Had I not have found this website online I would have almost assumed that I was a lone wolf in the midst of a horrific transition to establish a "normal" life with my bf and his son. Because my seperation was a painless one I somewhat assmed that to a degree most seperations were painless...I'll take my things you take you things and don't let the door hit you on the way out. That was the most naive thinking that I ever had, but no more. Almost two years into my very happy and loving new realtionship with my b/f & his son, we have still been in and out of mediations, custody assessments, and outright battle of wits with my b/f's ex-wife. I have never met someone who hated her ex husband more then she loved her kid. She is in a severe denial that their marriage ( which was only a year to begin with and four years over) is over. In the beginning I had a totally diffrent perspective of her because she seemed to always show good "face" whenever I was around. Of course with all good time, ones true appearence shows up and she came out to be a manipulative, decieving, mentally abusive person, to not only her ex-hubby ( my b/f) but their beautiful 4 year old son. To date she has gone as far as sending christmas cards and letters of wishes about how she still wants his family to involve her in their celibrations, purchased matching ornaments for her home as well as ours ( incredibly huge ornaments.... she must be really trying to make a statement ) following us to events as well as taking our pictures at these events without us knowing, wanting to go to the hospital when our son was born and last but not least abusing my b/fs limited time with his son by letting him "meet up with her" at functions so that "he could see his son too." I have personally never had to deal with someone who has such a control issue before as I am pretty easy going about everything. I try to limit my contact with her as any contact or conversation that she initiates with me is always some sort of one upmanship so I just aviod her as a whole as much as possible.
Things have been at their most tense the past few weeks with the birth of our first child together, a son (which royally pissed her off) which I have not even let her lay eyes on, the ongoing custody assessment as my b/f gets a ridiculous few hours a week until they can come to a formal decision about at another mediation or a court hearing and finally ending this long divorce/custody process. At the previous mediation which was 6 months ago, she is still requesting that mothers day/fathers day, christmas and anyother holiday be spent as "family time" with the three of them.... yeah..the three of them, what about his new family that hes had for the past two years with me? She must have forgotten all about that lol. She initated the seperation and divorce and now she wants to play family? Im sure that more experienced step moms know more about what I am refferring to and have seen it a million times and if they have any advice about keeping the black knight at bay I would love to know how because I feel that she is really trying to put a dent into my very happy relationship with my b/f. I feel like I could write for days about all the terrible little things shes doing but I know that it won't really resolve anything or make her go away anytime soon, I'm just tired of dating his ex wife...