That sounds pretty familiar... I learned the hard way that I had to let it go because it was only eating me up inside.

When my Husband and I got together they shared custody 50/50 until the kid didn't want to live with Mom anymore (maybe she asked him to take out the trash or something and he didn't "feel like it".

DH kept paying child support for months after he moved in with us full time and it was no picnic. My favorite was when Child Services showed up at our house (that day I was working from home) to see if the child was with us part time because BM had claimed he was with her full time and wanted more CS. ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME!?!?

Now, after sacrificing years of sanity, financial stability, savings... sucked almost dry paying for the kid's education... Mommy dearest hasn't paid a penny towards food, clothing, shoes, college tuition, books, ANYTHING.

But, she manages to finance a European vacation for the once a year and she's the best Mommy EVER. And, his Dad and this sorry step monster picks up the rest. So... know you're not alone.

BioHo makes $10 an hour and has been using the CS from DH to support most of her household PLUS HER lifestyle.

'Ho is obsessed with driving expensive vehicles with personalized plates. She has TWO cars. 'Ho has weekly mani/pedis, regular hair appointments and root touchups, buys expensive clothes, and drinks daily. Her children wear Walmart and hand-me-down clothing. She used SD20 as a paws to try and get DH to buy things that were covered by CS (shoes, clothes, etc...). DH was living paycheck-to-paycheck (still is - our accounts are separate) while 'Ho and family went on annual beach vacations, renting beach houses to the tune of 4k a week.

'Ho has 5 children by 4 men.
SD23's father has never paid CS.
SD20 and PrincASS are DH's bios and he pays $$$.
PigPen's father is unknown, so has never paid CS.
Spawn10 receives a monthly SS check (father drank himself into the grave 6 years ago).
Her husband, Mr. Pinhead works part-time WHEN he can find a job.

'Ho WANTED more babies (read: more CS once she divorced Mr. Pinhead), but Nature said, "Hysterectomy is required!"

So BioHo's megabucks $10 an-hour-job is supplemented by DH's CS and Spawn10's SS. When CS and SS are no longer available, she may have to go back to 'hoing for money.

AND...
CS ends May 31!!!!!!!!

Yep BM is the queen of handouts and crying poverty. Her parents or boyfriend pay for most of her stuff, DH's child support covers the skids and then she works 1 or 2 nights per week at the local watering hole and stashes that cash. She has a nice car, lives in a decent rental house and always has a new outfit (she admits she is a "shopping addict"). She still is always bitching that child support isn't enough and she takes tantrums about paying for any activities or anything beyond food and basic clothing for the skids, citing she "shouldn't have to."

Meanwhile I work 40 hours + per week and DH is out on an injury (before he got hurt he was 50-60 hours per week). We drive old cars and are paycheck to paycheck.

It enrages me.

My ex's baby mama took his video game console to the pawn shop with him in toe and hawked it for ten dollars. Snatched the money out of his hand to put gas in her vehicle right in front of him. The child called his dad crying. I am like my god how does she even have custody of this child. The poor child barely has clothes. I don't get how some people are getting bank from welfare programs. I had to watch a movie at work about how refugees come to America and don't work and get like a big ass house to live in in a nice neighborhood from uncle Sam ie; us taxpayers. I am almost 40 and never had shit and worked all my life. Where's my house.

Our version of this is with the NCP SpermIdiot and SpermClan. My wife was the CP with sole physical and legal custody. The SPermCLan had regular though limited long distance visitation (5wks summer, 1wk winter, 1wk spring).

Their neglect of SS during visitation bordered on abuse. When he was a toddler and little boy he would leave clean, healthy, well groomed, etc.... He would come home with body odor that would make a septic worker proud, black sludge in his arm pits, around his neck, around his waist, behind his knees, and on his face, puss filled welts on his butt from diaper and heat rash, and an anus that was so raw that it would bleed when we would clean him up.

They would complain to SS and to us about how it was not fair that SS had nice things and the three younger also out of wedlock SpermIdiot spawned half sibs didn't, and how the CS ($110/mo at the time) was taking food out of their mouths and the mouths of the younger spawn. We always struggled with them taking SS's nice high quality clothes and shoes and sending him home in WalMart special clothing only to see the younger kids show up in family photos in SS's clothes later in the year. As SS got into his teens the SpermIdiot started stealing and wearing his clothes.

Fortunately we kept the Skid out of their disgusting clutches other than the long distance visitation though sadly there was nothing we could do for the younger three spawn.

My brain is wired weird - I am very much a black and white, yes/no type of person. Sort of like Dr. Spock. Logic rules. Things that do not follow logic make my brain explode.

All of this served me very well working in IT - I could write complicated programs in machine language that worked perfectly the first time.

Fortunately I also knew myself well enough to know that I could NEVER accept dealing with minor skids. When I was younger I ended relationships with men who had children because I just never considered marrying a many who had children.

As an older adult I thought that maybe a man with adult children could be acceptable. And that grandchildren could be a bonus. Yes my DH is truly more than acceptable - but his pathetic worthless POS son is not.

I did not have to deal with CS or pleas for money from BM as SS was grown when I met DH. SS31 used to moan about how poor BM was and that he never got to do anything. Bullsh*t - BM has had a great job for the past 35 years making good money as a scientist at a hospital. SS who was sent to expensive private schools always thought that he should live a life of privilege. Too bad so sad.