Traveling
Good morning. I am DEAD tired this morning so please forgive me if there are plenty of spelling errors. We just found out that my husbands employer might be relocating him from MIchigan to Florida (YEA!!! NO SNOW!!!). They had asked him to take a few days to go down there and check it out and see if its something we might consider. His employer offered to fly him down there but could only pay for his ticket which is understandable. So, we decided to drive as we cannot afford the the extra 2 tickets and they offered to pay for the gas if we did drive.
I am NOT looking forward to spending 8 or so hours in the car with a 7 year old at all!!! With her bathroom issues, if we drive anywhere that requires us to be in the care for an hour or more, I am almost garanteed to have to deal with her having an "accident". She never tells me she has to go and when and if she tells me, its too late or she needs to go right then and there. I really dont want to have to pack 2 suitcases just for her since we are going to be down there a good week and I dont want to have to pull over every 30 minutes just to argue with her to have her try and go potty! I also dont want to have to listen to her constant whining and pouting either. I do have a portable DVD player but it doesnt matter if she picks out her own movies beforehand, she ALWAYS finds somehing to complain about. She is never happy with anything I or she packs for herself. I know the best thing to do with kids and long car rides is to keep them occupied but she will only occupy herself for 30 minutes at a time and the rest of the time she whines, pouts and complains.
How do all of you handle long car rides with a child WAY past the potty training age that STILL has "accidents"? Do you take the time to pull over every 30 minutes just for them? How do you handle whining and pouting the entire time?? HELP! I am looking forward to going to Florida to get away from the cold but NOT looking forward to spending the time with her the whole time ruining it for me.
Katie
I did suggest her staying
I did suggest her staying with our neighbor while we went and was met with an absolutely not...we are going as a family. I really want to go just to get away for a little bit, especially to Florida and I knew what the answer would be if I asked him if it would be a problem if he took her and I stayed home. It is rare that we have driven long distances and the last time we went, we did take turns driving but will just switch seats with me and hasnt gone in the back with her....good idea, we will give that a try. She is only 40 ish lbs and the depends are WAY too big for her. I think I am going to try to limit the amount of driving we do per day on the way down but on the otherhand, I just want to get down there as quick as possible. I am screwed either way!! lol
Katie
Your right echo but I can
Your right echo but I can almost garantee that wont entirely happen, especially when he is driving. Since its MY car, I have already insisted that the whole back seat be covered in plastic!
Katie
I am way ahead of you on the
I am way ahead of you on the headphones but there isnt alot of entertaining he can provide when he is driving. It would probably take us a good week just to get down there if we stopped every 20 minutes for her to "try" to go. Regarding him not getting aggrivated with her, he is starting to come around because he was almost as bad as BM giving into her every need and wants. He always would use the excuse well...she is only 6 or 7 but has now seen where that has gotten him (us). We are starting to talk more about discipline and what not instead of him letting her get away with everything like BM does.
Katie
Benadryl for her or me???
Benadryl for her or me??? LOL
Katie
What about taking the train
What about taking the train down?
OMG I never even thought
OMG I never even thought about that option! I am going to talk to hubby about that and see what he thinks. We have taken the train to Chicago once but that is.
Katie
You don't want to spend 8
You don't want to spend 8 hours with her in the car...it will be more like 20; where did you get 8? Did you mean per day?
Are you expecting dh to do all the driving? Why not leave at the child's bed time and drive through the night? You will probably have to share the driving so you can both sleep some. But that can remove half of the stress. I drove halfway across the country with my two kids by myself and the best part was when they were sleeping at night.
I agree, his daughter, his problem. Why is it the sm has to stress out about all the details when THEY insist on having their way? Let him deal with it.
Sorry, I meant 8 a day. We
Sorry, I meant 8 a day. We were planning on dividing the trip into 2 at the most 3 days just driving there. I try to avoid having to drive at night as I dont have the best eyesight and I generally get headaches when I drive in the dark. If hubby would drive the entire night we would do that but I dont know if he would be keen on that idea. Why is it that the SM has to deal with the stress you ask??? In my opinion, I feel its because if I didnt do anything about the problem(s), I would be more stressed out rather then taking care of it myself when it happens or making sure it doesnt happen in the first place. They dont think that far ahead to correct the problem so it doesnt become a habit, they just pawn it off on us to deal with. That is just how I feel anyways.
Katie
So don't let him 'pawn' on
So don't let him 'pawn' on you. Do what I said put your head phones and if/when he says something say "dear I offered a suggestion and leaving her with the neighbor and you CHOOSE to bring her" with a big smile on your face and put your head phones back on. His child he deals with her and I guarantee it won;t last too long. He will do something maybe not your way but he will do something to try to fix the problem after he has had enough. lol
I agree I as far as
I agree I as far as entertaining her while he is driving, why does she require any entertaining anyway? Plug in your head phones and let him deal with her even while driving and if he says anything I would say "dear i offered a suggestion of her staying with the neighbor but you CHOOSE to bring her" with a HUGE smile on my face. lol then put my ear phones back on }:)
How about train or plane? If
How about train or plane? If they pay for his ticket-maybe you can convince him paying for jsut one more-yours.
If you add the cost of gas, wear/tear and miles on the car, stopping to eat often (especially with sd), stopping to spend the night a couple of times. I'm quite sure a plan ride might be less expensive?
You can tell him it would be a nice couple getaway-and then you guys can return w/SD.
I'm with others-I mean in intact homes it's almost certain that the parents would do this on their own, find a sitter-the whole 'we're going as a family' is classic guilty daddy.
Can she not stay w/BM that week or another family member?
Tell him you're reluctant to put that kind of mileage on the car. Let him know that you guys are going to be spending a lot of time there looking for neighborhoods, houses, etc...all boring stuff for a young kid and she will definately slow you guys down. Tell him it's not about not wanting the kid -but wanting some couple time with him to plan for your future, check things out, be less stressed out. Stroke his stupid ego. GOD men are idiots sometimes!
My bf would rather eat nails then do this kidn of trip with SD-he would insist on it being just us-NO kids, mine or his.
I know we are on a tight
I know we are on a tight budget and you do bring up valid concerns. I am going to sit down later today and research how much it will cost between driving, flying and a train. Once I figure all that out, then I will have it ALL printed for him to see. Leaving her with the BM isnt an option, she rarely calls and its a pain in the but to rely on her. The last time we tried to plan a getaway, she agreed to take her then when we called her, she never answered and wasnt home. I will try to convince hubby to re-consider leaving her with someone.
Katie
You must put in in diapers.
You must put in in diapers. Train, plane or automobile. Anyone of any age who cannot control their bodily functions should be appropriately garbed. No brainer there.
As for the complaints, whines, etc. - why can't you just ignore them? It's not like you can do anything to stop it. Quit worrying about what you have no control over.
There are headphones that are a cheapo version of the bose sound muffling that work much better than ear buds in the car. Tune into something yourself or just take a nap. Itis very important for the safety of you all that you pay attention to driving when you are driving. She won't die if the driver and other passenger ignore her whines.
Check out places that have
Check out places that have family restrooms - pretty common now. He can take her in one of those and handle the clean ups.