Step kids behavior
:? So yesterday was Father's Day and my husband has 2 children from a previous relationship and we have 2 children together. His kids from the previous relationship are 18 and soon to be 17. Neither one of the older kids called him to tell him happy Father's Day and that really hurt him. We just saw them last month and they were good. I'm confused as to how his older daughter posts on social media that her dad abandoned them since he has a new family. He has never abandoned them! He calls them and they never take his calls or reply to his text messages and then they turn around and say he never calls them and has abandoned them. They also come to visit he's paid for their plane tickets every time. We also plan our family trips and outings to include them and to their likes. I just don't know what's going?
They have resentment against
They have resentment against their dad, it's a mean attitude
I don't understand why they
I don't understand why they would have resentment towards him. We've been married for 10.5 years and he's always there for them. I just think it's not right for them to ignore his calls and texts and then turn around and tell his family and social media that he doesn't call and has abandoned them.
Most likely, they are jealous
Most likely, they are jealous of his other children and resent him for moving on and having a LIFE that doesn't revolve around them.
This is teenage drama on social media. Do NOT let it get to you or your DH. They WANT to play the victim and make him feel guilty.
They are little wretches
They are little wretches turning into full grown wretches. Watch your back.
He was in the military and
He was in the military and they've always lived with their mom. Every time he had a weekend available from work he would go see them because he didn't see them that often and then from one day to the next their mom moved them to Colorado and they've been there ever since. My husband and their mom never lived together and she was having extra marital affairs while he was in the military. So they called it quits.
Sorry Are you and DH really
Sorry
Are you and DH really surprised his kids behave like this? Its a tuff question to ask yourselves. YET it is a necessary one.
Again I will say I am sorry. I can tell this hurts you.
I do feel very sorry for your
I do feel very sorry for your DH; however I can also understand somewhat where the skids are coming from. We all make career choices in life and some allow more time with family/children than others and if you choose a career that minimises time with your kids (like the army) then you may have to wear the consequences of that decision.
My Dad always put family before work and for that I’m very grateful but that was not the case for my brother who came 9 years before me from my Dad’s first marriage (I’m a product of Dad’s second marriage). My brother’s BM moved him to another state after they split and the divorce got very messy and bitter. Dads didn’t have a lot of rights back then in Australia and he wasn’t able to force BM to use the plane tickets he would send so that my brother could come to visit in school holidays. End result – 9 years of estrangement between my Dad and brother.
My brother has let go of the hurt (against both my Dad and his BM) as an adult but I know he will always feel somewhat abandoned by my Dad and I’m inclined to agree. My father had no ability to change the situation when he was living in another state but he actively choose not to move to where my brother was living - even though it was where my Dad grew up. My dad also refused to pay child support since BM wouldn’t allow Dad to see my brother and while I understand the sentiment here – once again the real loser was my brother as he was raised on a very tight single mother budget as a result.
My DH moved from one country to another to ensure he could be actively involved in his kids lives. This was something he desperately didn't want to do as he has a very high paying job and excellent career prospects where he was originally. The move, and then subsequent break up of the relationship, sent him backwards career-wise and financially however he would do it again in a heartbeat to ensure he could be involved in his kids lives on a weekly basis.
In my view, bio parents should make every possible effort to be involved in their kids’ lives on a regular basis and being in the army and/or living in another state just doesn’t allow for that. Some kids will accept their parent being away for work a lot and others will harbour resentment.
Your DH should meet up with his kids face to face and try and talk through the situation and resolve it. Wishing you the best of luck!
This might sound coming from
This might sound coming from the Evil SM... but teens give a shyt about fathers days or mothers days... dang they don't even care about a parents birthday... why cause it means they do not have the attention for that time and they hate being out of the spot light...
Now for posting on public forums about them not having a father blablabla... that's easy to resolve, they will no longer be included in any family holidays, they will simply receive a cash voucher and card for birthdays and Christmas, and then CS if applicable, nothing less and sure as hell nothing more. They made the choice not to have their father, now they will have to live with that choice and miss out on anything fun with their father.