Is she jealous? Or just insecure?
Hi
Confusing one for you all here guys. I hope that some of you can sympathise with my predicament!
My other half and I have been together for about a year and a half, and we have been living together for a year of that. I've known him for a while, but it was only after he split from his wife (the BM) that we got together. She cheated on him and left him, confessing she wished she had never gotten married and had children.
They have three gorgeous little girls who are sweet, kind-hearted and quite happy with the situation at hand - in fact I love them and they love me. They are now my family, so I talk about them to my friends and family often.
The girls are fantastic, and live primarily with us, although the nights are split 50/50 (their BD works shifts so has them most days).
The BM has now started talking about me on Twitter, Facebook and whatever avenue she can find telling me "they aren't your kids, stop pretending or insinuating they are" and other things like that. We have tried talking to her, reasoning with her, but she's still doing it and since I have known her for practically all my life, I think it's become more difficult for her to pretend that I'm now part of her kid's lives. Her family support me, and are thankful for the care and love that the girls have received. If I can socialise with them, talk to them, and just get on with it then why can't she?
They are still married, so I'm unwilling to rock the boat here, as she has the parents who can support her financially through a legal battle and we dont have that luxury.
Two other points - 1) her bf doesn't want a relationship with the girls and is never mentioned and 2) she was step-mum to the BD's daughter to a psycho ex so she should know how it feels to try and build a new relationship, and take on the mantle of SM - shouldn't she??
I just dont know what to do, but she is making my life miserable.
Any advice? 
August
LMAO Thank you allmitchell -
LMAO Thank you allmitchell - your words make sense!
For months at a time everything is fine. She has bought me presents when I have taken days off work to look after them when BD and BM couldn't, and sometimes we even chat at social events etc. It's just every once in a while she goes off on a tangent and it's all aimed at me! What have I done?!
If anything was aimed at the BD, or even said to the kids (which it hasn't) then at least I would have a forum to discuss. But when it's just all aimed at me (and my company!!) then I dont feel like I have the right to say anything to her about it.
I have known her for such a long time, and I think that's made it worse for her to come to terms with, but Geez - as long as the girls are happy (remembering that it was BM that destroyed the family unit in the first place) what else matters?
It's as if she wants me to walk around with a badge on saying "not the Mum".
It hurts
If it makes you feel any
If it makes you feel any better, it is NOT you she is upset about. Put ANY female into your spot and she would react the same way.
Sometimes they get over it, sometimes they don't.
I have been married for 10 years and together for 12. BM FINALLY got married last August and had a baby on Xmas.
We both thought that this would take her focus off making our lives hell. Well, she has pulled back SOME - but is still playing her little games. *sigh*
2 more years and both skids will be 18...hopefully she can't control our lives as much after that.
I have just been reading up
I have just been reading up on the GU syndrome and she's exhibiting most of the behaviours.
Then again, she has been exhibiting the behaviour of someone with multiple-personality disorder too, so can't really make a diagnosis here.
I live on a knife edge, and can't talk to anyone about it because whatever the BD and I do, it always gets back to her. We dont know who to trust, who we can talk to or how to act with people. We are just concerned with making sure the girls are happy.
I'm going to let the BD deal with her from now on and make sure she realises the boundaries. I HAVE DONE NOTHING WRONG and if she doesn't stop blaming me for loving her children, I will end up confronting her myself. As she has confrontation issues with strong-women, no wonder she is hiding behind Twitter, Facebook etc etc. She even checks to see if I'm at the house before she picks the girls up, or asks the BD to drop them off at hers.
Check out this link - it's fantastic http://www.shrink4men.com/2011/05/17/does-your-wife-or-ex-wife-have-a-go...
Two weeks ago she was in our kitchen, having a cup of tea whilst the girls got changed, happily chatting away.
.........
She called last night to
She called last night to speak to the S2BDH, and she was fine (even nice!) on the phone.
The woman is really messed up..