Someone please help me- Stepmother is abusive to my Dad
I know this site is for step-parents but I'm in need of help and I don't know where to turn to. Please someone tell me what to do because I'm very overwhelmed and I don't know how much more I can take.
My Stepmother is very abusive to towards my Dad. She hits him, swears at him. It's not right and I don't know what to do. I don't talk about this to anyone because my dad is all I have and I don't want to be taken from him. My mom dropped me off at my dad's place and took off. I haven't seen her in 5 years.
I'm only a senior in high school and I feel like this isn't my job to fix but i'm stuck. One time she slapped my dad so hard that he had he hand the imprint of her hand on his cheek. She has thrown dishes at my dad, she insults him every chance she gets and he just stands there and takes it. He's well over 6 ft 6 and we both work out 7 times a week. My dad has so many bruises on his arm after she lost it on him. Why doesn't he defend himself is beyond me. It hurts to see him insulted on daily basis. My dad is my hero. I idolize my dad. Her kids are not any better than their mother. At least when I'm around, they know not to disrespect my dad otherwise they'll have to deal with me. I play football and I'm also been doing kick-boxing for 3 years. Her kids I can handel. It's her I don't know how to deal with. She doesn't have a job, she and her vile kids moved into my dad's house and have leeched off him for 3 years.
. Everyday he is either insulted, or harmed physically. I have called the police before but he ends up lying to them and say it's just a misunderstanding.
This is too much for me to handel. I'm the kid. I'm not equipped or supposed to deal with such circumstances. I want my dad to be there when I graudated from high-school and college. I want him at my wedding, I want him to be grandfather to my future kids. My biggest fear is that when I come home from school, I will find my dad on the floor dead.
I don't know how much more of this I can take. I'm the child not the parent and this is getting too much for me. Someone please tell me what I should do. I can't do this... I really can't. I don't want to see my dad die. It physically hurts me to see him treated like trash. When she starts getting physical with him, he'll tell me to go to the room. I can still hear it though and that's a lot worse than actually seeing it.
Someone please help me..
This is not really an
This is not really an appropriate forum for you - most of us are step parents here and are trying to deal with difficult situations. Having said that - your father sounds like a co-dependent enabler of your step mother's abusive behaviour, and as such there is little you can do as long as he continues like this. You might get in touch with an organisation in your country that deals with domestic violence - I can't advise you as I am in the UK - and ask for their advice on the situation. Failing that, you are nearly of an age to move out? I would do so as soon as ever you can.
Yes, this isn't a topic
Yes, this isn't a topic related to just step-parents by any means. Domestic violence, including spousal abuse, occurs across all societal spectrums. On average, 1 in 5 women and 1 in 7 men will suffer severe abuse at the hands of a spouse or intimate loved one.
Having said that, here is a link re: help for men who are being abused: https://www.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/help-for-men-who-are-being-abus... . There is information given at the bottom of whom to contact for more information or assistance. Here is another link as well re: how to help a parent who is being abused: https://www.joinonelove.org/learn/5-ways-help-parent-abused/ . At the bottom of this link is info. on how to take care of yourself--and that is most important too.
Hello SSon, you need to tell
Hello SSon, you need to tell your councelor at your high school exactly what you told us. Your councelor will know what to do. Your dad should not be getting hit. You should not have to have your dad get hit and you not know what to do. Can you record the abuse on your phone for proof? You need to report to a trusted adult.
Call the police if you
Call the police if you witness her hitting him, tell your school councillor, reach out to a teen hotline for help (google search teen (or kids) helpline for your area)
You seem to have more trouble
You seem to have more trouble with this behavior than your father. I do not mean that this is acceptable- but what I am saying is that you have called the police and your father has lied.The very best thing you can do for yourself is to leave this situation. Get good grades, apply to a good college and study hard. Get loans if you have to. Move out on your own and then you will be able to have whatever relationship your father wants to have on your own terms. Ideally- no child should have to witness this, however your dad needs to be the one to handle this situation IF he doesn't like it. Whether you like her children or not, you father has made the choice to have them live in his home. If he doesn't like the fact that she doesn't have a job he needs to man up and tell her to get one. One of the hardest lessons in life you will ever learn is that in EVERY bad situation you have the choice to become a victim or a survivor. If you wnat to be a victim you need to learn to accept this and stay there and be miserable. If you want to be a survivor you need to move out and get your own life without your dad.
You are almost an adult and it's time to become your own hero. People will say call the police, tell a counselor and that it's not fair and you shouldn't have to do it. You're learning an adult lesson very soon in life and that is that life isn't perfect or fair. It is however your own to live, so if you don't like a situation you can leave it. That's exactly what you need to do.
Video and call the police.
Video and call the police. Let them see the footage of this abusive toxic asshole. If your dad won’t stand up for himself take it out of his hands.
Give her the same message you have given her children. She will speak to and treat you and your father with respect or she will deal with the police and she and her toxic spawn will be on the curb.
As a bonus, she will be dealing with the courts.