SD12 seems really immature
New here. Glad to find these forums.
I think my SD12 is seriously immature but no one in DH's family seems to notice what I'm noticing so I just wanted to check with others and see. Here are some examples.
1)SD12 got head lice. DH treated her head yesterday; while he was doing that, I bagged up all of her bedding and stuffed animals. I told SD12 her stuffed animals would have to stay in there for a few weeks to ensure that any lice or nits on them will suffocate. She started whimpering and SOBBING, in the way maybe a 4 year old would, and cried, "But I NEEEEED my stuffed animals! Please don't make me go without them!" and proceeded to boo-hoo and scream bloody murder! I would expect this from a 4 year old. Not a 12 year old who is in 6th grade! When I was her age, I still kept my stuffed animals on my bed but it really was for decoration more than anything, and if I'd had to bag them up up I would have been like "ok". She literally cried herself to sleep and kept saying "I want my stuffed animals!!!"
2)We went to my family reunion last month. There were lots of kids there, and at least 3 her age, which were all hanging out. Instead of her introducing herself to them, she spent the entire time playing on the playground with an 8 year old!
3)When she goes to stay at her grandma's house, even though she has a spare bedroom over there she can sleep in, she chooses to cuddle with her grandma and have her sing to her until she falls asleep. I wish I was kidding.
When I was 12, I was getting into fashion and doing my hair and starting to like boys, not playing with stuffed animals. I certainly wouldn't have wanted to hang out with 8 year olds. I just don't really understand. Am I wrong for thinking she is incredibly immature?
Well SD11 is immature and
Well SD11 is immature and thinks she's a big bad adult too. So at least you're only dealing with one. SD is immature when you call her out and boo hoo's at the drop of a hat. Then she's on her Iphone texting up people, getting on FB and taking bathroom selfies with other girls, who knows what else.
Let her be immature as far as playing with the younger kids, that crying has got to go, I'm right there with you on that.
SD11 is a little immature for
SD11 is a little immature for her age as well.
I noticed this year that her friends from last year that are suddenly a little more mature than she is are not in her social circle any longer. One of her best friends is a year younger.
She still needs to constantly be reminded to brush her teeth (with toothpaste) and to shower. We are in a little clothing reconstruction phase/negotiation since she's developing but still wants to dress like a 9 yo in most cases.
I had a bit of a shock yesterday when she said that if a boy character in a book she was reading was real she would "like" him - first time she's admitted to that. Then she went on to say she likes books with the teenage characters "kissing" even if she still thinks seeing it on tv or in a movie is gross.
I can only hope that better hygiene is on the way shortly...(this is DP/BM issue not mine, I can only watch).
It's disturbing to watch a 12
It's disturbing to watch a 12 year old girl chase after the 7 year old. My sdnow15 was like that. She is very socially backward. One of my saddest moments was getting a call from the mom at a slumber party begging for help getting sdthen14 out the door in the morning. We were on our way to pick her up mid-morning and apparently sd was being lippy and defiant to this mom, refusing to get her stuff together.
We arrived and the hostess girl greeted us at the door and made pleasant conversation with us like a well trained little hostess. The mom was trying to tell sd that we were here but it was all confusing to us. We suddenly see sd running about upstairs chasing the youngest child of the house, a 1st grader, ignoring the hostess mom. Just to the left we could see in another room a row of middle school girls sitting orderly on a couch with embarrassed looks on their faces. It was obvious to me that sd was the only girl that had been asked to leave this early and that the other girls found her impossible to connect with and embarrassing to witness. I even wondered if the party was supposed to continue on all day but sd just could not be invited to the rest of it as hostess mom couldn't control her and the other girls didn't like her.
The hostess mom is pretty much bm's only friend and that's why sd was invited in the first place. SD has known these girls all her life.
This type of scenario has repeated a lot in my experience of sd. At the time I begged dh to facilitate her making friends with other girls her own age because I felt that if she couldn't do that now then in high school some boy would scoop her up and that would be her only social contact which is a situation fraught with risks. Sadly, sd fought against our attempts at socializing her. (BM was also a big obstacle)
So now SD is 15 and a sophomore. She has a boyfriend attached at the hip. No real girlfriends. Just as I predicted.
For some kids skewing downward socially at age 12 may be ok but for others it is a big fat red flag. OP, I feel your pain.
Aaaaaahhhhh! TWELVE! Isn't it
Aaaaaahhhhh! TWELVE! Isn't it GRAND?
I happen to have a 12 year old who was born incredibly immature, but turned into an emotional nightmare around age 11. There were times that she was crying uncontrollably and couldn't tell me why! And kept saying that she couldn't stop. So crying over stuffed animals doesn't necessarily mean she's immature. It means her hormones are whacky and everything bad that's ever happened to her came up at the same time and bagging the stuffed animals pushed her over the edge.
If you paid much attention to other 12 year-olds, you would probably hang out with the younger girls as well (or older, if possible). 12 year-olds suck! They are already stuck with each other all day at school, why would they want more in their free time! We homeschool, but it's the same no matter where you go. My daughter cheered with some of the bitchiest homeschool girls I've ever met. She did meet some girls she really liked at a bday party last week, but I bet if she spent a lot of time with them, they probably suck, too. (And yes, my daughter sucks sometimes as well!)
Wanting to sleep with grandma... she's trying to hang onto her youth while she can. I don't blame her. Everyone's pushing kids to grow up so early these days and expecting them to act like their friends. Yuck. Grandma probably makes her feel loved. Shoot, there are days I'd like that LOL