If you know where he's heading when he sneaks out, head there with the kids and drop them off.

OR

The next time he sneaks off, drive them over BM's house.

Since he refuses ro listen to your no, perhaps he will change his tune when BM starts bitching at him.

How old are the kids? When he naps, either leave, or wake him up every time they need something.

Hire a taxi or get a friend to give you a ride and drop them off at BM's.

At the mall make it a game with the kids - tell them to keep up with Dad and you just fall farther back.

How well behaved are the skids? If, as is common, they are ferals, break out your Nanny 911 techniques and daddykins will come running back on skid's first whine about what an ogre SM is. At which point you can disengage, letting daddykins unabdicate.

If you don't have any bios with him why do you stay. Sounds like a selfish prick who avoids responsibility because he know you are stuck there.

Use his tactic against him and leave first. As soon as the car stops moving at the Mall.. jump out and let him deal with the spawn. When his kids are with him.... be somewhere else.

When the kids come to visit just leave. As soon as he makes it to the house with the kids take the car and run. Be out until late then leave early in the morning.

when your DH tries to circumvent your clear statement that you won't babysit by abandoning the skids with you, what do you do?

My DH would have never have done this, nor would I have ever allowed it. There are definitely other issues with your relationship, one being your husband having so little respect for you.

You say you need a shock and awe method of dealing with this but you have to be willing to follow through. You've been given some ideas but will you do any of them? Tell your husband what will happen the next time he pulls this, and then do it.

Frankly, I don't know why he exercises his visitation, if he is just going to dump the kids on you.

Has it seriously not occurred to you that you are the nanny he can f*ck? I would bet my next paycheck that if you say you are putting your foot down and will not be the kids nanny that you would be replaced in a hot second without a tear shed from him.

Come on, woman. Value yourself more.

He sounds like a terrible human being, a worthless parent, and a low-rent man. Seriously- a grown ass man who literally RUNS from his own children to pawn them off on someone else? Why do you even WANT this guy?

For GOD'S SAKE- don't get pregnant!!!

I would call BM
"yo your ex-husband just abandoned his kids again-yeah girl he literally just ran away from the kids, I told him he forgot his kids and he kept running....can you come grab them or should I bring them back to you?! I don't want to get in trouble so that's why I'm calling you."

maybe after a times of this BM will be on his ass to spend time with the kids or she'll take him for less visitation/more CS.

It's sad that the kids have to watch their own father run off like that....he shouldn't be allowed to have those kids.

You say you've got one foot out the door, which I am very happy to hear. Get that other foot out as soon as possible!

He isn't going to stop, so you will have to deal with it for the time being. And use each selfish, controlling act he commits as incentive to get out.

i hate it when step mothers are seen as free baby sitters.

the skids get dumped on us and then when we actually try to parent we are undermined. we cant win.

skip the resentment and get loser dh to hire a baby sitter.

I wouldn't talk to him at all after doing something like that. I would leave immediately when he got back and stay away from him for as long as possible and then continue to ignore him until he apologizes profusely and promises he won't do it again. I would tell him that if he does it again I will call the children's mother and get her to collect her kids or take them to hers in a taxi. If he did it again I would follow through and call BM. Then I would be seriously considering leaving him.

Here is a solution, the night before he picks up his children for HIS visitation pack a bag and go to a hotel,friends house OR your mom and dad.

Come back after he returns them to the mom.

Poor kids.

I dated a guy like this for six years. Never actually hit me, so I couldn't call him abusive, but he had these completely ridiculous ways of getting me to do what he wanted. This guy had his own apartment with cats that he allowed to breed, so at home he had 14 cats that peed everywhere. Our city has shelters, but they euthanize. The no kill shelters are extremely difficult to get a cat into, so unless he could find people off craigslist to adopt them, he was pretty much stuck with all 14 of them. This was not really my problem, until he lost his job and got evicted from his apartment-- and I told him he couldn't live with me. The next day I came home from work to discover he had dumped his 14 cats in my clean apartment while I was at work. He left them no litterbox and by the time I got home that night, there was literally pee everywhere. When I called him screaming, he told me they had no place to go and I had left him no other options. He almost promised to clean my apartment and take care of them and figure out what to do with them if I let him move in, otherwise it would simply be my problem now. He knew I didn't have the heart to simply let them out on the streets or bring them to a shelter, and he knew I'd rather kill myself than take care of these horrid pissing cats. It worked. I let him move in. I didn't know what else to do. I hated him and literally used to find myself wishing he would die, but I ended up staying with this guy for YEARS mostly because of the ridiculous stunts he would pull whenever I tried to get rid of him.
He was also pretty possessive and controlling, and used to scream at me for hours if heaven forbid I spoke to another male. After a while I wasn't allowed to see female friends anymore either, because I was "abandoning him" and using HIS time with me. When I finally found the strength to end this relationship, I actually had to send the guy a certified eviction letter to get him out of my house, since apparently even if you own the home, once you've given someone permission to live there, they are a resident and the normal 90 day eviction procedures must be followed if they refuse to leave voluntarily, which of course he did. Now I'm the bad one obviously, because I was so heartless I had someone I was with for almost 7 years callously thrown out of his home onto the streets with no warning. He told his parents and all of our mutual friends what I horrible thing I did, blocked me on facebook and from his phone, and left his one remaining pissing cat and dog that chews everything behind living in my house. And had his friends flame the hell out of me on facebook before they blocked me too. Oh, he also left most of his belongings and everything I'd ever bought him strewn across the bed, you know because I not only left him homeless but even took the shirt off his back?
Do these antics sound familiar? Listen, assuming you want to stay with dude, and maybe you do, hey I understand. I really tried to make it work with doushbag number one mentioned above and made every excuse in the world for his behavior for 7 years. Funny thing is, he was actually a decent guy. Just so insane that he had this tendency to react things he didn't like in ways that were unforgivingly manipulative without even realizing he was doing it. This is the dude who tried to sue every employer who ever fired him using discrimination or ADA compliance or workers comp or you name it as a reason. The guy who flipped off a cop and screamed obscenities through his window at him in a road rage incident. Just really entitled with parents who raised him to expect the world the bend to his will, and bailed him out when it didn't.
You are also with an entitled prince with a superiority complex and probably zero self confidence to boot. You have 2 choices. Both of them require you to stop being NICE.

1- LEAVE. Do you really want to be with someone who manipulates and controls you? Whether its intentional or not and whether he's really a decent guy or not? You are being manipulated and controlled, and this is YOUR life, not his to direct.

2- You are correct in your idea to fight fire with fire. It might work. However, the fact that you have a heart is how men like this control you. My ex knew I'd let him move in because he knew I couldn't bear to do anything that might harm those cats, my cats or not. You are afraid of harming his children in anyway, even psychologically. He is using the same tool to control you that my ex used on me. If you want to fight fire with fire, you need to stop with the whole heart thing. Stop caring, because he doesn't. It is not your job to protect his children from being traumatized from the consequences of his actions! Sit him down and explain the consequences of what will happen if he leaves the children unattended with you. The first time he doesn't comply, bring them to the BM. If that doesn't work and doesn't stop the behavior, you will need to drop them off at a police station, safe place, whatever. Or better yet, call him, let him know you are leaving, and then call cps on him. You don't have kids and don't want them, which means you're immune to anything CPS can do. He is not, he has children who have a mother who can take them if he is unfit. Do not stay in the house with his kids while he is not there for any reason. Even if you can't find him. If you'd like to make this even better, let him know that from now on you will be confiscating all car keys on his weekends because you don't think he has adequate bonding time with his children. However you choose to do it, DO NOT WATCH HIS KIDS AT ALL. Leave them unattended, drop them at the hospital, or drop them at a babysitter if everything else is totally impossible and let him deal with the consequences of payment for services or just use his credit card. Enough is enough. Stop allowing it.

What are the finances like in this relationship? How much financial control do you have? Whose name is the car in? The house? Do you work?

If you are really at your wits end, let him know the next time he does this, you will take a taxi to the police station and report him for child abandonment. But, if it really has come to this, just leave him. He sounds like a jerk and you can't count on him for anything.