SS6 is "their" kid, unless BM wants something *smh*
SS6's BM has famously told DH on more than one occasion that SS6 is their child and therefore none of Auberry's business. This was said because of a few times when she was standing in my lawn or my front porch (house is in my name as I built it before DH and I got together) screaming like a lunatic at my DH for all the world to hear because she didn't like the clothes he sent to her house or some other nonesense. Well, when she did it I stepped out side, told her to hush up and leave rather rudely. So, she texts DH to tell him the above, because I supposedly interrupted them "discussing" SS6, and I had no business being involved in their business about their son. (I am sorry, I didn't realize that standing in someone's yard screaming loud enough for the neighbors to hear constituted a private conversation)
Fast forward to now. It seems that BM conveniently forgets that SS6 is none of my business when she wants something, like for us to provide transport or to do her a favor of some sort like delivering a toy SS6 forgot to bring to her house. Any time DH tells her no she blurts out with "Have Auberry do it. She married you, she has to shoulder your responsibilities now".
So this time I couldn't help myself. BM announce she was pulling SS6 out of school early to take him to an Easer egg hunt Thursday. DH said fine. Because of his CO there really wasn't anything else he could say because she is allowed to do it on her weekends. But, DH didn't send his toys that he carries back and forth with him because he can't be trusted not to get them out and play with them at school. So DH explained to SS6 that he would be spending the weekend without his comfort object and that was that.
Well, she calls and texts DH furious because Auberry should have brought the toy to her, or taken it to the front desk of the school so they could give it to her (not really something our school does), or at the very least been waiting for her at the house so that she could get it from me (I was in the pick up line getting my son, so not really an option), etc. So I just told DH, as sweetly as possible to let her know that I didn't do any of those things because SS6 is none of my business, because she had made it clear that SS6 is none of my business and I wouldn't want to overstep myself.
Not saying it wasn't a little juvenile, but hey, I could have been worse.
You did the right thing. You
You did the right thing. You could have gotten into a shouting match with her and you didn't.
Once a BM says those magic words that a skid is "None of your business" she has basically handed you gold because now you have the upper hand and a perfectly good excuse/reason NEVER to do a damn thing for HER kid EVER AGAIN!!! MUAHAHAHAHA }:) YOU GO GIRL!!!
I told my dh something like
I told my dh something like this recently when we had a fight about ss. I basically said that he needs to be careful what he says to me because it will sooner or later come back to bite him in the ass.
He has told me to back off from something and then later on turns around and accuses me of not caring about his son because I didn't do something. I'm like, "didn't you tell me to back off."
He just looks confused.
OMG if BM ever ORDERED me to
OMG if BM ever ORDERED me to do something I am not sure what I would do. I have never hit a person in my life - but she might end up with a black eye. If I could figure out how to punch someone in the face.
"Have Auberry do it. She married you, she has to shoulder your responsibilities now". I can't believe she is still breathing after making an asshole statement like that.
Now granted BM here tried her damnest to "arrange" it for me to take care of SS27's issues. But if she had ever told me it was my job to clean up her shit we would have had WWIII.
I think I'd just laugh...and
I think I'd just laugh...and laugh...and laugh. When I caught my breath, I'd ask "are you for real?" and bust out laughing again!
Good for you. What a silly
Good for you. What a silly bitch. She wants to exclude you when she is mad, but wants to use you when she needs help. She cannot have it both ways. I would have told her off personally, but you handled it very well. Will your DH actually tell her what you said though? If not, you need to let her know yourself.
Oh, I doubt DH will tell her.
Oh, I doubt DH will tell her. He always tells her that she needs to talk to Auberry herself. But when she drops off SS6 Sunday I may just tell her. I don't usually speak to her though, because I have a difficult time maintaining my IQ when speaking to her.
Oh, but she has handed me the world. Those little words really are gold.
I hope you told her off
I hope you told her off today. It will have been well deserved and YOU deserve to stand up for yourself.
OMG, I deal with this stuff
OMG, I deal with this stuff too. I understand my role as a SM but BM for reason needs to keep reminding DH and I that their child is not mine. She suddenly in the last several months now does not even want me watching SS when DH is at work or out doing something. She used to like me too.
BUT....when she needs something or does not feel like making the drive to pickup her child, and DH cant do it, then its "Well why can't StepMomTaxi do it? She's your wife and his stepmother after all?!"
She most likely never liked
She most likely never liked you. She was just putting up a good front. She wants to use you when need be, nothing more. You are your DH's wife, but you are not her anything. You owe her nothing and do not have to do a damn thing to make things easier for her. Speaking from experience here. Put your foot down with the BM, take yourself out of the option list, and your life will improve by leaps and bounds.