GFs most with multiple kids not related to Bio Dad. We found out that SS was sleeping on the floor at Bio Dad's house during visitation while the GF's children were getting bedrooms and beds. We had to threaten court to stop visitation if he did not rectify the situation. We had our attorny send a letter. They bought a fold out couch for SS to sleep on immediately upon receiving the letter.
We did not push the bedroom issue. To me at the younger ages multiple kids sleeping in a room is nto an issue if they have adequate beds.
IMHO of course.
Good luck.
Sorry my SD's are 11 and 8.
Sorry my SD's are 11 and 8. Thanks for your advice. Our situation isn't ideal. They don't hate it but he really does need his own room. I don't want his dad to have anything to hold over me in court and once this situation is resolved, he really won't have anything!!! Really great point though, I never realized that it was possible the reason we both settled was because his lawyer knew his chances weren't good!!! Probably after the lawyer saw me and saw that I wasn't a total slob and I came in clean and professional, she probably advised him to settle based on that and other facts of the case. Plus I think lawyers always think it's better to come to an agreement out of court if possible.
There is no law regarding
There is no law regarding this (there is for foster kids) but it doesn't require a law for a judge to make it so. If the judge thinks they shouldn't share a room because either parent is against it, he can rule that it be changed. Judges order all kinds of things that are crazy (though I don't think these kids should be sharing a room).
My mother grew up sharing a
My mother grew up sharing a room with two sisters.
What is the crime in that besides poverty. Maybe he should pay more.
Do think it is good idea for opposite sex step siblings to have separate rooms. It is for your sons protection too. Privacy for teens is important.
Good luck - don't think there is a reason to go to court here.