Thank you....Thank you....Thank you!
I feel normal! While sitting at the computer almost in tears searching for father's rights information and legal mumbo jumbo, which is almost to the point of addiction, I happened upon this site. Within 5 minutes of reading different entries and such I felt a wave of relief wash over me... I realized it's just not me going through this hell on earth. My BF and I have lived toghether about 4 years he has two children SD 12 and SS 11, he has 1 day during the week and every other weekend during the school year and then every other week in the summer... I should say he is supposed to. The BM is crazy... I can't really find another word to describe it. I almost feel as if we have fought the good fight and we need to just walk away. Sorry for rambling, it is just a tough day and it seems like it doesn't stop, she dishes out nonsense, hatred and craziness faster then we can keep up with... and the court system, what a joke! I just want to say thank you for a wonderful relief in seeing that there are others like me... and what a huge sigh of relief to see that others can't stand the SK sometimes... I'm not evil, I'm normal!
LOL! No, you're not alone!
Been there and done that! We've been in the same situation for the past six years... SUPPOSED to get EOW, alternate holidays, part of the summer, etc. and we're LUCKY to average one weekend visit a year. If I had a dime for every hour I spent researching the legal crap, I'd be a very wealthy woman. In the early years, it pretty much took over our life. About two years ago, we had to make a major life decision when my husband retired from the military... either find a job near the kids and keep plugging away, or take the better job that was further away. It really wasn't much of a decision. We left the state and took the better job. We never got to see them, anyway, so why stay? He's working on building up a better long-distance relationship so that they'll come visit maybe once or twice a year, but I think it was the best decision we've ever made. Once we moved away, there were no more fights over visitation, shared holidays and all that crap. It has lightened the atmosphere in our home considerably. We miss the skids a lot - even ME! - but we didn't get to see them any more than we did when we lived in-state. I was like you... we definitely fought the good fight, but ultimately, unless we got a lawyer and sued her for contempt every other weekend when visits were denied, what's the point? I feel sorry for the kids, sorry for my husband, but sometimes a situation is crappy and it's going to stay crappy no matter how hard you try to make it better. So we chose to live our best life, try to include them as much as possible, but to not sweat it if they didn't want to our couldn't participate. It's been very freeing. Now all our BM issues are dealt with from afar and it's really nice to not feel her constantly breathing down our necks.
~ Anne ~
"Love, having no geography, knows no boundaries."
(Truman Capote)
I'm the same way...thank god
I'm the same way...thank god we live out of state! I couldn't handle the BM or "SS" anymore than once or twice a year! I always felt guilty for not particularily caring for SS...but I realized I'm not the only one this happens to, so it must be somewhat normal! So now I don't stress about it as much.