Should you fight for almost grown kids?
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BM is in her court pattern. We can pick it out a mile away at this point. Skids are 13 and 16. SS16 is beyond hope of manipulation, SS13 is very manipulated although I still have some hope for her. I think in court both skids would go along with her.
So would you even go for it at this point? BM has been fighting DH for full custody for years (since we married conveniently). But I am thinking with the age of skids she might get it this time around. Both kids "claim" they want to be here, although they go back to BM and trash talk us. How late is to late for custody battles?
having recently been thru a
having recently been thru a joint custody battle for a 13 year old i say it isnt worth it.
our BM never follows the parenting plan. SD does what she wants. we know it will only get worse as she gets older.
16 in many states is the age where kids can decide. even if they legally cant, you will find its pretty tough to force a 16 year old to go anywhere or do anything in terms of visitation, particualrly if they have been given the freedom of their own car.
save your money and your sanity.
My view is don't enter
My view is don't enter custody battles over teenagers. They are well old enough to make their feelings known if they want to go and live with the other parent, if that parent is willing to have them.
My suspicion with your SKIDs, somuchdrama, is that they would probably enter into the "revolving door" scenario, if you had them come and live with you.
DH and I have been trying to
DH and I have been trying to fight the PAS with SS15, to no use. If he decides he wants to go with BM full time, we're letting him go. It's not worth the court battle. In our area, the judges go with what the kid wants once he's a teen anyway.
I would not fight over a high
I would not fight over a high school age kid and 13 is close enough. Let the kid go. Let the kid come back if he want to but tell him if he leaves again he's not coming back. The grass always looks greener but he must understand that he can't just move back and forth as his whims dictates or more likely when the parent he's living with seems too strict.
You leave and come back once fine. You leave again there is no turning back. Of course he can visit for a weekend but that's it.
Don't trust the kids, they
Don't trust the kids, they tell you what they think you wanna hear.
If BM wants to fight for full custody, let her. She wouldn't if the kids opposed it- they are old enough to tell her how they feel.
At that age it's not worth the expense. Let her have them it she wants...
If DH can reasonably protect
If DH can reasonably protect his children by minimizing exposure to a toxic opposition then by all means it is worth it. Even for a kid that is within a couple of years of ageing out from under a CO.
IMHO of course.
At that age its best to let
At that age its best to let the kids decide unless the BMs home is a danger to them in some way. But if needed they are worth fighting for all the way up to 17 in my opinion.