I'm not exactly sure where I should begin I've known my step daughter since she was born although her dad and I didn't get together until she was just about two-ish and we had a good life with a good times and moments until she was about 13 and a half, then her mom showed up. A little back history so to speak, her mom disappeared when she is about 2.5 because she's was a meth addict she was in and out of her life off until 3 with a I'll pick up on " Tuesday show up on Friday" attitude after a while we just decided to stop lying to her about it.. within reason. thinking you know she knew that her mom was sick and that she would be by when she could but we are by the time she was seven we're sick of breaking her heart for her mom.I'll make a very long story short, at the age of 14 her mom had finally got her crap together and decided that she was ready to be a mom just not to her daughter..she had two little boys and she decided at the last minute that is would be a wonderful Idea to promise her the world and have my SD go live with her .when she move only 4 blocks from us, her mom decided that she needed to be more of a friend to her than a mother in anyway because of all the turmoil she put her through as a child and of course she didn't want make her mad or thing even close because heaven forbid she came back to her dad and and that's where it goes down hill.

my SD will be 17 in January and it's like everything that her father and I ever taught her instilled in her ,of all life's morals, respect.. everything like anything you can imagine that you would teach a child ..it's gone.
Bio mom let her do whatever she wanted we were never called and gotten a hold of for updates for grades for life, nothing. barely holidays. we weren't even told she has some schooling issues and was taken out of the mainstream high school and put into a school for I call It the school for bad kids, its for kids from bad homes and the street. to go and have a chance at education. I'm not saying we're perfect family but it's not a school for her. she was allowed to run away from any of her problems to problems big or small and it just got worse from there by the time she's 15 she's spending not just 1 night here and there are over at her boyfriends or friends house but a week, 2 weeks at a time sometime. It was heartbreaking to watch and we tried we tried so hard but because she was now a "teen" she had no rules no curfew no nothing she wouldn't listen to us, she drifted further away.
i don't know how to talk to my step daughter who is now coming back to just to say hi, eat and try for some money. i tell her I can't fix what's broken because I didn't break it. they do not don't get along at all they are so bad, shes almost a live in babysitter when she is at bio moms and they fight like crazy, she is a spazz just like her bio mom so it rarely turns out OK
she's going to be 17 in January she's going to be second heading into her second bout of a treatment centre and I see all these stories of bio moms losing their the kids to the step mom but what if it the other way around what if you had a step mom losing your pretty much daughter to her real mom. how do i tell her i feel like its bio moms fault for her lie, how do i help her with her cocaine issue
if it is anybody out there who has these problems with the drugs the family scenario I could really use some advice and thanks for reading my entirely long story and hopefully if you folks can help me out with any kind of insight i feel like i am literally on the edge of failing at everything ive done