Partner and I were arguing over SS
I've been with my partner for 3 years and for the past 2 years i really don't get along with his son who is 9 going to be 10 in October. He has 50/50 custody with BM and my partner doesn't like my treatment of his son. All i have tried to do is discipline him or try to teach him things. For awhile it would get to the point where i would yell at SS all the time because he was always doing something to piss me off. I now realize that i have postpartum depression and need to get some medication to even out my moods. I have never physically abused him, but i have yelled at him a lot in the past or i am constantly on him because he says "i forgot" a lot, and the child is very needy and always wants attention from his dad or anyone who is nice to him. I believe he has ADHD, but he hasn't been properly diagnosed by a doctor. I have tried helping SS with his homework because his father would leave the house a lot to go outside to smoke or to "think", that's what he says he does out there. His son would sit at the table and just wait and wait for his father to come back in from outside, so a lot of the times i would help SS with his homework. I got to the point where i couldn't help him with his homework because every time i tried to explain something to him he wouldn't get it and i would get frustrated and start snapping at him. So i told his father that HE has to be the one to help his son with his homework.
My partner is not a people person, or so he says, and he tends to get into his own head and a lot of the time zones everyone out, including his son and sometimes our 17 month old daughter. I am 9 months pregnant with my second daughter and will be delivering soon. My partner stated to me that he will be coming into some money from an inheritance and that he wants to buy a townhouse. He said that if his son and i continue to not get a long that him and i will go our separate ways and he will file for custody of my 17 month old daughter and that i can have custody of my daughter i am pregnant with now. He said he will win and i don't see how he could have full custody of our 17 month old. I don't trust him to take better care of her than i can because he drinks a lot and smokes a lot. He told me that once he comes into that money that he will stop the drinking and smoking. I told him once i deliver our second daughter that i will be going on some kind of antidepressant to help stable out my moods and where i won't be snapping at people, but i still feel that i won't like his son any better than what i feel now. I told him that unless he can show that i am unstable or that i abuse my children, the courts will not give him full custody of our 17 month old to him. They usually go with the mother. I would have to live with my mother, she lives in a 2 bedroom house and she stated to me that if i had to live with her she would let me have her room with the girls. It is an older house, but if i was forced to move in with her i would make sure it's safe for my daughters and properly baby proofed.
I just need some advice on this issue
I am not on antidepressants
I am not on antidepressants yet, but once i go on them if my doctor feels i need counseling then i will do that as well. No i don't think it's right for him to threaten me especially since i am pregnant and don't need that extra stress on my mind. I think it was just him talking crap because he was drinking, he will talk all kinds of crap to me when he drinks, then the next day acts like nothing ever happened. I figured that he wouldn't get full custody of my daughters, i just needed someone else to let me know that it wouldn't happen.
I know this post was awhile
:O I know this post was awhile ago but you need to simply prepare yourself now and get on your feet. What are you waiting for. It almost seems that it is going to come anyhow by merely the constant threats of splitting. At a minimum you should be preparing yourself to stand on your own two feet, put some money away even if it is change, and quit giving him advice on how to win his case
(I told him that unless he can show that i am unstable or that i abuse my children, the courts will not give him full custody of our 17 month old to him. They usually go with the mother.)
Unstable could be the fact that you are PPD... so quickly do what you need to do in order to regain your confidence and independence. Always good to have if you ever decide to split.
Kim
Of course you argue with your
Of course you argue with your SO over the Skid. My bride and I fought about 2 things while our son (my SS) was a minor. 1. The Sperm Clan. 2. House work.
We have been empty nesters for 3+ years since SS aged out from under the CO and joined the USAF. No more aguing about the Skid/Sperm Clan. He is a young man of character and we are proud of him.
Since we moved internationally for my work my bride has pretty much retired from her own successful career as a CPA. She has much more time to do housework and I have more energy to help. Pretty much this issue is as minimized as it is going to get unless I just start being Mr. home improvement house cleaning guy. And that ain't happenin. }:)
The Skid as a specific topic of arguement was rare. However, we did have a few disagreements about parenting and discipline.
Generally we were in agreement but when she took exception to my parenting of discipline styles she had a choice. Step up and get it done before had to or have my back. The same applied for me.
So, tell your DH that if he does not like how you discipline then he had better step up and get it done before you have to or he can bite his tongue.
Good luck.