At what point do you waive CS?

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We're in the midst of recalculating child support. Currently DH pays $240/month for both skids to BM. But with her recent raise and his increased time, we're estimating she'll actually owe him about $70.

Now, we know she'll fight it. She'll fight for a few extra days, and try to include overtime pay for DH .. anything she can to get out of paying him anything.

So we've calculated a few scenarios of what DH would be willing to accept from a custody/visitation standpoint .. some of them get us to BM owing him about $10/month.

I know it's petty and $10 wouldn't make a difference in our finances at all .. but would you require BM to pay it? Or would you just say it's not worth the hassle and waive it altogether?

Keeping in mind the vindictive and nasty person BM has been all these years up to this point .. including withholding visitation and trying to PAS the skids. DH has prety much said, she's going to pay whatever the calculation states and he's going to have it withheld from her pay (we can prove that she's been habitually late with other payments).

Well, it does seem petty to

Well, it does seem petty to make her pay a measly $10 a month, but if your DH is adamant about it, let him deal with her. I would stay out of it since you said it doesn't make an impact on your finances and just let those two duke it out.

I WISH I could get away with paying less than the $500 per month I pay in CS because NONE of it goes to my daughter anyway. But, 3 more years is 3 more years. I'll be done in 3 more years.

Oh, I don't really get

Oh, I don't really get involved in any of it. It's his decision and he knows that.

I think his lawyer will probably advise him to waive it (if it's under $50) as part of the negotiations for the custody changes.

I'm really okay with it either way .. we don't need the money. But it would be nice to make BM's blood boil a little }:)

3 years will fly by!

We had similar with BM owing

We had similar with BM owing us a small amount when she was fighting to get 1600 a month for SD17. DH waived it as long as she gave up custody of SS14 and we gave her custody of SD.

If BM does end up owing the

If BM does end up owing the money, you can always ask her to write one check eah year, say for $100. Or ask her to deposit the $10 each month into a checking account and then just give it to the skid as a preset when she graduated or whatever.

Take it if you're owed it!

Funny you should bring that

Funny you should bring that up. At the divorce, BM was ordered to pay DH $110 a month. DH waived it.

BM has screwed him over on everything she possibly can since the divorce. She lied about daycare costs and DH (stupidly) was paying her to pay the center - she was skimming $200 a month for herself from that. When DH had to travel, BM demanded money for food and entertainment for the days that she was absorbing the kids from him, she is supposed to pay 50% of the kids needs, but we foot easily 90% of shoes, school clothing, extras, school costs...

BM has repeatedly threatened to take DH for CS (which clearly - SHE OWES US) and has tried more than once to get it reassessed, but since it works out that she owes us, she never follows through.

I have vowed, if BM drags us to court for CS officially, we will collect $.01 a month from her if that is what is ordered, period.

At my divorce, I was ordered to pay my XH $15 a month - but I foot 100% of the bill for my children, he waived it. With the current visitation now, I'd likely be able to collect $80-$100 a month from him, but he is a financial disaster and its not worth my time or the headache to bother.

Take the ten dollars as it is

Take the ten dollars as it is for the children. Save it up for them for a yearly check towards something. Its really not yours or DH to refuse as its child support. That's the way I would look at it.

That's a good point. I don't

That's a good point. I don't honestly think anyone should have to pay child support in a 50/50 custody situation. I mean, BM does make more money than DH, but the skids don't go without anything in our home. We don't share clothes/shoes/supplies .. they each maintain a separate household.

I'm not too hung up on the $10 (it may not even work out that way), but I think this is a good idea. We could have her pay it December 1 and put it towards Christmas presents

I would never waive CS for a

I would never waive CS for a minor child. Both parents have a duty to financially support the child. The money is meant for the child.

I don't think that an adult should legally be able to give away money that belongs to a minor child.

I can see your point. I

I can see your point. I don't even know what the CS will end up being. DH may still end up owing her a nominal amount. It's a shame that BM is so money-focused .. CS will become a negotiating tool in order to get a fair custody arrangement in place.

She'll deny agreeing to anything that affords him more time with the skids for the simple reason that she'd lose CS dollars.

It's sick .. and if it means getting more time with his kids, he'd give up the $10/month.

I agree. I'm fine with it

I agree. I'm fine with it either way; waiving or not.

Like I said, I think this will ultimately become a bargaining tool in the custody/visitation negotiations. BM will use it as a reason to not give DH anything; DH will use waiving it as incentive for her to agree to what he wants.

It's a shame these situations come to this ..

In the situation I am living

In the situation I am living in, DH was originally ordered to pay $250 per month. This was based on false info provided by bm at mediation. DH thought it was wrong, but wanted to be done with her. They came to the agreement, with 50/50 custody, each would pay 50/50 medical/extra-curriculars (that were agreed on)/school supplies.

Only after BM screwed DH with medical expenses (they have a child that had about $300 on necessary medical expenses), extra curriculars (on DH's time, and on his dime-DH refused to disappoint the kids), and DH paying for all school supplies--DH went back to have the child support modified (with a tidbit of information that she inadvertently let slip). When it was calculated that she would owe him a whopping $4.17 a month, she flipped out big time. F&C* the kids, F&C* the system, F&C* him, F&C* her attorney etc.

After all was said and done, DH waived it. I really wish he hadn't, but I'm trying to back off. So, I said nothing, but it still makes me mad. She has screwed us out of at least $30,000 so far, and I don't see her stopping any time soon.

We have eight more years Then, we can say F&C* off!

Never wave child support.

Trust me on this one, just don't do it. It's her kid, she's responsible to contribute, no matter how small. Don't let her get out of her responsibilities bc of fear, to avoid conflict, etc.

We waved CS a couple years ago. It's a huge source of resentment for us. I wish we never did it. Now BM makes more money and we've got a battle ahead of us to try to get her to contribute to skids.

Don't do it!