VENT TIME - Booking a Trip and being told I'm Selfish
HERE WE GO AGAIN!!!!
My BF (he has 2 kids, SS3 and SD4. I'm not a step "mom" perse but more of an auntie, cause we do NOT live together and I have no plans to anytime soon perhaps never) female friend is back to verbally clawing at me. This is the chick who is 26 yo with 4 kids that is a huge spendthrift (i.e. just bought her 6 year old a pandora bracelet) and made me feel bad for buying myself a Tiffany's bracelet instead of an American Doll for SD. Her hubby makes 100K per year and they live paycheck to paycheck.
So...I'm booking a trip for two adults, hopefully my BF will be able to make it. If he can't, then my twin sister is coming along as a substitute. It depends on who he can get to watch his kids, his mom doesn't mind and neither does his brother. Again, if unable to then my sis is coming!
I stopped telling BF's female friend any of my business but somehow she found this out. Asked me directly, 'So I hear you guys got a little trip planned.'
Me: 'Yea, trying for Mexico for about 3-4 days'
Her: 'Are the kids coming with.'
Me: 'No, this is just for me and him but we do have plans on taking his kids to a waterpark this summer or maybe camping.'
Her: 'That's disappointing, you guys should take them with you since these trips are not about you but about the kids. Anyways (as she smirks), those trips will stop when you guys move in together, which you WILL whether you like it or not.'
Me: Laughing as I turn my head and cringe (I'm quiet and non-confrontational so...)
Yea....I AIN'T MOVING IN!!! Not sure if she knows but I do NOT plan on telling her.
Another thing, I've been thinking I don't want kids of my own (not now) cause I'm beginning to peak in my career and want to obtain my MBA and run a marathon. Also travel the world (with or without BF) and have fun. By that time my eggs will have fried, so Im probably gonna get them frozen until the time is right.
She is now pressuring me to get pregnant. I said, 'I don't think it's gonna happen in the near future.' She said, 'Oh trust me, you WILL (smirking).' Recently she said, 'Around this time next year you WILL be knocked up, and I'm always right about my predictions. I wanna see you big and fat anyways. Have you got names picked out?' I just smile and say, 'Not yet, thats a discussion to come later,' while thinking 'bitch I ain't having no kids.'
SHE EVEN SAID, 'When I'm 40 my kids will be teenagers and independent and I'll be the one peaking in my career and going on trips and cruises, and laughing at you cause you'll be stuck at home with kids and school. Ha ha!' (more smirking) She said it in a devious really nasty way with a piercing stare at me. Way to make me feel crappy about waiting to have a kid, good grief.
WHY DOES SHE INSIST ON THESE STATEMENTS?????
She thinks she knows but she has no idea......
Your BF has to be playing a
Your BF has to be playing a role in this.
There's no way she has the balls to make these sick comments unless he's giving her the nod to do so.
Since she's soooo sure you'll be with child soon, do not trust him with birth control.
I think she may like your BF
I think she may like your BF - and I don't think your BF has anything to do with this bitch saying these things I think she is jealous of you and wants to be you - just don't talk to her -
Also DH and I are going to Mexico in May - we have a 6 year old so obviously we take her with us - if for some reason you feel pressured to take the skids - which I say DON'T YOU WILL HAVE MORE FUN!!! Then book an all inclusive and they always have kids camps all day long which is a woman who works for the resorts and will watch your kids and do fun things with them from 9 in the morning till 5 at night - DH and I were able to go into Town one day and have a really nice time in our room another day and a relaxing day by the pool and massages on the beach for the 3rd day - it was wonderful - and all it cost us was $50 in a tip to this woman!!!!
In another year we are finally going on our long delayed honeymoon - and we are going to Europe and leaving our DD with friends for 2 weeks with good friends so you BF leaving his kids with his mother or brother for 4 days is perfectly acceptable and how is a romantic trip to Mexico about the kids - this chick you talk to is nuts - keep your distance.
I'd agree with you if she
I'd agree with you if she were trying to break them up, but she isn't. She's trying to get OP to move in with/marry the guy.
I think BF(an his friend) is looking for a woman with a great career ($$$$$) to "help" him raise his kids.
I agree. She is jealous.
I agree. She is jealous. Don't even THINK about taking the skids with you. Your trip. Your plans. If bf wants to plan a trip with you and the skids that's his right and you can go or not. Stay away from the troublemaker. That's all she is.
Banana, I second Mom2- she's
Banana, I second Mom2- she's JEALOUS! When I first had my kids I had a lot of childless friends, I would have NEVER said ANY of these things to them!! I was peaceful and happy in my situation, and if my childless friends were doing great too I cheered them on no matter what path they chose. And if they weren't happy I gave them advice - WHEN they asked for it and WITHOUT judgement. She's so jealous she can't control her toungue. Next time she starts in, ask her why she's so obsessed with your life. Dang.
I agree, my sneaking
I agree, my sneaking suspicion is that she is jealous but I hate accusing people of jealousy, I really do! I just don't understand the seemingly attempt to bite at me and tell me my life will change so drastically when I move in with him....she says WHEN you move in, not IF you move in.
She gleefully tells me all my trips and shopping and working out will end WHEN I move in with him. And wants to see me fat and pregnant.
I'm almost ready to rub my current lifestyle in her friggin FACE!
My BF was her primary crush throughout her highschool years up to age twenty, but he wasn't interested. She ended up marrying his best friend. She vents to me about my BF constantly, like his actions bother her more than me.
Also, I she is very frustrated with my decision not to move in, she thinks its ridiculous (like has said, 'What do you have to lose???') She wants me to act on it immediately and get pregnant right away with him once I move in....ah NO.
Even his MOM doesn't give a shit about how our relationship is going, as long as the kids don't suffer.
He can't stand her, says she
He can't stand her, says she runs her mouth and likes to one-up everyone around her. He thinks her and her hubs are headed for divorce in the next ten years. She spent $20,000 on xmas gifts and her husband is livid, said that will never happen again. She did lock him down with three kids (her first child was from a different relationship) so yea.....
He's the same way as I am when she speaks, head down and don't say anything. The girl has a flaring temper and has a really good way of making someone feel extremely small and insignificant. She is no dummy.
I'm too nice. Really she has
I'm too nice. Really she has no one to chat with cause she is a SAHM and it drives her crazy being in the home while hubby is working and she is kind of trapped with her kids. I'm kind of a venting board for her so to speak....she is angry cause she gets no help with the kids from her mother-in-law and her own mom is a drunk. She calls and chats for hours on end cause I think she really is bored and I feel bad for her to an extent. Really messed up eh? I tell her none of my personal business.
This woman has the identical
This woman has the identical personality to my ex pseudo best friend who was in fact bff's with my now ex H, the woman destroyed my marriage on purpose and later admitted she loves to play with peoples marriages because we "weak women, can't compare to her golden pu$$@" yes she said that those words. Mine wasn't the only one she actively destroyed because men apparently see nothing wrong with making a female bff higher on their priorites than their SO's, she's of course wormed her way back to his good graces and working on his newest relationship. This women needs to go out of your life they say disengage with SK's I'd do it with her. Pretend she doesn't exisit when she asks about YOUR relationship/plans/life tell her "that is none of your business" As for your bf he nuts up and tells her to F off or I'd tell him to hit the road sounds like there are 3 people in your relationship.
She is lonly, miserable, and
She is lonly, miserable, and jealous.
There are only two people in this world, those who try to lift you up, and those who try to tear you down!
Stay away from this girl as much as possible, she's bad news
She sounds miserable and very
She sounds miserable and very jealous of your life. You do what you want and honestly if I had to do it again, I would not be in this marriage. I enjoyed being independent and single. Owned my own house and had a good job and a great kid. After my husband passed away I never thought I would get to a place of peace and then I did. And along comes DH and I am in blended family hell. Love the guy, not sure I love the turmoil that came with him.
You do what you want and get this woman out of your life, she is toxic.
She's sick. Tell her she can
She's sick. Tell her she can go suck it.
I wouldn't even entertain being in a conversation with her, unless it was to knock her one.
Yes she is definitely
Yes she is definitely jealous. Also, she definitely has more interest in your boyfriend that being just a friend. I would also be willing to bet that if they haven't ever dated, they more than likely have been bed buddies a few times before. Your BF needs to learn that although it's okay to have a friend, that female friend can't know EVERYTHING about your relationship.
No it's not selfish to want alone time with your BF, especially if you already have another family trip planned. I would definitely be VERY careful with what you say to this woman, and I think you need to have a long talk with your BF that he needs to stop giving details of your relationship.
simple.......ignore the bi***
simple.......ignore the bi*** - she's jealous!!
I agree with most of the
I agree with most of the responses on here. Either say something to her if you don't like the way you're being treated or don't talk with her or be around her anymore. Quit enabling her to be a b!tch to you.
Go on your trip. Who cares what she thinks, says, or does. You deserve to have some alone time with your BF. She's just a jeleous, bitter, loney person and there are obvious reasons as to why she is in the situation that she's in. When you treat people like crap they don't want to be around you. These types of people look for the right victims. Ones that they can control and say mean things to and they OP won't do anything about it.
Try standing up to her. Let her make an ass out of herself by trying to use her temper. It's only going to make her look like a nut. But I bet if you don't back down, she'll leave you alone. Why? Because you are not victim and that's what she needs in order to feel better about herself.
"Those who abandon their
"Those who abandon their dreams will discourage yours."
I don't know who said it, but I recall it every time I hear or experience this kind of diminishing jealous behavior. You do your thing girl!
Bananashake- everytime you
Bananashake- everytime you write about this woman I want to slap her. She doesn't even know how stupid she sounds. I so love your style. You just remain separate and do your own thing. I so wish I had done this the whole time.
Girl, dont let her issues and
Girl, dont let her issues and hang ups become your problem!!
Tell "Mrs. Duggar" to bite
Tell "Mrs. Duggar" to bite your skinny ass and then refuse to engage her anymore. You are not obligated to answer the phone! Allowing her into your life is like drinking poison and then wondering why you feel crappy. I could understand it when it seemed that your SO wanted you to be around her and it would cause a problem to cut her off but, now that it seems that is not the case, what possible benefit is she to your life??????
You are NOT obligated to be nice to mean people!