Stepmom losing her cool
I will try to make this as short as possible.
in 2004 my husband tracked down his ex wife who he has a son with. He explained to her that he wanted to be a part of jr's life. the conversation didn't go so well as she told him that she wanted him to relinquish his rights so her future husband could adopt him. My husband refused. Shortly after we received a restraining order, documents to modify visitation, and a support modification order. Because my husbnd is in another state (GA) due to being in the military the judge pretty much through out the restraining order as she could not provide proof of harrassment. Secondly my husband was in the process of being deployed so everything had to be done without him present to defend himself. Our lawyer at the time managed to get my husband phone visitation 3 times a week and face to face visitation at both of their convienence. It has been 3 years and we are no close to a resolution. Right now my stepson has migo phone but doesn't have it charged all the time (this according to his mother). we are only able to go to NY once a year due to finances and availability (remember he's in the army) so a few months ago we brought up the idea to have jr over to our home as long as my husband flies to NY and back to GA with him. She agreed as long as the next visit was to go smoothly. We were suppose to go and visit on the 20th of April but my husband could not get ample time away so we decided to leave the weekend that he had a four day. We both tried to call her to notify her of the change but her home phone was disconnected (she does not want us to have her cell phone) and when we finally reached Jr on his cell phone he would not give his mom the phone and he hung up several times. (he's only 7 years old by the way). This is not the only time that we have made plans to visit and she has not cooperated. In February my husband and I paid for the hotel, food, and activities for them to meet us half in Cincinnati and she backed out. The money could not be refunded.
This woman has every excuse in the world as to why she can't meet us half way or allow Jr. to travel to GA. We explained to her that financially it is cheaper to have him here with us during the summer instead of us traveling to NY for only 2 days. Now she's getting ready to move out of state for law school and hasn't notified my husband about it at all. I know this because she we have a mutual friend on myspace who told me. I understand that we can take her back to court but it's extremely costly and right now we just can't afford it. Any ideas on how we can get legal assistance? Any info will be greatly appreciated.
Just some tid bits..
Well lets see, I am an ARMY wife, have my associates degree in paralegal studies, and have gone through long distance visitation with my x husband. So I know a bit about this...I am not an attorney and can't give you legal advice but one step mom to another I can tell you what I would be able to do in your situation..
The part of the court order that says "visitation will take place at both of their convience" (often stipulated in the court order as "reasonable rights to visitation") is a professional and legal way of saying "when the mom decides its reasonable and at her convience"..So she is, right now, well with in her legal rights to pull the nonsence she is pulling with the visitation issue. She can simply tell the judge that "the visitation request wasn't reasonable to her"..
Do you know when she is planning to move out of state?? Because she, legally, only has to inform your DH 30 days before the planned move in the form of a stipulation notification..Yep, that's it..30 days before hand..
I only had to notify my ex husband of our intention to move with my daughter to GErmany for four years 30 days prior to our departure date..
If she doesn't LEGALLY notify DH before she moves then you have some legal standing and she can find herself in a bit some legal trouble. But, I can tell you that their is no judge on the planet that is going to stop his mother from moving to another state with him so she can attend law school..A judge can however make a set in stone visitation schedule..(Which I know is difficult with military deployments and all that goes on with the ARMY life.)
With the accomodations in Feburary that were not refunded..If DH has been paying child support for his child..I would suggest filing a civil suit against her for at least half the refund of the money spent on the hotel and activities fees. (The judge won't give you anything for food)..
Have you gone to JAG on your local army post?? JAG can help you with filing out paper work, court costs and fees, and help you with research of the laws in your particular state and as they apply to the unique struggles military parents face...You would be suprised to find how much you can do WITH OUT needing an attorney...