WTF
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This drives me nuts! Whenever Bm calls DH he rarely takes the call (if im right there). He waits till Im not around and calls her. Im sure because he s nicey nice to her fat a$$. Makes me wanna :sick: . I hardly ever talk to my ex (well we dont have kids, so their really is no point) and im sure not nicey nice. WHy is he like this...its because he is still afraid of her. Although she can be a scarey evil person.
that is the million dollar question
why do they bow down to them, why are they "catered too" when we get only scraps..
if anyone figures this out they will be RICH!
"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one."
Oh, yes
The "Gab and Go". I HATE that. And then when you ask what it was about, you get monosyllable responses. And then out of the blue he'll tell me a story about an old mutual friend. You know that came from her because they were just chatting away. Grrr...
Does it ever get easier?
I'm new to all of this and about to marry my fiance. I'm really questioning at this point whether or not I can handle this crap for the rest of our lives. It's been 2 years and I still get sick to my stomach every time he talks to her!(Which is every other day- ugh!) Usually if the BM calls and we have SD7 he will just hand the phone to her which is great. But when DH(2b) calls her she MUST get on the phone and chit chat.
How are all of you handling this? When most people end a relationship they never speak to one another again. If a girlfriend caught a boyfriend talking to his ex and seeing her, her feelings would be crushed and there would be a huge fight, right? Then why can't people realize that just because there is a child involved and the communication is necessary (to a point) it doesn't make it any easier! I'm so scared for what lies ahead if I feel this way now....
unreal
He just came back in the room and i said did you talk to BM? He says,yea. Apparently she could not go to parent/teacher conference last nite cus she was helping someone get into rebah. Oh what a wonderful person she is!! what a humanitarian! She is so thoughful and helpful with so many people....except for her own SD. I want to vomit. So DH tells her she is not going to see SD this weekend......that's a punishment?? She is thrilled..a weekend free of kiddy! I want the same punishment.
be grateful
You dont have jr for the entire week!! OMG......some days are brutal for me. Although weekdays are not near as bad as weekends cus Im at work and i work late everynite, dont get home till 630 or 7.
Also weekend winter time is a nite mare cus skids are stuck in the house. DH wanted to take them skiing this weekend. So I looked up the price...cost for 4 people to ski $245.00 for 3 hours!! NO WAY we are doing that...and that does not include money for food and drinks that you KNOW skids are gonna want also. So now they are stuck in the house. SWELL.
YEP!!!
Do I understand you!!! Winter is awful because you are an evil person b/c you don't want them to rot in front of video games for 13 hours straight and they don't like the activities you have for them b/c they take thought and they "do that all week in school". I hardly think Battle Ship is too exhausting for them.
Weekends are the only times we get them, and that is every weekend to be exact, and his raging ex calls and complains b/c the kids aren't happy at our house b/c they can't play video games. It's been explained two hours of video games a day (of their choosing as long as they aren't violent) is enough but she isn't happy with that and said they should be able to do what they want. I believe if two children under 9 were so smart as to make thier own productive and positive life choices they would have jobs and apartments. That sarcasim, but very valid point, goes above my BF's head and he agrees with his ex. There is no answer and NO it doesn't get better.
Gab n go
Sounds like a "in"convenience store.
My dh does this one too. He picks up the phone then walks out of earshot. Then if I want to know anything at all I have to ask. Lately, I just don't ask. So then he acts surprised when I don't know about things and things get screwed up.
My dh also seems to have little conversations with bm too about things other than the skids. I ususally get wind when he talks to me about something and ss pipes in "oh, I remeber that is what mommy was saying", or whatever. blech
Maybe it's better not to
Maybe it's better not to hear it. When H is on the phone with adult SD's and he's right next to me I can hear their whiny little voices. Usually I walk away to get away.
He never talks to BM but if he did I'd be more curious what they were saying.
Same here
I usually walk away becuz just the sound of BM voice makes me angry.
Just the other day my H dropped off SD after their "date night". SD was 10 mins late, they were at the roller rink and it takes her forever to get herself ready to leave (she loves it there). As soon as my H walks in the door his cell beeps.
He says "oh great what now"
Me: "I am sure SD told her I yelled at her even though I haven't seen her in over a week"
The text message says: "If you are going to be 10 mins late at least have the decency to call me. I find this very disrespectfull"
Are you kidding me? 10 freakin mins.? Becuz SD takes her sweet time??! So I tell my h to call her back and tell her he will call if over 15 mins just so she knows everything is ok. H says he is not going to call her she is Psycho, he won't call her now nor if they are running late.
So he calls
H: "Hi"
BM: "SD told me you don't need to switch weekends after all. Your plans fell through"
H: "Thats right and sorry about dropping SD off 10 min late, we were having a good time"
BM:"I just would like you to call if you are ever late so I know you didn't get into a car accident with your kids (meaning SD and my BS)"
WTF!! Why leave a nasty text message if you are just concerned!! What a bitch!! I think she just left the text to try and piss my H off. I just don't get it, he is all angry about it then apologizes. Whatever! Then BM is going to act nice on the phone since SD is by her. SD has no idea BM leaves nasty texts or letters on a regular basis. Shes a fraud too.
Gosh I hate that woman. But I know it is hard not to listen in, especially if you don't want your H agreeing to anything behind your back.
I have been walking away lately
BM left a screaming message that I am 'jealous' of SD17, and that is why SD is acting out and getting in fistfights at school, that I am keeping SD from talking to her dad - she told him 4 months ago she would call him back in five minutes and never did - including skipping Christmas and his birthday! so I am skipping her too.
Yes, I am jealous of a teenager who is flunking school because her mom has never made her study - I wish I could hang with thugs and write awful lies about my dad on the internet! SD is so lucky!!!
I walk away from the 'scintillating' conversation - it is actually pretty quiet because it is hard to tiptoe through all the topics we are not supposed to bring up or call SD out on, without her mom's head spinning around, that he dared to say anything 'parental' to his own daughter!! BM says that if DH has any questions about SD, he is to ask BM-??!!!!! I am so over both of them
So I guess to me I don't want to hear what they are saying - because i have a fondness for the actual facts, ha ha! sorry dear
"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin
You got the power Most Evil
I hate it when people blame other people for behavior... as if being jealous of someone can make them act out. (I know you're not jealous of your SD or responsible for her stupid choices.)
My H likes to blame me sometimes. He said his daughter moved out because I made her "uncomfortable". I asked him what did it -- the egg sandwiches she liked that I used to make just for her for breakfast? The new mattress I insisted we buy her because the one she was bringing to our house was so crappy? The graduation party I threw for her because BM refused to do anything for her when she graduated college, including going to her college graduation? Maybe it was the clothes I let her borrow of mine! Who knew treating her like I treated my own daughter would make her so uncomfortable?
And what's with BM instructing your H on who to ask if he has questions about a 17 year old! Ask the kid!
Thanks dear
What your Dh is saying of course makes no sense whatsoever . . . I guess any excuse is better than none for our SDs!
Our Bm actually takes the phone from SD to screamingly 'defend' SD's indefensible actions to DH. And yes, SD will be 18 in a month.! WTF
"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin
I wish I could
Hey thanks for even trying to unweave this web! but DH and I have wanted custody of SD since we got married 8 years ago. BM refuses. We have no money for attorney and SD is almost grown now. We have been trying to tell SD the truth about her mom for years now, that is why BM is mad. Its hopeless! but I do think you are dead on the money, and absolutely right!!!! But also as usual, SD is the one BM is hurting the most. Thank you so much for listening
Sorry doglover! I owe you one hon. For the record I would eavesdrop to hear what your Dh is actually saying to ex!
"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin