Thoughts, suggestions, Opinions SD drama
BM has full custody and DH has visitation with SD12. Last weekend SD12 called DH hysterically crying from BM’s house( standing outside) to the point he could not really understand her. Apparently her older step sister who is 18 took away her phone and then hit her and BM did nothing. SD12 wanted DH to come get her( we live ten minutes away) right away. DH was ready to call the police and fly out of the house to go get her. I Advised him to think before he acted. Why because SD12 is a drama queen and did something Similar before which got DH in trouble. Last time DH called the police on the older step daughter and DH got into trouble with family court as by the the police got there SD12 had calmed down and downplayed the story to the police. So it looked like DH was just trying to cause problems. Well it turned out I was right to wait. DH called SD12 back 30 minutes after she called him hysterical and told him things were ok now. Big WTF.....
So my question is how would you guys handle this? Now the older step sister is nasty and has hit SD12 that is a fact but SS12 tends to over exaggerate in the heat of the moment then calms down. So going forward how should we handle these Hysterical calls from SD? In one point what if she is in danger from older Step sister BUT what if she’s just Over exaggerating the situation and it’s nothing more than sibling Disagreement. If DH flys over there with the police in tow and it’s nothing DH could be in trouble again
how cooperative is his ex?
how cooperative is his ex?
BM is NOT Cooperative at all Who hates DH
BM and DH are Constantly back-and-forth in court over stupid crap. BM is a total control freak and won’t listen to anything DH says. They only Communicate by text and only when needed.
DH is lucky you stopped him
DH is lucky you stopped him from jumping in with both feet. Did he forget the previous episode?Could DH talk it over with his ExW the BM?
I pointed out the last episode which is the reason
he stopped and waited. No DH can’t talk it over with BM. They have very little to almost non-communication. The only communicate by text and only when needed. Both DH and BM really hate each other.
Just ingore it all
We have these phone calls from bm and 2sds for years every time they get together. Theres always a fight about something. Then they ring dh all carry on and blah blah. Dh get stressed out try to figure out what they fighting about. Has to play referee. Gets all mixed up in it. Then a hour later every one gets over it and it like nothing happened. It all attention seeking. No one paying attention to us let's start a drama. That all it is.
My take on the relationship
My take on the relationship between the two females is they are stepsisters . The 12 year belongs to OP's husband and the 18 year to BM's SO.
SD12 needs to be told to call 9-11 if she is in danger. Just as anyone else being physically would do. If she has a phone and is standing outside safe and sound, she's safe
The parent of the 18 year old needs to remind her she is now an adult. She can be arrested and charged for beating on minor.
An 18yo beating a 12yo is a
An 18yo beating a 12yo is a criminal adult. I don't care if the 18yo and 12yo are siblings.
I would start recording the calls from SD 12 so that when she calls wailing about her StepSister beating on her DH can play it for the police and the Judge at the 18yo's trial.
smh
Totally agree but here is the problem...
A similar situation happened 3 years ago BUT when he police went over to talk to SD12 she acted like what happened was no big deal and it was resolved. At the time they were in family court fighting over something else BUT BM flipped a nut and brought it this up to the judge. BM since SD12 at the time of police questioning downplayed what happened BM made DH out to be this jealous spiteful monster who just wanted to make problems for her "new family" and the judge sided with BM.
So this being said it would be easier if SD12 STAYED upset for days and would be tell the police the same stuff she called DH about. BUT when SD12 blows up crying but then can be calmed down before police comes not sure how to handle this without DH looking like a trouble maker.
That is why you record her
That is why you record her phone calls. Take it out of BM's and SD's hands. Her voice crying about the beatings by the 18yo counters her demeanor when the Police arrive or BM's maniplations in court.
Download a call recording app and record SD's calls.
Do you think this is BM setting you up
To look bad, maybe she is doing this on purpose, to upset her DD so she called her father who called the police. Then she makes up with DD. So yout DH looks like the bad person. Also can used in court against DH
Hmmm....anything is possible with that nut BM BUT very unlikely
Older stepsister18 has a hx of "mood disorders" so for BM to encourage her to go after SD12 would be risky. If older stepsister ever hurt SD12 and left marks(proof) BM knows DH would not even hesitate coming after both of them with every penny he has. BM may have been thinking(and hoping) after the fact DH was going to do something like call the cops then she could go after him again "for playing it up" BUT don't think she set it up to happen.