I think it depends on the child. I also feel that if you can't trust the child or thier decisions, they aren't ready. In your case, it doesn't sound like he's ready (he sounds like my ss).

I think a 10 year old in general could handle being home alone for two hours, but it doesn't sound like this particular child should. It sounds like you can't trust him, or BM. You may have to rearrange your schedule so he's not home alone.

I would day with his maturity...no absolutely not. My SS wil be 10 very soon and he has been allowed to stay home by himself for an hour or 2 when he was 8 years old. But SS is mature enough that when we say don't do something he won't and he understands what to do in an emergency. He knows that his mother is NOT allowed in the house and since his dad is the only person who ever disciplined him he is scared to do something his dad told him not to do. In your situation I don't think your SS could handle the situation and if he left the front door wide open who knows what could happen, aside from the animals getting out someone could rob you or wait inside to attack you. I think I would stand my ground and tell H absolutely not.

Think your right, it's your home and I think that's enough,

When I went to court the last time to fight for my son the judge made a decision in a similar relation. My ex was constantly fighting for more days with our son but wanted me to pick my son up from school and avial myself until he finished work and could come and collect him. These are on his custody days - that same as you mentioned. Well the judge in no uncertain terms said it was the parent who had custody at that time who was to be responsible for the child and that I was not a babysiter, nor should you be. Don't get me wrong any minute longer I can have with my son is great but that only enables the control issues to continue.

What if you want to take on a part time job..."sorry I am not available this week as I look after children and the following week because I may have to look after children when the custodial parent is unable" sounds great at a job interview. Why is her time more important than yours and why is she not spending that time with her child if he is so important to her? I unfortunately have to work but only do so when my son is at his dads and that means working shifts, why not her.

I had issues with this with my own SD. My solution for her immaturity was education. I feared for her safety so I enrolled her in first aid and CPR. She has taken babysitting courses through the Red Cross as well. I had her take those not to care for other children, but to learn to care for herself. Today as a matter of fact she was attending fire safety presentations put on by our local fire department. Check around, this is Fire Safety week. As for the opening the door to strangers, maybe check with your local police department and see if they have something available.

I think you just answered your own question... If ss is incredibly immature and irresponsible and untrustworthy then he sould not be left home alone. My bs was left home alone at 10 (he's 12 now), but he has also always been very self sufficent, trustworthy and responsible.... Not that he's not a totally normal kid.... He's done his share of stupid sh*t.... But based on how you described ss... He shouldn't be left to his own devices!

You are right. You can tell if a child is ready and the things that you've listed clearly indicates that he's not ready. I also totally understand what you're saying about not wanting BM at your home when no one is there.

It depends on the child. I have twin skids who are 8 nearly 9.

They are home by themselves every second saturday morning and monday morning.

The skids have to get up get dressed have breakfast , pack school bags and walk to the bus stop. As dh and I are both at work ..

Its only been in the last year that bm has finally stepped up as a mother and have the skids the skills to be able to do this.

When at bm;s the skids have to get breakfast and school lunch every morning as bm is busy.