I am new to this site, so I will give everyone a little insight.

I am a "step" parent of a 4 year old boy named Cody. He is my life. I wake up everyday of my life and go to work for that boy, to make sure he lives the best childhood as possible. When me and my boyfriend first got together Cody was only 6 months old. My boyfriend and BM went 3 years with out any kind of court order reguarding Cody. BM would dictate everything, take him away at her will (for weeks to months at a time) so after the last time my boyfriend decided to take her to court and she decided not to let us see him at all until then. they came up with a mediation agreement and finally my boyfriend was actively involved in his son's life with out having to worry about her ripping them away from each other ever again, there agreement ended up being a 47% father/ 53% mother split. Not bad if you ask me, really couldn't get THAT much more, besides of course LEGAL custody, This has been the bettle. Right after all of this was settled BM decides she may want to move out of county. Note: Cody is 4 and starting preschool, with this new agreement my b/f will be taking him and picking him up from preschool on his time. So moving out of county, about an hour away will make things extremely hard. Since BM and my boyfriends split she has had 3 other kids with 3 other men. She thinks the world should revolve around her. She told us once before we went to court that "no judge would order for us to get Cody on holidays because they know she needs all of her kids together on holidays" you know what I told her? "If you wanted all of your kids together on holidays, you should of had all of your kids by one man!" Needless to say my b/f now has son son every other holiday! She did not fill out an "intent to relocate form" 30 days before her proposed move when she decided she may be moving out of county as there court order states has to be done, but yet she is saying she has to move with in the next couple weeks. She acts like she can do anything and have no consequences. My SS started calling me mommy occasionally until one time when he came back from his BM's and didn't I asked him why out of curiousity and he told me that mommy told him he's not allowed. When asked about it she denied it and said that she knew he would call me mommy one day since I have been there through out his whole life. I do not think my SS lied about it though. I have never and will never encourage or ask him SS so call my mommy I believe that is up to him, if he thinks of me as a mother figure then he is most certainly allowed. He is my little man starting preschool next week, I eill cry! I just wis hhis BM was more considerate of us!

Now to Kaytlin my b/f's 10 YO. She is a handful. Her mother had her very young, 14! My b/f was 17 and practically raised her while her mom went to school. When SD was 4 BM cheated on my b/f and they split. BM at time denied my b/f any visitations. He took her to court and got them. But my b/f works weekends so I had to watch her while he was at work, she would not listen to me if her life depended on it! She was very rebellious child. She is very good at school so I know she can control it but at home, she walks out the front door even though her mom tells her not to. She yells and back talks anyone BESIDES her dad. He is the only one that she will listen to. I think because he was her main caregiver when she was little. I am so scred she is going to repeat her BM's steps and make me a "step" grandma very young. But anyways one time a couple years ago SD went to her mom and told her that I had smacked her (my SD in the face) needless to say I got an angry phone call from SM, totally understandable! But I didn't and would never! It took her 4 hours of bold face lying to me and her BM for her father to come home and she spilled her guts that she lied thinking BM wouldn't make her come over and she could go to her friends house instead! That was my breaking point, this is when I refused to watch her anymore. Thank god her BM is reason and will let b/f get SD whenever we can or she wants. But at her current age of 10 it is not very often she would rather be out with her friends than with us.

I feel awful that I do not have the same connection to my SD that I do with my SS but I couldn't take it, it was not fair to mu SS that she couldn't behave in public so we couldn't go do anything ever and I cannot risk me getting in trouble with the law because she decided to lie on me again. That is serious stuff. Any opinions/ advice / questions feel free to start jotting. I just need somewhere to vent to others that may know where I am coming from.