Stepkids won't ask bio dad when they need stuff.
i hope you guys understand the topic. Prime example- 11 year stepkid says he wants an ipad or iphone for his birthday. personally i think he's too young. but i feel that he is old enough now to call his dad and be able to ask him for stuff. Once he was outside throwing rocks and broke his aunt's car. I get a phone call because the cost to fix the window is $200 dollars. (insurance deductible would have been higher). I wish he had called his dad to help fix it. Listen i get it, im the one he sees all the time. But the way i feel is that you have a father as well. and yes he may say no. but at least make him an option. I feel that it shouldnt be up to me and his mom all the time. i know their dad pays suppport. but it doesnt cover a lot. im not trying to be mean, but i really wish they would call their dad sometimes when they need stuff or hell that the dad steps in and helps beyond child support.
It's not HIM handling the
It's not HIM handling the stuff necessarily. But he is the one on step talk asking for support because it is affecting him as well financially. It's annoying as hell.
He doesn't have to allow it
He doesn't have to allow it to impact him financially. Dad is paying CS, so he is doing his share. If mom works, then her income plus CS should be more than enough to meet all of the child's needs and some of his wants.
For all you know, he DOES ask
For all you know, he DOES ask his dad and just gets told "no".
As for the car window, if he was on your DW's custody time then it's on her (or you, if you're the family breadwinner) to pay for it. If he's with BD at the time, then it's BD's responsibility.
I dunno, I come at this from a different perspective, since my skids' mom is ALWAYS telling them to ask their dad to pay for things - which actually means *I* pay for it, since I make more money. (He got talked into buying them iPods for Christmas one year. Apparently Mom and StepDad borrowed them and broke one, and then WE were expected to replace it! Um, NO!)
Now that they're older I just tell them to get a job. 
I NEVER ask or had my kids
I NEVER ask or had my kids ask dad for things. I was receiving support at the time. He paid support so that we did not have to nickel and dime him to death.
Now if the kid broke the window on his time, then I would say dad figures out how to pay for window. Other than that, the CP and the one who receives money should figure out how to pay for things they want the kids to have.
Exactly what goes no at our
Exactly what goes no at our house. "Your worthless father won't pay his portion so you can't do xyz". DH pays child support on time every time and never misses a payment, that IS his "portion".
I'm with everyone else in the
I'm with everyone else in the sense that if the skid broke something the aunts window on your family's side, then you guys are liable. That's just a no brainer. Same as at BM's.
However I'm also annoyed with my SD's because they always ask us for everything they need. Not BM. Every year they want backpacks and school supplies and they always want us to pay for it, geez ask BM for once!!!! They always ask us for a million Xmas presents (expensive ones and cry if they don't get enough, yet we'll ask what they got at their moms and how Xmas was over there and stuff and they'll say well we didn't really get a lot but it was okay. What?!?!? Here you would freak.
And we don't spoil them. We're always saying no, no, no. But they just keep asking. I don't get it either. I'm unemployed and BM works so I would so appreciate it if they would ask BM!
I don't push it though. DH doesn't pay child support to BM, they made an agreement (well she suggested it) that cuz they were 50/50 she didn't see why he needed to pay when they both support them. Fine with me! But it still annoys me that they don't ask her for anything.
A lot of the answers pointed
A lot of the answers pointed out some things we don't know. How much is Dad paying already? What portion of his income does child support take up? How much income does Mom have? etc. Is Mom telling them to ask Dad?
My kids never asked their Dad
My kids never asked their Dad for "stuff". They both knew that he paid CS and I worked to also support them. Once all the needs were covered, we could consider wants. If something got damaged while with me, I took care of it. If while at Dad's? I would not expect him to ask me to pay for the damages.
i wont disclose but its
i wont disclose but its nowhere close to 1800 a month. here's what im thinking. we just got married june 14th. i work , she works. joint account for us. but i dont want their child support going into our account. that money should strictly be for the boys. stuff they need. clothes, shoes, school supplies, etc.
Dh pays 1400 per month in
Dh pays 1400 per month in support for 2 kids, all medical insurance. Has never missed a payment, and he pays it by check to Crazo not taken out of his check.
DH also is also constantly asked for money for all the extra's. If he says no, Crazo tells them dad does nothing for them, put his life with Dragonfly before them, loves dragonfly more than them and calls him 1/4 of a father.
"Child support, for most non custodial parents, is a pretty significant chunk of their income. They still have to maintain their own home, and keep enough room in it for visitation. Custodial parents need to suck it up more often than not."
So true, and I could not have said it better. But the table is about to turn on Crazo and it should be interesting.