Ok so here is what I will share and what I am cuious about with others. Overweight/obese skids seems to be a theme here. Why? Because BMs are all heavy? Or does she just not care? Is the eating bad food to bond with kids? In my case I think it is! Does BM ignore health issues due to weights to spite DH? In my case I do suspect it! She knows it upsets kids and dh! We worry about their health, we also worry for more for my SD who can not wear the jeans or character shirts her friends wear, because she is in first grage and weighs almost ninety lbs. It is so over the top! She wants to try on things my dd has has and it does not work. So why are so many skids fat? To embarrass dad and stepmom? To prove kids are well fed? To bond with kids? They look like her? I just dont get it! What is BMs pay off for ruining kids health and self esteem?? Thank you.
I do cook with SS as he is he is interested and less annoying with meal requests. We have realized that SD is her moms pet and gets to eat anything she wants all the time, cupcakes daily fast food etc. We do not do fastfood with skids nor much ourselves to be honest. I feel BM bonds with kids when it comes to eating and getting junk food at the store etc. She is huge like can barely walk or breath. Kids are on DH insurance unfortanetly they live most of the time with BM and she wont work with anyone! Kids were invited to take part in free obesity help for summer at hospital in our city, no cost, she turned it all down. Do these BMs use kids weight/health to talk to DH more? In my case yes! Do kids miss the constant feeding and binging when they come here? Yes! They think and tell BM they are being starved etc. That I cook things they do not like to get them upset. What do you all deal with this as far as this topic goes? What can you or DH every other weekend and one night a week to help? Very scary!
Lol love that you call him chunk. I call my baby chunk too, he loooves his food. When he's older I think I'll stop (at least in earshot) but he's just such a food obsessed baby, and he's a chubster.
my husband and BM are both overweight, more than likely obese. SD7 is heavy for her age and does limited exercise. When I see her playing with other kids, she will run around a little with them and then she will find a way to boss the other kids around, whilst she doesn't really have to run.
When I talk to my husband about SD's weight he seems to think that she is genetically predispositioned to be large because of her parents, and therefore he is not really that motivated to do anything about it because he doesn't believe that he CAN do much. I have straight out asked him if he is happy resigning his child to a life of being overweight/obese and he genuinely believes that there is nothing he can do. He is usually pretty smart on most things, I don't know why he can't see what he could do to help his daughter.
We eat fairly healthily, but have large portions, (since moving in with my husband I have put on weight and edged over into the overweight category slightly, we could all do with losing some weight). SD was signed up for activities over the summer when she was living with us, but now she isn't doing any physical activities beyond what they do at school because BM doesn't want to take her and my husband doesn't want to pay. If it were my kid, my priorities would be different, I know the money would be a stretch for us, but promoting being active is really important to me.
They eat just fine when they’re with us. Case in point: A few Fridays ago we were at SD14’s football game half time show. We watched the band perform but we couldn’t find her on the field (she’s in color guard). After the half time show they are released for a short time to eat and drink. We went down to find her and she apparently had to sit out of the performance because her stomach hurt really bad. Come to find out the only thing she had eaten before the game, which was at 7:00pm, was grapes right after school around 3:30pm. We asked her why she didn’t eat more and she told us it was because her mother told her she couldn’t eat anything big, like a sandwich or something, because it would spoil her dinner (which would have been at 10:00pm after the game). BM teases SD14 if she gets a little belly during the summer (when I say little, I mean little). I think BM doesn’t want her to get “fat”.
Me too, My SD9 is also obese.
She is gaining about a pound a week, she is in a size 16 now, and that is tight on her.
I know why, I offer help, I offer suggestions, DH listens for a week or two, then he stops....but in the end its BM and DH that need to help her.
SD is not active at BM's, SD and SS report she lays in bed and watches movies and eats snacks all day. BM struggles with her weight and
BM calls SD "chunky" "fat" "piggy" The kids at school call her names too, she can't fit in the clothes the other children do, BM buys them for her anyhow, in two sizes to small, and she looks stuffed in her clothes and kids make comments about that as well...
She confides this in me and asks for help. I teach her about nutrition, I don't know what else to do...
DH only corrects her when I get on his case, other wise he ignores it.
few weeks back I said, she was crying again about her weight, she needs our help.
We chose to go out to dinner the next night, She wanted to know if we were leaving soon so she could eat a snack so she wouldn't be hungry on the 20 minute drive, once she finished dinner she wanted to discuss breakfast...DH correct her, and stopped the snack before dinner.
Then the next weekend we had a party at the house and DH watched her eat and eat and eat sweets all night, he said nothing...
I'm at at a loss too nunya...
It breaks my heart to watch her cry, to help her buy sports bras at 7 years old because the extra tissue makes her look like she has developed breasts, to have her show up from BM's house busting the seams of her size 10 clothes when she wears a 16 and even the 16 is tight...
Then she eats and eats and eats, covers everything with ranch dressing, eats a whole container of Nutella in 2 days...refuses to eat salad or chicken breasts or drink water because it "doesn't have enough flavor" for her.
They are not allowed anything but water in class in water bottles, so BM buys her clear sugar drinks to take or add to her water bottle so the teacher won't know she is drinking kool-aid instead of water all day...
She gaining a pound a week and DH just ignores it...
It is sad! We fight for time with skids, not because we want to control BM but so we can interact with skids and teach them things. It is really sad on the time table we have not much can be done. Meanwhile skids get heavier and use inhalers more! Makes me sad! If kids were victims of genetics that is one thing, but when they ask for foods they like and its all crap, Kraft dinner, one box each (gross) or cakes for breakfast and dessert at every meal and snack is basically a second or third meal. SD annoys the shit out of me, but I love her. It made me crazy when I took kids to department store and DD got a pony shirt that fit her well, SD wanted same one, would not fit, looked like slutty maternity wear, I said no. She got BM to buy same shirt for her and wore it for her pic day at school! WTF? Really? Gross and shameful!! The SS ideas of exercise is going Down the step wtf? He uses inhaler all the time! Neither one wears jeans at BM house! Can not fit! If an adult can read or write and is still heavy that is ok, their choice or maybe genetics and bad choices I get it. But do not put kids down that road! It really sucks! Yes I am thin but I work really hard and it is not about a number or size its about my health. My own mom is plump now and I know I am not blessed with eating whatever anytime, but I want to meet my grandkids.
It is just sad! I understand adults sometimes have medical problems etc or have to have to take a drug that causes weight gain etc. I feel bad about that. People come in all shapes and sizes and they are just numbers not an indicator of worth. But it gets to a point where adults should know better. We know how hard it can be to lose weight once it is put on. Obese kids are likely to just get bigger. There are health issues. There are self esteem issues, there are many problems with this. It is all around sad and sorry that some adults can not find other ways to deal with their kids then shoving food on them to quiet them, or comforting them with garbage food. We really are what we eat. It effects every body system. Sadly half of these kids are just chicken nuggets or pizza slices rolling through life because BM does not care! Terrible! In my skids case I wish a doctor would see the medical neglect. SS uses inhaler and SD has pre asthma. All due to not being able to skip, jump or run with out needing a break. I hate that! I want better for them. And honestly the deserve better. As I do worry so much about them, I am also frankly embarrassed of sd, to the point I do not usually shop with her. If I can avoid it, I will do nonfood related things with her sure, but even going to mall to do Build A Bear she yells "I would rather have a hot dog and pretzel and chinese food then go make a bear!" It is shameful the looks I get when I shop with her and she starts to whine for candy and ice cream.
Recently an elderly woman told SD to learn to suck in her tummy, to train it. I told that old woman to pick on someone her own age, and if she couldn't find someone her own age in the store I would take her down to the nursing home to play with her friends. Yes it is sad to see a fat fat child, but she is ours and we still love her and strangers have no right to make her feel sad. Every fat person knows they are fat, shaming them does not ever help! I have bad genes thanks to my dad, so I know if I want to be trim and healthy I need to work hard and eat right fuels to nourish me. There for I have never had weight problems. It is not the focus of my life but it is something I put time into. When I go out if I want to share a dessert I will. If not I never feel deprived, I know what cake tastes like I have had cakes before. It is not a big deal to push myself away from the table.
Ok so here is what I will
Ok so here is what I will share and what I am cuious about with others. Overweight/obese skids seems to be a theme here. Why? Because BMs are all heavy? Or does she just not care? Is the eating bad food to bond with kids? In my case I think it is! Does BM ignore health issues due to weights to spite DH? In my case I do suspect it! She knows it upsets kids and dh! We worry about their health, we also worry for more for my SD who can not wear the jeans or character shirts her friends wear, because she is in first grage and weighs almost ninety lbs. It is so over the top! She wants to try on things my dd has has and it does not work. So why are so many skids fat? To embarrass dad and stepmom? To prove kids are well fed? To bond with kids? They look like her? I just dont get it! What is BMs pay off for ruining kids health and self esteem?? Thank you.
I do cook with SS as he is he
I do cook with SS as he is he is interested and less annoying with meal requests. We have realized that SD is her moms pet and gets to eat anything she wants all the time, cupcakes daily fast food etc. We do not do fastfood with skids nor much ourselves to be honest. I feel BM bonds with kids when it comes to eating and getting junk food at the store etc. She is huge like can barely walk or breath. Kids are on DH insurance unfortanetly they live most of the time with BM and she wont work with anyone! Kids were invited to take part in free obesity help for summer at hospital in our city, no cost, she turned it all down. Do these BMs use kids weight/health to talk to DH more? In my case yes! Do kids miss the constant feeding and binging when they come here? Yes! They think and tell BM they are being starved etc. That I cook things they do not like to get them upset. What do you all deal with this as far as this topic goes? What can you or DH every other weekend and one night a week to help? Very scary!
Lol love that you call him
Lol love that you call him chunk. I call my baby chunk too, he loooves his food. When he's older I think I'll stop (at least in earshot) but he's just such a food obsessed baby, and he's a chubster.
I love the idea of outside
I love the idea of outside time and creative time earning tv, i will store this away for when i have kids!
my husband and BM are both
my husband and BM are both overweight, more than likely obese. SD7 is heavy for her age and does limited exercise. When I see her playing with other kids, she will run around a little with them and then she will find a way to boss the other kids around, whilst she doesn't really have to run.
When I talk to my husband about SD's weight he seems to think that she is genetically predispositioned to be large because of her parents, and therefore he is not really that motivated to do anything about it because he doesn't believe that he CAN do much. I have straight out asked him if he is happy resigning his child to a life of being overweight/obese and he genuinely believes that there is nothing he can do. He is usually pretty smart on most things, I don't know why he can't see what he could do to help his daughter.
We eat fairly healthily, but have large portions, (since moving in with my husband I have put on weight and edged over into the overweight category slightly, we could all do with losing some weight). SD was signed up for activities over the summer when she was living with us, but now she isn't doing any physical activities beyond what they do at school because BM doesn't want to take her and my husband doesn't want to pay. If it were my kid, my priorities would be different, I know the money would be a stretch for us, but promoting being active is really important to me.
BM is underweight and
BM is underweight and therefore so are the kids.
They eat just fine when
They eat just fine when they’re with us. Case in point: A few Fridays ago we were at SD14’s football game half time show. We watched the band perform but we couldn’t find her on the field (she’s in color guard). After the half time show they are released for a short time to eat and drink. We went down to find her and she apparently had to sit out of the performance because her stomach hurt really bad. Come to find out the only thing she had eaten before the game, which was at 7:00pm, was grapes right after school around 3:30pm. We asked her why she didn’t eat more and she told us it was because her mother told her she couldn’t eat anything big, like a sandwich or something, because it would spoil her dinner (which would have been at 10:00pm after the game). BM teases SD14 if she gets a little belly during the summer (when I say little, I mean little). I think BM doesn’t want her to get “fat”.
Me too, My SD9 is also
Me too, My SD9 is also obese.
She is gaining about a pound a week, she is in a size 16 now, and that is tight on her.
I know why, I offer help, I offer suggestions, DH listens for a week or two, then he stops....but in the end its BM and DH that need to help her.
SD is not active at BM's, SD and SS report she lays in bed and watches movies and eats snacks all day. BM struggles with her weight and
BM calls SD "chunky" "fat" "piggy" The kids at school call her names too, she can't fit in the clothes the other children do, BM buys them for her anyhow, in two sizes to small, and she looks stuffed in her clothes and kids make comments about that as well...
She confides this in me and asks for help. I teach her about nutrition, I don't know what else to do...
DH only corrects her when I get on his case, other wise he ignores it.
few weeks back I said, she was crying again about her weight, she needs our help.
We chose to go out to dinner the next night, She wanted to know if we were leaving soon so she could eat a snack so she wouldn't be hungry on the 20 minute drive, once she finished dinner she wanted to discuss breakfast...DH correct her, and stopped the snack before dinner.
Then the next weekend we had a party at the house and DH watched her eat and eat and eat sweets all night, he said nothing...
I'm at at a loss too
I'm at at a loss too nunya...
It breaks my heart to watch her cry, to help her buy sports bras at 7 years old because the extra tissue makes her look like she has developed breasts, to have her show up from BM's house busting the seams of her size 10 clothes when she wears a 16 and even the 16 is tight...
Then she eats and eats and eats, covers everything with ranch dressing, eats a whole container of Nutella in 2 days...refuses to eat salad or chicken breasts or drink water because it "doesn't have enough flavor" for her.
They are not allowed anything but water in class in water bottles, so BM buys her clear sugar drinks to take or add to her water bottle so the teacher won't know she is drinking kool-aid instead of water all day...
She gaining a pound a week and DH just ignores it...
It breaks my heart...
It is sad! We fight for time
It is sad! We fight for time with skids, not because we want to control BM but so we can interact with skids and teach them things. It is really sad on the time table we have not much can be done. Meanwhile skids get heavier and use inhalers more! Makes me sad! If kids were victims of genetics that is one thing, but when they ask for foods they like and its all crap, Kraft dinner, one box each (gross) or cakes for breakfast and dessert at every meal and snack is basically a second or third meal. SD annoys the shit out of me, but I love her. It made me crazy when I took kids to department store and DD got a pony shirt that fit her well, SD wanted same one, would not fit, looked like slutty maternity wear, I said no. She got BM to buy same shirt for her and wore it for her pic day at school! WTF? Really? Gross and shameful!! The SS ideas of exercise is going Down the step wtf? He uses inhaler all the time! Neither one wears jeans at BM house! Can not fit! If an adult can read or write and is still heavy that is ok, their choice or maybe genetics and bad choices I get it. But do not put kids down that road! It really sucks! Yes I am thin but I work really hard and it is not about a number or size its about my health. My own mom is plump now and I know I am not blessed with eating whatever anytime, but I want to meet my grandkids.
It is just sad! I understand
It is just sad! I understand adults sometimes have medical problems etc or have to have to take a drug that causes weight gain etc. I feel bad about that. People come in all shapes and sizes and they are just numbers not an indicator of worth. But it gets to a point where adults should know better. We know how hard it can be to lose weight once it is put on. Obese kids are likely to just get bigger. There are health issues. There are self esteem issues, there are many problems with this. It is all around sad and sorry that some adults can not find other ways to deal with their kids then shoving food on them to quiet them, or comforting them with garbage food. We really are what we eat. It effects every body system. Sadly half of these kids are just chicken nuggets or pizza slices rolling through life because BM does not care! Terrible! In my skids case I wish a doctor would see the medical neglect. SS uses inhaler and SD has pre asthma. All due to not being able to skip, jump or run with out needing a break. I hate that! I want better for them. And honestly the deserve better. As I do worry so much about them, I am also frankly embarrassed of sd, to the point I do not usually shop with her. If I can avoid it, I will do nonfood related things with her sure, but even going to mall to do Build A Bear she yells "I would rather have a hot dog and pretzel and chinese food then go make a bear!" It is shameful the looks I get when I shop with her and she starts to whine for candy and ice cream.
Recently an elderly woman
Recently an elderly woman told SD to learn to suck in her tummy, to train it. I told that old woman to pick on someone her own age, and if she couldn't find someone her own age in the store I would take her down to the nursing home to play with her friends. Yes it is sad to see a fat fat child, but she is ours and we still love her and strangers have no right to make her feel sad. Every fat person knows they are fat, shaming them does not ever help! I have bad genes thanks to my dad, so I know if I want to be trim and healthy I need to work hard and eat right fuels to nourish me. There for I have never had weight problems. It is not the focus of my life but it is something I put time into. When I go out if I want to share a dessert I will. If not I never feel deprived, I know what cake tastes like I have had cakes before. It is not a big deal to push myself away from the table.