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Why do the kind get the "raw deal"

Perryslady's picture

I have always been a very kind soul to others. Proud to say my mom taught me that!

Since I was a young child I was kind to kids that were different "special" and was labled because of it.

Because of the teasing and such I lost self confindence and self esteam.

I guess my kindness is the reason I ended up with bad friends, bfs.

Now when I meet my DH, my childern and I were happy what a kind person he was too.

His children liked me too! Was always happy when I or all of us were coming over to visit.

Later his kid were saying I was phoney and fake, and was not nice as they thought.( 8 and 11 at the time & girls)

My DH figured it was his ex telling the girls this, for they way they talked, he was her(bms) words.

My point is if was kind wouldnt a BM want that for her childern?

I wasnt the other woman. My DH and her were divored 6 yrs prior. And she was with the guy she was cheating with before she kicked my h out.

It is confusing, I was raised to think being kind is right. THEN why is it so looked down.

I know she is jealous and afraid of losing her girls, but did not havent to distroy a good thing with young innocent children.

Now 7 yrs later im still fake to the kids.And I HAVENT changed, still kind even though im crapped on.

frustratedinMA's picture

Perryslady...

I know where you are coming from. I too have a BM who HATES me.. tries to undermine me and has even put her hands on me (causing bruising)... I wanted to ask her.. would you be happier if I were NOT nice to your children.. but rather very mean and cruel?? would being a not nice person make you feel more justified???

I think they are insecure women. They DO NOT like women being nice to their children, unless its them. They are more concerned about themselves then their children, because they dont see how another nice female in their child's world will only enrich their children.

My DH's ex went as far as to exclude me in a letter that would allow me to get my skids medical attention while on vacation, should my DH have been incompacitated. YEP!! because she was so concerned in DISSING me as if I do not exist.. she put her children's health and well being in jeopardy. LUCKILY nothing happened on vaca.

Sadly.. this will never change.. and I have resigned myself to that realization!

fedupinarkansas's picture

Honey there is nothing that you can do. The BB is the same way she would rather diss me than put her kids first. So don't feel bad just ignore it. I know sometimes you wonder b/c Lord knows i did but forget. She is just immature, jealous, and needs to grow up.

How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in your life you will have been all of these