Weekend from hell ahead

Forums:

Just for background. I have three of my own, and a SS who is 13. He's a miserable shit. Truly. I've known him since he was 5- he was quiet, withdrawn. Things sort of went downhill after I married dh. He started to talk even less, developed an eating disorder (starved himself and lost 20 pounds at age 7, then gained over 40 pounds in 2 months a year later) Made himself vomit all over himself for a time. That was fun. He refuses to talk about anything in his life. We don't know the names of any of his friends (if he even has any) or what he does when he isn't here. He just won't say.

yes, he's in therapy. It's not helping. He's fantastic at parroting people.

We also don't have a lot of room, so he's in the living room when he's here. Dh had promise to do more with him when he's here- SS isn't allowed to watch tv.. That was to try to make him talk to us, didn't work. So the weekends when he's here, I'm stuck in the kitchen or my bedroom. Anyway, dh hasn't followed through.

And this weekend is V-day (not a big deal) and we're getting a blizzard. So he'll be here an extra day, and I can't get out of my freaking house at all.

Just want to scream- he'll be here with me and my other kids on monday all day as dh has work. Fanfreaking tastic.

I feel like such a shit for how much I can't stand him but I'm done. I've tried for y ears and years and NOTHING has helped.

I need the wine. Pass me some please.

Outside of the not talking

Outside of the not talking thing (because all my ss13 does it TALK ALL DAMN DAY LIKE A WINEY LITTLE 4 YEAR OLD GIRL!!!) I feel what you mean by feeling like a shit for how much you can't stand him. I've felt the same way for at least the past three year of the five we've been together, and he is here for 26 days out of a month, BD has him EOWE (when he feels like it...) This site helps me cope and feel better about how I feel because I now know that it isn't just me. SPing is unnatural, why am I made to care? Why do we have to? Why can't it just be okay that we don't?!

Honestly, if we had him full

Honestly, if we had him full time I would leave. I don't know how you do it.

I have four years left,

I have four years left, trying hard to make, trying hard to make it!! #Patience

I hope that your case is

I hope that your case is different, but after reading her for a while, I've learned it most likely won't be. No matter how old they get, there isn't a magic number (like 18) when it all ends. As a matter of fact, it seems like the bigger the number, the bigger the problem, even once they are adults.

Damn, I sure hope not... Dude

Damn, I sure hope not... Dude really is pretty smart (book smarts) and involved in school activities so hopefully he will make it to a good school after graduation that isn't in the near area. And I also think it will be his damn dads turn to spend some good ole quality time with his son should he choose go to school online or just bum it out for a while. We've (by "we" I mean "I")done our/my part with him. I should be allowed to be done!

I'll brb. Finding you the

I'll brb. Finding you the finest wine on the market.

This post makes me very sad.

This post makes me very sad. Not your fault, not your problem.

But if this were my biological child, I would NEVER accept this. You do what you have to do, and if it took separating from my spouse, I would have done it. I know everyone says "put your spouse first," but when it comes to the health of a child who is going to become an adult eventually, you put that child first. Who knows what was in his head? Who knows what he had been told or what his understanding was of what was going on? I have heard the MOST absurd things from my kids about how they saw the world when they were younger. They are 12 and 13 now and tell me some crazy stuff I NEVER would have imagined in their heads. Usually things that they "heard" and understood the wrong way. It's pretty standard for kids to think parents divorcing is ALLLLLLL their fault. That's something everyone pretty much knows. But every kid has their own thoughts and feelings that are sometimes so off and scary you don't know how they got there. Somebody should have reached deep down into that boy when he was younger. What started off as something fixable has possibly turned into a secondary problem ("they don't care enough to figure it out").

Why is the kid in the living room at 13? "Dh not following through" is probably the story of this kid's life, and you think YOU have it hard having to deal with him? Imagine being him.

We have a two bedroom

We have a two bedroom apartment and not enough room. So when he is here, the living room is his room- and it's off limits to everyone else.

Hey, I agree- it sucks. I am allowed to vent about it- and even in my venting I do say I feel like a jerk.

They were never together btw, they parted before he was born, dh has been in his life for always though- and he has tried, but it's clear that he is miserable here- which in turn makes me miserable. We have tried therapy, we have tried going about things differently here, but when he comes, he sits there and sulks and refuses to answer anyone in anything over a mumble. e

If Dh would leave me for how I feel- that's fine. I would understand entirely. but again- this is a place to vent right?