ss8's behavior therapist coming to the house....i don't like the reason why....
ss8 has really been acting up for ME lately. I just quit my fulltime job and am going to be a stay at home mom and a part time substitute teacher. did this for various reasons, anyhow, i'm home now in the mornings, and i get the kids ready for school. ss8 has been giving me a ton of attitude lately, told me the other day he didn't have to listen to me, told me today that this house was his DADDYS house not mine, blah blah blah. problems in school this week too.
So, the teacher notified me about ss8's wild behavior and I told her that we'd contact his behavior therapist and see what suggestions she had. (reminder, SS8 is high functioning autistic, and has a beh. therapist because of his horrifying in-school behaviors last year). So, FDH texts me today and says that beh. therapist is coming wed. afternoon "TO WORK WITH ME AND SS8".......no no no no no.....
I told him I have done nothing wrong other than have the same expectations for his child that I have for my own. I will not put up with disrespect from him in MY HOUSE and that when she shows up, i'm going to tell her that ss8 behaves the way he does because FDH doesn't punish him.
So I question why she's coming to 'work with me'? I don't need to be worked with, she can suggest what she wants, how to handle this kid, etc. but i'm NOT going to BABY HIM the way everone else in his life does. Aint gonna happen....
thanks for listening, had to vent today.....
I understand you. My SS12 is
I understand you. My SS12 is just today starting a day program for the mental health docs to evaluate him. I don't communicate with this child b/c he has went off in the past for simple things like, SS you need to get your homework done, SS pick up your things off of the couch.
His DAd blames BM for babying him but he doesn't see that he does the same thing. I'd be damned before anyone would have to work with me to communicate with someone else's child that refuses to raise their own kid.
It sounds like it may be poor
It sounds like it may be poor wording on your husband's part. Maybe the therapist is "working with you" simply because you're the one that will be home, or because you're the one that's stressed out about SS8's behavior? Try not to over-analyze the wording. The therapist may actually give you some tools to make your life less stressful and might be able to help you give your husband some feedback about a situation that is obviously very difficult for you.
My SS9 is a high functioning
My SS9 is a high functioning PDD-NOS kid...I completely relate to what you are saying about how others in your SS's life baby him...same here with my SS.
In the last year was when my SO FINALLY saw that my SS is far more mentally capable than he thought. He still needs reminders & the such, but he is better about it.
I just wanted to say that I'm sorry you are going through this & that I whole heartedly understand how you feel.
Hopefully the therapist you are working with doesn't go with the babying techniques...if she does, I'd find a new one.
Best of luck to you! Keep your chin up
It sounds to me like the
It sounds to me like the therapist will be working with you to help you figure out how to deal with SS9. Yes, it's the childs issues causing the problem and it's not you at all, but the therapist should be able to help you find ways to deal with the child and the situation. If that's not how it comes across when the therapist comes stay as calm as possible and ask them to deal with it that way, if you lose your cool they'll use that to say that you are part of the problem...which will only make you wanna choke their little head off.
good luck. Let us know how it goes.
Yeah I'd try to look at it as
Yeah I'd try to look at it as a positive. It stings to hear some professional is going to come to your home and "work with you" but if the child is autistic you may need different techniques and strategies than what you would use with your own kids. That's because of the child's special needs though, not because you are lacking in some respect as a parent.
My first instict was to say
My first instict was to say hell no...But, I agree that there may be other ways to deal with him than another child. So I would try and be open to the therapists involvement. Maybe they have better ideas than what you are currently doing that may help both you and the SS.
That said if it came at me and attacking my parenting it would be the last time that I would be involved with the childs therapy.
Even bio-parents could use
Even bio-parents could use help with how to deal with these kids. I mean everyone else is babying him, so THEY don't even know how to handle him. She may give you tools that work better than what you are doing. In most cases, you can't treat them like you would other children. There is a BIG difference between not babying and treating him like other kids. EVERY child is different and different things work at different times. Good luck!
Ide be getting the bio dad to
Ide be getting the bio dad to get home and work with therapist.....
not really your issue I didnt think
I get told the same shit from my skids too....