Well if I sleep in the bed I want to sleep next to him lol I use his back to support mine xD so if it's just me in the bed, I may as well just sleep on the couch. But every time I bring up a comment about her needing a bed or suggesting she go sleep on the couch because there's no space/ I get too hot/ I don't want her kicking my bump, etc...he looks like I'm askin to part the red sea or execute her lol

she's 5... so of course to everyone on facebook it's just "so cute, such a good daddy just missing his daughter" *rolls eyes* :sick:

and nooooo, I got yelled at for suggesting that because "I know she's getting one in a couple of weeks, it'll be taken care of in a couple of weeks."

Welp, it's either gonna be her or me that hits the road in a matter of one, sooo....

And lol no it hasn't sunk in because he's spent the past 8 months so focused on his "pride and joy". I know, what a dink.

I feel like I'm letting myself be a pushover at the moment because I honestly can't handle it all right now you guys. It's too emotionally draining and stressful on me, I don't want to argue with him because all I do is get upset and worked up...I don't want to deal with it because it's not healthy for my baby. And we did have a "talk" (which ended up becoming an argument) last night....a lot of hurtful things were said to me and it's finalized...I'm going home.

Apparently I haven't brought anything but stress to his life. Stress because he's not getting a brady bunch family and i'm not showing SD any affection or interest in her, stress because MIL has been up his ass about how he's treating me, stress financially because he's working all day everyday, stress because he feels like he's "a prisoner in his own home" because he "tries to bring me places with him yet I never have energy or simply just don't want to go, all he's gonna be doing is working and going home, is that really marriage when his wife chooses to do nothing with him??", stress because "marriage didn't come with a manual, I knew I'd have to change some things but I didn't think it meant changing EVERYTHING about myself", etc..etc...and then ended the argument with "Maybe it would be best if you went home".

So, my suitcases are packed. Just waiting for next Friday to roll around. I'll be staying there until new years anyways so I can enjoy the holidays with my family this year. And it'll give him plenty of time to figure out if our marriage meant anything more than getting a free babysitter. He could have went to counseling with me but he wouldn't swallow his pride and stop acting like he's the picture perfect dad/husband to everyone else.

And what makes me angrier was that I was packing mine and baby's things at like 3 am and he came to the bedroom door looking like he was ready to cry and asking why I was packing a week early. And I told him "so when Friday gets here, I'm all set to go." so then he went back out on the couch and was playing our wedding song on his phone and crying.

He did go to sleep on the couch last night (SD isn't here) But when I woke up in bed this morning he was laying next to me with his arms wrapped around me. And then got up and brought me breakfast in bed.

Like, you've treated me like shit and put your child on a pedestal before me this whole time, I've tried what I could and I feel like he doesn't want this marriage to fail but he's not doing anything to prevent it. And then making me feel like I've been nothing but a burden and ruining what he has with his daughter and always "arguing with MIL because of me"...

And then you get upset and try to treat me better AFTER you know you hurt my feelings and that was the last straw. It came directly out of his own mouth "It'd be best if you just go home".

Tired of my emotions being rocked from one extreme to another. I don't even remember why I said "I do" anymore...

So I'm just gonna go. Back to my hometown to enjoy my friends, family, my baby, and most importantly, some amazing food

I don't know, I didn't even go out and acknowledge his crying. If he would have just at least considered anything I've been telling him the past 8 months, I wouldn't HAVE to be leaving.

I already paid about 500 for the flight so I'm going regardless. It's too late to fix anything now, he's had more than enough opportunities.

Yes, the manipulation is there. I can guarantee that's who his daughter gets it from.

lmao he seriously just brought home everything I've been craving throughout my pregnancy.

I'm still taking the flight, but I'll take these apology treats or whatever they are as well.

Lol.

I don't even know how to react to his attitude since the other night you guys.

He has been kissing my ass all day everyday. Treats, affection, cleaning...he's literally doing every damn thing he should have been doing.

SD came back today and he never pestered me once about her. He REALLY cut back on his babying her, and was even getting annoyed with her telling him what she was gonna eat/do after he told her no. He yelled at her to stop hanging all over him, to stop touching my things, stop playing on the furniture...and she got quite a stern talking to about getting to bed, no TV or dolls or "I'm hungry".

And guess who is on the couch tonight? Not me. }:)

Sad that it took me to actually follow through with the threats to leave to actually see a change in behavior. My SIL came over and when she was giving me a hug goodbye, DH said all depressed-like, "you might not see her for a while, she's leaving to stay with her family" and she said flat out in front of him "Well that's a good thing, then she can get some attention from them and focus on the baby, and maybe you'll learn to actually appreciate her once she leaves." LOL :jawdrop:

Now I feel slightly guilty or immature that I'm leaving and that I can't just stay here and work things out like a responsible married adult buuuuuuut....nope nevermind. Those feelings passed.

And I never said he had to turn into a flat out tyrant towards SD, but he wasn't all upset about disciplining her this time. It was quite entertaining to stand from the sidelines and watch.

Here's to another 4 days of this

I know, I have a feeling this is all for show. BUT yes, still leaving and we'll see how much of an effort he makes to change.

I woke up to a nursery filled with a changing table, baby bathtub, car seat wooly, bassinet, baby swing, playpen, 2 piles of clothes...what the hell. lol first off, I don't know where he got the money for all this, and second of all, IT'S JUST A BRIBE I SWEAR IT IS.

I'm going to go home and he'll be trying to guilt trip me by saying "I did all of that for you, bought all of that stuff to show you I care and you STILL left". Just watch. lol

I'm still going!

lol and I'm not on the couch anymore!

And he's due September 08, but he's probably coming earlier than planned because by the looks of it I'm going to need a C-Section