LOL at this! I'm pregnant and was on the pill because of the "sex" on a daily basis. Of course this never includes the fun things in life that he always has the energy to muster up in life to do with SD6 such as, dining out, day vacations, drives to the "countryside", I could go on and on.

I posted about this topic before. I get zero going "out" time with my husband anymore. On the 4 days a mth. that we do get alone, he wants to just "stay home and screw." Depressing. I wish I had known it would get this way before I made those vows a few years ago.

I hope this goes through because it would not let me edit*

On the note of resentment and sex being a sickening "duty" over time, yes that is how I feel lately.

It is like clockwork every single night when SD6 is not around, "DH leand towards me and makes that move." Blah. I wonder why I need astroglide?

Now, when the lil Cherub is here, my sex drive is even worse if possible. Oh yeah, after you give your 24/7 attention to another with me present and actually treated like a 5th wheel, yes babe, come to me and make passionate love to me after I have seen you coddle a 6 year old baby all day and night. That really makes me horny. (insert sarcasm) I've been trying play "ill" lately. It has only worked a few times so far though. I need to brush up on my acting skills.

You got to love it when you are barely noticed and sit on the sideline watching someone babied and stroked beside you and only after they get them to sleep, they come to you for sex. :O

OMG, if that happened to me, our relationship would be over. I would not put up with that.

At the beginning of our relationship FDH would be basically hands off around the skids, but would love me up the minute the kids went to bed or were out the door. It wasn't so bad because we only have the kids EOWE and Wednesdays, but it still pissed me off, and no it didn't make me feel like having sex either. I finally said something to him, and to his credit, he is way better.

But, you need to have a talk and have it now before you decide to keep this guy long term. Feeling like the fifth wheel is a horrible place to be, and if you don't nip it in the bud, it won't get any better.

Good luck to you!

Short story and an honest one*

I was 3 heel clicks away from leaving. I am serious. I was set to go back to college again next fall and everything. I am able to pay my own bills too.

Then for some reason, my birth control has failed and I am about a month pregnant and now forced with making major "choices" in my life. Not to mention the fact that my health is delicate too. On meds for depression and anemic. Oh yes, and over 35 years old too.

Some parents can not decipher the difference between the love for a child and the love for a partner. My exDH was one of them. He probably feels guilty and thats why he acts that way toward his son. Have you brought this up to DH?

Pantera- Yes. For almost two years now. :O

Flip this around as well: If I were to engage in this with my own kid and turn around only after my child was asleep or away and go to DH then for lovemaking?" I would never degrade him like that.

I do believe that the marriage is the most important thing in the home. Without a strong bond, all else under will fall. Take care of your kids, yes. I can't put my kids before my spouse though. (unless spouse is an asshole or abusive)

I guess my wife and I are fortunate in this area of our blended family adventure. She has never transposed her feelings or me on to the kid or visa versa.

She and I have kept each other the focus of our marriage. The kid benefits from our strong relationship.

Sex is a cyclical thing for us. Usually it occurs a half dozen or so times a month for a month or two then we go in to rabbit mode where is is several times a day for a month or so.

We both work full time so our sex life often is the opposite of how much we are working. With the kid a full time presence the timing is usually late night when he is home. We go rabbit at all hours of the day when he is gone.

My wife will occasionally go in to giggly teen mode with our son where they act like teeny boppers together. I think I understand why she does this. She had SS when she was 16 and grew up instantly. These "teening out" regressions seem to be manifestations of the things she did not get to do when she became a teen mom. My SS loves these times because he is extremely immature and these are his "special" times with his mom.

During those times I have difficulty being amorous. It is decidedly NOT sexy to see this beautiful, intelligent accomplished woman loose track of everything that she has become. When she and SS are "teening" out I tune out at home and lay very low or work really late.

I can totally relate. It seems like the only time my DH wants to spend with me is in bed, and not cuddling. This is his way of getting close and showing how he cares about me. Sometimes, as moms and stepmoms, we just need to be held. We're everything to everyone all day, and all we need is a little TLC. When I finally plop in bed next to my guy after a long day and just want to have his emotional support and his arms around me, his hands go up my shirt or down my pants. Frankly, it makes me feel cheap and like I'm only cool to spend time with when he's getting some. Where's the middle ground? He has needs, yes, but so do I, and unfortunately, they don't revolve around sex.