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What would you do?

daniball's picture

I feel like I am having to chose between my husband and my son. This Thursday my son is having a field trip that I volunteered to chaperon. This past weekend one of my husband's friends died. My husband has not seen him in the past two years that we have been together. This guy and his brothers were his best friends growing up. Once we got together he changed into a different person then when he was growing up. He didn't do the all night fishing trips and drinking and partying and leaving the wife and kids at home any more. He went to visit one of them once and left me and his teenage daughter in the car for half an hour while he was inside. I finally just took off and he came running down the road. I came to find out that his friend's wife and him had "fucked like rabbits" (his exact words) years and years ago and didn't want to make me uncomfortable. First off what did he think leaving me in the car would do??? Then this past weekend we went to go see everyone after he died. He ignored me and our 9 month old daughter the entire time. His sister had to introduce me to everyone! He even shut the door in my face when we went to walk in. We got into a huge argument on the way home and he even told me to get out of the car if I was going to act like that. It was like he was a completely different person. He spent two days apologizing and said it would never happen again. I told him that it would be best if he just went to the funeral with his daughter. Now here is the situation... the funeral is the same time as the field trip and he said that he really needs me to be there for him. I don't like his friends and I don't like what they bring out in him. (The woman he got the bunny hop on with will be there too! Even though that is the least of it.) My mother has already said that she will take my place on the field trip. It's like I can either have a good day with my son or have a miserable time at a funeral with my husband. He has promised that it isn't going to be like that but the past two times make it really hard for me to believe. What would you do? :? :-?

Imustbcrazy's picture

Then you would not have to be making this choice right now.

My DH too was a different person before he met me... all night fishing trips, put with his friends, never home with BM and SS... so I totally get that... he recently started hanging out with his old buddies again. They come over every Tuesday night for poker after their softball game. But he would NEVER disrespect me when they are around. He is the EXACT SAME NEW man toward me when his old buddies are there and all they can say is "wow, what a difference, you never acted like that with BM". So, I would say that if DH was to start acting like the prick he was to BM when his buddies were around, I would tell him to go pound sand even if it was a funeral... go have a good day with your son.

Daddys Gurl

It's Better To Have Loved And Lost, Than To Have Spent The Rest Of My Life With THAT PSYCHO!!!!

Angel's picture

a chance to make it up to you. Show him that he either respects you 100 percent of the time or as Daddysgurl said, tell him to go pound sand. But give him a chance to glow or display himself. Better now than in 5 years.