Sudden loss of Testes
Forums:
I was replying to someone else's blog and she had made a reference to her SO losing his balls when it came to BM. And I thought about it....what is up with that? We see our competent, brave, virile men go off to work..yep balls still attached. Social situations...ball check? Yep still there. BM? Skids? NO BALLS! What happens to them? Do you think they get sucked up inside their bodies and hide until BM and Skids are out of sight? Now I'm curious darn it...I am doing body check next time I witness this odd behavior... anyone have this problem?? God I hope it's not catchey.
In my experience in the past,
In my experience in the past, the first place to check is his ex-wife's purse. That is where I used to find my DH's.
Ha ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha ha.
One day a father gets out of
One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he suddenly
remembers that it's his daughter's birthday.
He pulls over to a Toy Shop and asks the sales person, 'How much for one
of those Barbie's in the display window?'
The salesperson answers, 'Which one do you mean, Sir?
We have: Work Out Barbie for $19.95, Shopping Barbie for $19.95, Beach
Barbie for $19.95, Disco Barbie for $19.95, Ballerina Barbie for $19.95,
Astronaut Barbie for $19.95, Skater Barbie for $19.95, and Divorced
Barbie for $265.95'.
The amazed father asks: 'It 's what?! Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95
and the others only $19.95?'
The annoyed salesperson rolls her eyes, sighs, and answers:
'Sir...,Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken's Car, Ken's House, Ken's Boat,
Ken's Furniture, Ken's Computer, one of Ken's Friends, and a key chain
made with Ken's balls
You ladies are tooo funny!!
You ladies are tooo funny!! It's true. I have to admit that I took my ex's when we divorced.. I gave them back when he could place nice in the sandbox and not PAS our kids and actually co-parent without vindictive dramas.
The problem with DH's is that he should have taken BM's testes when they divorced--she doesn't need two pair.
My husband always answers me
My husband always answers me with this statement when I complain about him needing to yell at BM or SK's. If I thought it would work, I would. Also, my personal favorite when I am ranting, is "If I could divorce her again, I would". Always seems to stop me cold. Still frustrated, but it takes the wind right out of my sails.
Actually trying to picture
Actually trying to picture it....it is pretty funny. And at the very least it would shut them all up? I mean what do you do when your Ex or Dad is grunting and beating his chest? The end result would probably be better for his self esteem.
"If I thought it would work,
"If I thought it would work, I would." That is a very key statement.
My experience is that DH is a "fixer" and wants immediate results and if that doesn't happen, well, it doesn't work. I have tried explaining that it is consistency that works. And consistency, takes time and discipline.
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I think what drives me the
I think what drives me the craziest about it is that the more they don't actually DEAL w/the crap that the Ex's and skids dole out, the WORSE it gets. Even though Proud Arrow was joking...I think she has a point. They SHOULD (figuratively of course) grunt and beat their chests, they'd like themselves more, we'd like them more and the ex's and skids wouldn't roll over them. And Muggle Mom, congrats, that must have been a glorious day, much overdue for you both!
I am loving this blog. And
I am loving this blog. And yes, I could never ever ever say: Grow a pair! Or Get a Job! to DH. But I want to so bad - its the medication that keeps me quiet.