You have got to be kidding me...
So the rollercoaster continues....
DH says that if I won't let BM's idiot nephew come over for every visitation that the skids have, that he is going to get his own apartment for the six months that I am asking for a break. I did originally suggest that, but frankly, after his long drawn-out rant about how we can't work on our relationship if we live apart, we won't ever see each other, and thats not what a marraige is, I am not getting back together with him if he is going to move away for BM's freaking nephew. If he wants to play father figure to that messed up kid, he can do it through visits in their town. My daughter and I do not need to be affected or host him in my house if I don't want to.
DH claims that he has agreed to all my other conditions except that one, and what about the conditions that he sets for me? I just about spit my coffee into the phone. Yes, please DH, let me know what conditions you have for me so that I can 1) keep financially supporting you and your spawn 2) deal with your skanky exwife CONSTANTLY because you have never set good boundaries with her 3) help pay your $20,000 of joint credit card debt that you took on from your ex. 4) deal with your BM's messed up nephew and your emotionally stunted, medication damaged son 5) help pay the taxes that you haven't filed since 2009!! 6) be treated like a second class citizen by your family while they spend all their time with BM and 7) drive your ass EVERYWHERE since you lost your license. I own the house we live in, pay all the bills, have perfect credit, a great job, great family and friends, and am damn good looking for 37. Please DH, tell me what I can do for you so that I can saddle myself with all of your debt and baggage? I can't wait to hear this!
We are SOOOOOOOOOO over!
I would defenatly(sp) say
I would defenatly(sp) say sooo over lol sounds like my ex dead beat ugh.. good luck
See ya buddy. And do let me
See ya buddy. And do let me know how it's all working out for you.
Good for you, your ex sounds
Good for you, your ex sounds like a complete f*ckin doucebag
Wow he has nerve!!! YOu are
Wow he has nerve!!! YOu are better off without him and all his baggage and negativity!!
What did DH say when you made
What did DH say when you made it clear he had blown things?
Look if he is willing to throw your marriage away for the sake of a child who isnt even his (although can appreciate the fact he has bonded with this child and doesnt want to let the boy down) then he isnt willing to truely change.
Finishing with him and getting him to move out should have been his wake up call, the devastation needed in order for him to reassess what his priorities are and get him to make changes for the better of your relationship in order to win you back. If he is creating a problem now then how can you trust this man to not do so if he moved back in, which would make things really difficult for you. Urgh, he is showing you what he thinks and isnt prepared to do for you. So be it in my book. There are PLENTY of men out there who will treat you like a Queen, so hang onto that thought. Also I would be considering how many times you are prepared to give DH a chance to put things right before you genuinely pull the plug on negotiations? He may come back crawling to you when he realises you mean what you say, but I would think this through.
You have SHOWN this man you are really serious about not being with him and yet he STILL is being a dick. His reaction regarding the situation with nephew may not initially have been favourable, but if his brain was in gear he would have been smart about this. He wasnt and that tells me he isnt that serious about changing. So really do think about how many chances he gets.
Tell me about it - he keeps
Tell me about it - he keeps telling that he has some honor left and that he can't upset the nephew like that. I didn't say he could never see the kid again - go actually DO something with him instead of bringing him over here to break everything, make a huge mess, play video games all weekend, and then go home. I reminded him that he told me not to have my 3 year old, whose dad is DEAD, call him dad because it might upset his 12 year old. I would think he would have had enough honor not to make that an issue for a little girl who had never had a dad and tell his little monster to get over it.
I agree though - if I am not worth a 6 month break from a kid he has no legal right or obligation to, I am out of here! No more negotiations. He needs to come pick up the rest of his stuff.
He is pretty awful. There is
He is pretty awful. There is something mentally wrong with him and that is totally acknowledged by BM and DH. When he is here with the skids there is non stop fighting, running around, and general bullshit constantly. He has destroyed the house, breaking things, spilling soda on the carpet and putting permanent stains in it because he won't get a rag. When he comes over, he makes a huge mess for me to clean up and then leaves without even saying hi or thank you. DH insists that we take him on vacation with us, which limits our travel because now we are paying for 4 kids, instead of 3.
Since the day I met him, I have NEVER let him be alone with my DD2 - I have always felt uncomfortable with it because he is in puberty and is just not all there. When he is here I am always keeping an eye on DD3 and if she wanders into a room with him, I either take her out or check in them every couple minutes. Has he done anything to her? I would say no, I have really kept a good eye on things, but I am not required to have him here so why would I? I have a pretty good sense of intuition. I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt and just watch things closely, but with all the other nonsense that I have put up with since marrying DH, I am just not willing to do that anymore.
To boil it down, I don't want him in our home, he causes problems, I feel uncomfortable with him around my daughter and DH needs to decide who is more important. This kid is not DH's adopted son, nor is he the kids legal guardian. I am not interested in being BM's babysitter anymore.