NCP BM driving with suspended license to come get kids for visitation?

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My SO has 2 young boys, both born and raised in MD. Custody agreement settled in October, he has custody, and she gets 6 weeks visitation(starting first saturday after their last day of school, which is June 16) in TN. She is to handle coming to get them, while my SO is to handle getting them back from TN at the end of the 6 weeks. CO also states that both need to provide reasonable communication while the kids are with them.

BM hasn't had a phone since October. Also found out that she moved, and no longer know where she lives. She hasn't been paying child support, so she now has a suspended license. BM wants SO to meed her in VA because she doesn't want to come into MD because she thinks my SO might call the cops on her.

If she shows up to get them, and is clearly driving by herself, does my SO have to let her take the kids? We both feel like it would not be a good idea to willingly let her drive with the kids while she has a suspended license (she may not have insurance either).

If she decides to call again before Saturday, would it be a good idea for my SO to tell her that if she plans on driving up to get the kids, he will not let her take them because she has a suspended license? She wouldn't be able to call the cops to enforce visitation because then she would be getting herself arrested. If she tries to take him back to court, the judge would probably side with my SO about not willingly let her drive the kids with a suspended license.

My SO does plan on taking it back to court for clarification or modification, because of the way that the CO is written. He would also like stricter wording for her 6 week summer visitation. It is too late to go back to court before this Saturday.

Suspended license

In my own experience, this is a rule without consequences. I'm in MN and raising a grandchild--neither bio parent has a license. It is in my court order that only a licensed, insured adult transport GD but when I found out Bio-Dad was driving around I brought it up in court. He got told by the judge to get his license back or find a driver--a slap on the wrist. In my state, it is a misdemenor, meaning the cops in St Paul have more serious things to do. If he happens to get pulled over for another offense, they will issue him an additional citation but not arrest him.

It's so stupid, but Dad would get in more trouble for being in contempt by not sending the kids than Mom will for driving without a license. Do you really think she will show up?? He should show up at the appointed time and place, buy something at a gas station to prove he was there and see if she follows through. I would not call the cops and try to get her arrested in front of the kids. Not necessary and the judge will hit Dad hard for it.

Send the kids and enjoy a 6 week break.

in MD, driving with a

in MD, driving with a suspended license can get $1000 fine, up to 12 months in jail, and 12 points on your license.

In TN, it is 6 months jail time and $500 fine.

He would not call the cops in front of the kids. If he doesn't have to let her take them with a suspended license, he would just tell her that she can't take them. That if she wants to enforce visitation, then she can call the cops or take it back to court. If she is stupid enough to call the cops, then he would inform them that he doesn't want to give them to her because she has a suspended license.

The other option would be for him to go meet her alone first, and if everything is fine (she has someone else with her driving, cops say he has to let her take them anyway), then I would bring them to the meeting point and he can take the kids from my car to her car (I would park on other side of the parking lot).

But there is no way that he would agree to meet her in VA instead of MD, we are moving on the 16th and he doesn't have the time to drive 1 hour to VA, wait for her for who knows how long, and then back with trying to move.

If she does call again first, and he tells her this on the phone, it gives her a couple days to come up with another way to come get them. By train, have another licensed driver come get them, etc. He would be willing to let her take them if she isn't the one driving. He just doesn't want it coming back on him if something happens.

I totally get you--in MN the

I totally get you--in MN the max penalty is $1000 and 90 days jail. Neither of the bio's have ever gotten that even after multiple tickets, I have heard of parents being found in contempt for not allowing visits.

Did he have permission from the court to move? If this goes to court, he could be setting himself up for a host of spankings. He needs to appear to facilitate visits, not look for reasons to cancel them.

I would make her give her

I would make her give her address and provide a phone number that is registered in her name (or some kind of proof of something prepaid) before allowing the kids to go. I would also request an officer meet you wherever the drop off/pick up is to verify her driver's license. -- But I am a B like that.

I would not allow the kids to

I would not allow the kids to go without knowing where they were going and how to contact them.

She can come to get them in MD or skip her visitation. The kids will be ready, assuming he has a way to contact them and she provides where she lives. Basically, follow the CO.

Don't start off making exceptions for her and not expecting her to follow the CO. Only bad things can come from that.

What happens if she gets pulled over on the way back with the kids and has a suspended license? Would she go to jail and the kids would see that and then maybe go into foster care until Dad could get to them? I think I would ask to verify her driver's license, address and phone number for their safety, as justmakingthebest states.

I agree with that. When he

I agree with that. When he called the court's support hotline system to ask about the no phone and no current address, they said there wasn't much he could do about that. Now he also knows she has a suspended license and wants to drive up to pick them up. That was the last straw, he doesn't want her driving with the kids with a suspended license. If she did get pulled over like you said, the kids would be with some unknown people in whatever area she gets pulled over in until my SO can make it there to get them. If she gets pulled over at say 8pm entering TN, then the soonest he would be able to get them would be 4am, and that is him driving with no sleep. It would cost him a hotel room once there as well, so he isn't driving all the way back without sleep as well.

I wouldn't allow them in the

I wouldn't allow them in the car if she you know she doesn't have a DL and ontop of it without a DL she can not be insured. The car can but not her. If she wants to fight about it I would call the police to protect the children.

My SO gave her 3 stipulations

My SO gave her 3 stipulations for coming to get them boys:

1. have someone drive her

2. provide her new address (which she should have done when she first moved)

3. allow the kids access to the cell phone SO will provide at all (reasonable) times

She has said that she has noone to drive her, but will have to ask if her dad can do it

asked is SO really had as issue with not knowing her address

that SO can call her parents and they will pass any messages along

So my SO gave her 3 very reasonable requests, and she has an issue with all 3 of them. She does understand the issue of her being alone and possibly getting pulled over for a reason that is not completely under her control (blown out tail light for example, possible DUI checkpoint) that the kids would be alone for who knows how long until they can reach my SO and can get to them to pick them up.

So your next step should be

So your next step should be filing with the court. You don't need a lawyer but she is violating your custody agreement -- ALL states have stipulations about addresses. If I was your DH I would not allow the kids to go at this time. File with the courts before the scheduled time for the switch-- It will look better for him.